I’D LIKE TO FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH

Monday, December 10th, 2007 at 1:58pm by

Jesus jumpin’ Christ, this band sucks. And not only do they suck, but they seem proud to suck: I haven’t seen a band do the Korn-hop the way they do in this video since about 2002 (you know the Korn-hop: bend over so you look like you have osteoporosis or something, then bounce with the beat).

Also, why does the lead singer have a tear tattooed on his face? In prison, that tat is reserved for murderers. Did he really murder someone? Unless it was with his shitty vocals, I highly doubt it. What a bunch of phonies. Blow me.

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-AR

  • Tom

    pros: the girl in the video is reasonably cute

    cons: everything else, ESPECIALLY the clean vocals, embarassing

    • Justin

      Im sorry but the moment i first saw this band i knew they were good and look at em now there everywhere they are being voted best metal . there different just because they dont play there guitar as fast as they can and scream to the point you cant understand them doesnt mean they arent metal . it seems to me your stuck on something and cant accept something new great rifs good timing good voice great logo for the band the band is great and the bleeding happens to be there softest but i may be trying to convince narrow minded people so ima just stop where im at i like em

    • Sean

      Wow, Seriously? People i admit yes maybe they have a song or two that aren’t awesome but tell me a band that doesn’t have a few songs you don’t agree with (if not all of them). I myself am currently in the armed forces and i have to say anyone in our company that likes metal has at least “No one gets left behind” by these guys. They’re at the very least an average to above average metal band and this shit talking is pathetic. Yes, everyone is entitled to hate but that doesn’t mean you have to make sure every single breathing person knows you hate them just for the sake of hating them. while im at it, they make a HELL of a lot more sense if you’ve been deployed overseas or been in a combat zone, that said enjoy your day.

  • http://www.metalitalia.com morrizz

    The tear tattoo is a symbolic tattoo that is placed underneath one’s eye to create the impression that the individual is crying. This tattoo has multiple, regionally-variant meanings. In prison it is often used to signify that the wearer is a “sissie.” Generally the prisoner is forced to get the tattoo by their “sugar daddy.”

    BWAAAAHAHAHAHA :_D

  • Rick

    Fred Durst’s timeless influence beats on. What a jaunty cap!

  • DeathMetalDave

    Two things that are definitely metal…1) Dreadlocks, 2) Songs about breaking up with your girlfriend.

  • DeathMetalDave

    HA! I meant to say “…definitely NOT metal”, but what I actually wrote made me laugh harder.

  • ERiK

    Can music videos please go away and die. Hey, check out the band pretending to play thier music and try to look cool at different angles… Oh, it’s boring, insert a hot chick or some “morbid” imagery. Oh, that’s boring too. Fuck it, the label paid us our money. Here’s your sweet video for myspace or you tube.

  • Anthony

    The music video is terrible. I did however see them live at Family Values. Make fun of me all you want, but sometimes I’m in the mood for nu-metal. And I bet you guys listened to it back in the day (or still do!) but you’re too chicken to admit it.

  • Joe

    I actually like the music behind the band. I could do away with the vocals, but the way of the fist and salvation have pretty good music behind them. The korn hop is hilarious and will never go away.

  • Matt

    I beleive the chick in the video, as cute as she is, played Christina Applegate’s younger sister in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babbysitter’s Dead.” Yes, I just referenced that movie.

  • http://www.myspace.com/freaksystemband Sammy

    Erik!!! Yes, music videos should go away for good. They are worthless and for people who can only watch a scene for one millisecond before they have to see the next.

  • http://www.IKILLYA.com jasonfromIKILLYA

    Vince and I were clowning on these fools saturday night. what assbags!

  • http://www.hellyeahband.com NYCMetal.com SAM

    GOD DAMNIT DEATHMETALDAVE!!! I kind of liked you till you brought up the dread locks! I’m fuckin metal god damnit! Despite my handicapped dreadlocks.

