FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A FREE RAINTIME CD
Monday, January 14th, 2008 at 5:35pm by MetalSucksCongratulations to “Chriatian666″ who won our most recent funny photo caption contest lampooning a promo shot from VH1’s Rock of Love: Season 2. Chriatian666’s caption was concise, but nailed it: “Three Arses.” Well done — he’ll be getting a package of assorted Century Media goodies.
This week we’re giving away 3 copies of Flies & Lies, the most recent release from Italian epic melodic death metallers Raintime, courtesy of Bieler Bros. Records. Flies & Lies just missed Vince’s 2007 Top 10 list, receiving an honorable mention — it’s truly a must-listen for fans of power metal and melodeath / Gothenburg.
All you have to do is come up with a funny caption for the below photo and post it in the comments section; we’ll sort through the entries and chose the three winners. Don’t forget to include your email address so we can contact the winners. Have fun!
Bach’s weight gain spiralled out of control after the poor sales of his new album
Cannonball and his buddies invented a new genre of metal, Crush metal.
Holy shit! Devin Townsend ate all the members of Crowbar!
Band: McMetal
Song: Invocation Of The SuperSize (Come To Me)
Slaying the audience..one Big Mac at a time
And thus began the triumphant return of Meatloaf
Sam KiniSIN Lives, LIVE!
Tuesday, 3pm
Gymnasium
The DaVinci Choad to hit the road!
Even Meatloaf’s sons high school garage band is more metal than Dani Filth.
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re Avenged Blubberfold, you must be the U.S.A.!!!
Thats it. Everyone back away from the twinkie. NOW!
Son (Daughter) of Grim Reaper.
Vince Neil looked his best in years at the opening date of his “Theatre of Pie” world tour at the Arby’s in Scranton, PA.
COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE !!!
Wolfgang was a more than adequate last-minute fill-in for David Lee.
Following the tragic death of frontman Steve Grimmet, Grim Reaper immediately held tryouts for a new frontman of the same…er…calibur.
I just thought it was a Demon Hunter picture.
Metal Up Your Ass!
I didnt know there was a World of Warcraft convention i wonder if the guys from cannible corpse are there
This is your brain on Guitar Center.
“SEE YOU IN HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!”
some people say that every man thinks about sex every 11 seconds .. well , that was the most not sexiest 11 seconds I ever had
….The competition for the Guns n’ Roses / Sebastian Bach tour support band finally started heating up….
BACK THE FUCK UP RICHARD SIMMONS. I’M TOO METAL FOR YOUR SHIT.
Somebody put a hot dog on this thing!!! RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
“you’ll never take our freedom!”
“fruit salad, yummy, yummy!!!!”
black 213 wins!
GET ME A WHOPPER!!!!
“Axl Rose after going on an eating binge, because he’ll never be as good as he once was” How the fuck does that guy put his shoes on?
“Ladies and Gentleman…we are proud to present Baltimore’s Only Female Sam Kinison Impersonator and her 30 minute rendition of ‘Wild Thing!’”
or….
“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea,
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea,
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea,
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea,
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea……”
Quote# razzo Says:
January 15th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
“Ladies and Gentleman…we are proud to present Baltimore’s Only Female Sam Kinison Impersonator and her 30 minute rendition of ‘Wild Thing!’”
Dude i just blew pepsi out my nose!!!!
“I am Meatloaf Kid, and i am here for the blood of Starwars Kid, shing. . sshh-sshhhing, whoosh, shh-shhshinng”"
Mona Lisa Kicks Ass!!!
“Which lucky lady is gonna blow me tonight? YOU, baby!!!”
“Yngwie Malmsteen unleashes the fucking fury on the crowd at the Willamet Falls High School Battle of the Bands.”
It’s Celebrity Fit Club 666. metal up you LARD ass!!!!
hey dude, let’s check out this band, i heard their vocalist is like Ronnie James Dio, David Coverdale, and Bruce Dickinson combined together, LITERALLY! plus, i heard they’re HUGE in Europe, or something like that?
I thought this isthe sight for the hot dog eating contest.
