I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL STEPHEN KING A PUSSY…
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007 at 1:07pm by Kip Wingerschmidt
…when he cold cujo-d me and threw the most recent Ozzy record Black Rain, “the finest heavy metal album of the year”, in his opinion (obviously he hasn’t heard the Dethalbum), on his “Top 7 Albums of the Year” in this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly. The rest of his picks, admittedly a slim list because “your Uncle Stevie was disappointed with this year’s new music, very disappointed indeed”, are decidedly lukewarm, especially his puss-ass “Steve’s Mix ‘07″, which contains tracks from Avril Lavigne, Dropkick Murphys, James Blunt, and Josh Ritter, whoever those fuckers are.
In addition to Ozzy’s new record, King’s considerations for top 7 albums of ‘07 include the new Wilco, Lyle Lovett, Steve Earle, and John Fogerty releases. However, it’s not King’s southern-tinged choices for strongest full-length recordings of the year that actually piss me off; I think I just simply wanna kick that sorry sonufabitch’s ass. Despite a few really remarkable stories, Stephen King always struck me as kind of a prick in some sense — that shit-eating grin and, you know, demented demeanor just sorta rub me the wrong way.
He might be the master of modern horror, but if I got in the ultimate fighting ring with Senor Spooky, I would tear that fuckin’ bitch apart. I guess when my shoulder fully heals, I’d be willing to beat the shit out of Stephen King. Anyone wanna Don King this one?
With regards to his completely irrelevant top 7 list, some dude named “Greg” commenting on Stereogum.com back on November 30th puts it well with: “Clearly this means Stephen King should lose all of his cred as an authority on music. Oh wait, he never had any, so WHO GIVES A SHIT?”
Agreed.
-KW
NO! I love Stephen King, but…I must admit his picks are kind of questionable. Um, just leave his writing hand in tact.
He does have some metal credentials though – wasn’t one of the Demons & Wizards albums based on the Dark Tower series?
[...] the label. While many lists seem out of date or just plain crazy (let’s not even talk about Stephen King’s), Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy’s list proves not only that he is still very in touch [...]
Is it usually standard practice to hold a 60 year-old writer’s music list to the same standard as a professional music critic or musician?
Why don’t you ask you ask a random metal musician to compile a list of what they feel the best new books are in 2007 and I guarantee you that a room full of snooty New York literary elitists will laugh their asses off at it.