    If people actually think that this band is metal, then THAT is where you are making the mistake. They are ACTUALLY a shitty hard rock band with a prison bitch singer (thanks morrizz)

    Music videos rock, I love watching em.

    They might go off of TV, but they will live online. You watched it, AND commented. :)

    • chris

      hey i came across this website by mistake and was ashamed at the comments i am seeing because five finger is an awesome band and all you motherfuckers need to shut the fuck up because you obviously dont know good music when you hear it. yeah your probably one of those scream-o /emo bitches.

      • kevin

        I agree chris, five finger is a band metal needs right now.I am so so tired of the scream-o and grizzly voice bullshit.

  • headless

    I always hated overly succesful bands and I can’t turn on the radio without hearing the DJs blabbering about 5FDP day and night (album of 2007 ? fuck that) and now they are #1 cause all the retards are calling in requesting them. Same shit in my school all the fucktards are listening to this shit so I heard the whole album. It’s like Slipknot meets Pantera. Hate them both.

    • chris

      yeah here we go again another retard who doesnt know good music . what are you some gangsta who only likes fucking rap or something. your the fucking retard

  • jonowev

    Listening to their debut album now. The press over here have just started raving about them, but they’re nothing new in the slightest…

  • Johnny

    I don’t think their THAT bad..

  • Motoghost

    I don’t know why Ivan ( that’s the singer’s name) has the tear tattoo. The tattoo of tear’s symbolism has changed a lot since the early to mid 1900s. It can represent the loss of a family member or a friend.

    As for 5FDP, personally I’m love the band.
    To the journalist that wrote this, I ask you check them out live next time they go through the states before you go around thinking that their horrible just because of one music video. If you don’t like them after that, whatever. I’ve met and hung out with band on a personal level and all the guys are veteran Metal musicians. Darrell Roberts(one of the 2 guitar players, the other being Zoltan Bathory) played in WASP for a while. So yes there may be some new Nu- Metal influences, but I like it! So you blow me!

    • 5FDP friend&fan

      ENOUGH said period, well put and very true! For those people whom have nothing better to do than to sit on their computers and waste their time criticizing people who have actually made something out of their lives doing something that they love…yeah who is the real fucken loser? And if you haven’t had the honor and pleasure of actually meeting these guys and hanging out with them, you have no room to talk shit- these are honestly down to earth, funny, and real guys that love what they do, do it very well, and have a huge fan base that they love and appreciate1 So for those that hate this about them, you really hate yourself out of envy! Go FUCK yourself or change what you hate about your own life.

  • jayballer14

    I don’t know why there is such a hatred tword these guys on here, but its quite uncalled for. They are amaizing musicians and are obviously good at what they are doing. If you don’t like the style then wooptie doo.

    • chris

      thank you buddy its nice to see someone on here likes good music

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Did not enjoy their cover of Bad Company at all…disgraces the original and disgraces two guys you really ought not disgrace (for your own safety)…Paul Rodgers and Ned Flanders

    • 5FDP friend&fan

      GO FUCK YOURSELF

      You are a disgrace for wasting your time on something you feel so negatively about, you wouldn’t know good metal if it knocked you upside the head!

  • Artsy

    Thats totally harsh! I am a big fan of 5FDP. Maybe if you took the time get to actually listen to all the music, see their amazing live performances, and experience how awesome the band treats their fans…you would have the respect for 5FDP that they DESERVE!!

  • http://metalsucks FIFTYCAL

    I have been in the trenches with many heavy metal bands that have came and gone. For all those that can listen to this band and think they “suck” then you should be a talent agent for columbia records finding new “pop” talent becuse you dont know great metal bands like FFDP. Do us a favor and just go open up your cd case and play you Justin Timberlake cd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SipRogers

    Hahaha! The comments at the top make me laugh. Sounds like a bunch of wanna be rockstars that are butt hurt over the fact that they’re not half as good as 5FDP. Go back to listening to your Fall Out Boy ya Sally

  • ummmmmmmmm

    my first point: I love both slipknot and pantera, not for their commercial success but their songs. Comparing this mediocre band to them is outrageous!!!shit, their ok but omg they are just bland. It may just be the absolutely boring production, with its flat tones and odd effects, but the singer is boring!also though, the lead riffs are all quite on the album and i think generally they aren’t too technically sound! Much rather listen to chimera if i want heavy stuff with lead guitars, or old a7x.