“That’s it, I’ve had enough. One more request for Weird Al Yankovich’s ‘I’m Fat,’ and we’re storming off the stage.”
I have two: “YOU THERE! Bring me chicken!”
OR
“Six…Six Six…The number of my weight!
Haven’t seen…my cock… in 7,000 days!”
I’m Billy Milano, I’m a bold courageous man…..
“The top story this evening: A crowd of people gathered at a high school talent show were splattered with human entrails when one of the performers suddenly exploded. According to one witness, ‘The boy must have weighed at least 300 pounds. He was screaming and carrying on, having a fit, when all of a sudden a look of the deepest hatred came across his face. He let out a yell and exploded.’
The boy is rumored to be the cousin of Symphony X guitarist Michael Romeo, but further investigation is necessary.”
I’ll swallow your soul, and wash it down with a diet coke…
Thrash Limbo: How low can you GOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
A picture commemorating the spirit of Sarah McLaughlin’s Lillith Fair.
and uh, I totally meant McLachlan. Sorry in advance to any die hard Sarah McLachlan fans that I might have offended here.
Lord of The Rings IV: The Search for Gimli’s Missing Wife
And now, the whale shall spear THEE!
While reenacting the fall of the Roman Empire, the vocalist theorizes that if he takes a white knuckled death grip on his microphone stand and squeezes it with all his strength, his remaining genital electrodes might be forced out his mouth to aid his #1 Wiggles imitation band. After failing, he finally acknowledges an important hint from the Doodlebops; shape up and open a freakin’ popsicle stand!
This is where we fight. This is where they die.
or
WE ARE SPARTA!!!!!!!
“What happened when we told people that we discontinued “The Whopper”?…
…People Freaked the Fuck out!!!”
or…..
“Something Has Found Us….”
(Sorry I can’t stop…)
“Not to draw on an old cliche, but this reporter must state that when this chick rocks around the stage….she really rocks AROUND the stage!!!”
-Nebbish J. Collegenuts
Alternative Press Magazine
After decades of prophecy, metal actually became a guiding force of the galaxy when a young metaller accumulated enough mass to be names the Milky Way’s ninth planet, replacing Pluto. Soon afterwards, however, the Earth began to revolve around this gargantuan, making it, in effect, a moon. Thus, the solar system once again contained eight planets.
True American Fat Metal.
Once quarantined within the Museum of Defaced Artwork, this irreparably corpulent aspiring young vocalist’s acid trip was interrupted by other aspiring young musicians, who, in attempt to improvise along with the singer’s vocals, fell short in their endeavor, as the singer could not seem to utter anything but guttural grunts and snorts. It was later revealed that, during the acid trip, this man didn’t actually think he was a singer, but instead thought himself an orcish civil rights activist, violently persuading (as seen with him thrusting the microphone stand… he thought he was thrusting a sword) his cohorts to march on the White House, disembowel the president, and return his corpse to the Plains of Gorgoroth, wherein a ‘presidential feast’ would concurrently ensue.
What Axl meant is he has been putting the finishing touches on alot of Chinese Chicken… he’s not sure what his album will be called when he finally shits it out.
Kelly Clarkson in 20yrs with Animal backing her up on the drums
“WHERE IS OUR GUITARIST?”
[...] to the winners of our last photo caption contest, which asked you guys to come up with funny captions for the photo at right. You guys came up with [...]
The holy shits!
Live in concert with the #1 hit, “defecation pole”
Metal makes chubby ANGRY
Meatloaf’s younger brother, Meatball Parmigiana, was not as successful in his rock career as his sibling.
OMG!!!!! AXL ROSE HAS EATEN “MEAT LOAF”! AHHHHHHHH……………
High pitched 80’s metal voice: “Come ‘ere Mona Lisa!!! Im’s agonna eat you!!!!”
Mona Lisa voice: “…..ah shit dude. McDonald’s is that way fat fuck!”
or
This guy…..girl……”THING’s” music is so bad that even the Mona Lisa’s face left her frame for the remainder of the show. It’s true, where is her face?