    Sorry FFDP but you got the shitty production ur label payed for.

  • H.Clown

    I dont like this song, but i actually enjoy some of their music. Zoltan Bathory and Darrell Roberts are great guitarist that deserve their recognition. As for the lead singer he reminds me too much of Chuck Liddell of UFC, I dont really care for his melodies but his harsh vocals are actually good. Oh and DREDS are DEFINITELY HARD CORE KICK ASS METAL!!! so for those of you who dont think so, go choke on a hard donkey D***!!

    OH…and the KORN hop will never die, it kicks ASS FU**ERS!!

  • ThePaleAssMexican

    I Liked Them When They First Came Out, but They Progressively Became Something Softer and Softer. (seriously a screamless version of the bleeding?), The Band Became Too Radio Friendly. And More Importantly They Started Attracting Emo Fans Down Here, You Know It’s Bad When Emos Call It Good. They’re in the Same League as Fall Out Boy Now. WTF? Ivan Pretty Much Can Do Metal, but He Tries So Hard to Soften Each Band He’s In. Motograter was Heavy Hitting and Tough Before He Joined, and Afterwords They Became Something They Weren’t. Ivan Needs to Figure His Shit Out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Lozier/1232687778 Kevin Lozier

    This is corporate metal at it’s ‘finest’.

    Freaking dreadful. The vocals actually made me laugh they were so bad.

  • dWb

    Great guitarist and vocalist but the lyrics are SO whiney and bitchy. The screaming is obnoxious and redundant. I think the vocalist does have an incredible voice though. Dreds, by the way, are disgusting and were meant for dirty hippies and rastafarians.

  • http://n jojo

    They’re about 15 years past due. The band isn’t bad, but the singer is pathetic and boring. The lyrics just suck so much that I’m actually embarrassed for the guy. I don’t see them sticking around for too long. oh yeah and every song sounds the same to me. There isn’t much creativity there at all

  • Kristen

    I just left the Mayham fest and FYI…. 5 Finger death Punch was harder than Korn. I thought they we awesome.

  • Mike

    These guys couldn’t beat their way out of a wet paper bag. WORST BAND EVER. Trailer trash music.

  • Alex

    This band is pathetic. Id put them on the same list as kings of leon, my darkest days, saving able, coldplay, papa roach, buckcherry and the likes as far as sucking. All this band does is take un-original lyrical concepts and do a bad job of plagiarizing them with some triplets and some sweeps. 5fdp’s vocalist is a mediocre screamer and a HORRIBLE singer. I really enjoy listening for terms he STEALS from other authors/lyricists acting as though he is introducing them as his own. “carnival of souls” “its stranger than fiction” “id rather you hate me for everything i am than love me for everything i cant”… the list goes on lol what a douche. maybe if he found a way to hit a note without synthetic help he’d be a better singer, maybe if he grabbed a pen and paper without his big ol’ book of famous quotes and terms he’d write his own lyrics…the rest of the band is severely over processed and play with no heart. 5fdp=plastic. and isn’t the thumb technically not a finger? so is it an inbred hand or the pointer from the other hand or what?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Alan-Roden/100000037111692 Christopher Alan Roden

    I have a teardrop. In prison or jail, if you have lost a loved one while in jail, you don’t fill it in, and is a symbol of respect. If it is filled in with a color, that means your murdered somebody.

  • Punkchik_90

    I think you need to stuff your small mind into your asshole.