Comments on: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, CALL OFF THE SEARCH: WE HAVE FOUND THE WORST BAND IN METAL TODAY http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/ IS FOR LOVERS Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:01:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: WHY THIS ACAPELLA VERSION OF MESHUGGAH’S “BLEED” IS SUPERIOR TO ANYTHING BY VAN CANTO | MetalSucks http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-407425 WHY THIS ACAPELLA VERSION OF MESHUGGAH’S “BLEED” IS SUPERIOR TO ANYTHING BY VAN CANTO | MetalSucks Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:01:51 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-407425 [...] once declared the acepella metal group Van Canto to be the worst band in metal today, and while I suppose there [...] [...] once declared the acepella metal group Van Canto to be the worst band in metal today, and while I suppose there [...]

]]> By: BREAK IT DOWN NOW, A CAPPELLA STYLE | MetalSucks http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-397018 BREAK IT DOWN NOW, A CAPPELLA STYLE | MetalSucks Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:01:52 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-397018 [...] may think a cappella “metallers” Van Canto are the worst thing to happen to metal since EVER, but I happen to think they’re worthy of at least a chuckle. I mean, think about what must go [...] [...] may think a cappella “metallers” Van Canto are the worst thing to happen to metal since EVER, but I happen to think they’re worthy of at least a chuckle. I mean, think about what must go [...]

]]> By: I LOVE THE SMELL OF FAILURE IN THE MORNING | MetalSucks http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-99973 I LOVE THE SMELL OF FAILURE IN THE MORNING | MetalSucks Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:08:43 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-99973 [...] Canto, who I declared earlier this year to be the worst band in metal today, have released a new video for the song [...] [...] Canto, who I declared earlier this year to be the worst band in metal today, have released a new video for the song [...]

]]> By: NuMallCore Pwns YoMama http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-38640 NuMallCore Pwns YoMama Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:27:47 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-38640 43rd post, Bitches! 43rd post, Bitches!

]]> By: Philcore http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-33595 Philcore Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:59:59 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-33595 Okay, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. It's kinda like the singers of Manowar, Blind Guardian, Nightwish, and what ever other fucking Medieval-Pagan-We're-Viking-Brides-And-Dragon-Slayers-Bands there are were thrown together here and forced to come up with the cheesiest thing they can, gun to their heads. And please don't anyone bother replying to this with that "Dude, the Manowar singer is like fuckin' the best there is in the world you little fucking prick I'll fuck your mama!" or "Blind Guardian isn't Pagan Metal you faggot go die in hell you cunt" shit. That's not what my comment is about. My point being: This sucks ass AND balls yo. Plain terrible. But I cannot stress enough: This is NOT the average German metal band!!!!! :D Not even close... Speaking of which: Go check the new Heaven Shall Burn album. Oh, and to make another thing clear here: I'm not dissing their singing skills or anything, I mean what the hell, they're decent singers already. I just cannot STAND this Princess-in-the-tower-Shit! With or without instruments. Peace! is useless. Okay, I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. It’s kinda like the singers of Manowar, Blind Guardian, Nightwish, and what ever other fucking Medieval-Pagan-We’re-Viking-Brides-And-Dragon-Slayers-Bands there are were thrown together here and forced to come up with the cheesiest thing they can, gun to their heads.
And please don’t anyone bother replying to this with that “Dude, the Manowar singer is like fuckin’ the best there is in the world you little fucking prick I’ll fuck your mama!” or “Blind Guardian isn’t Pagan Metal you faggot go die in hell you cunt” shit. That’s not what my comment is about. My point being: This sucks ass AND balls yo. Plain terrible. But I cannot stress enough: This is NOT the average German metal band!!!!! :D Not even close… Speaking of which: Go check the new Heaven Shall Burn album.
Oh, and to make another thing clear here: I’m not dissing their singing skills or anything, I mean what the hell, they’re decent singers already. I just cannot STAND this Princess-in-the-tower-Shit! With or without instruments.

Peace!
is useless.

]]> By: trator http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-32519 trator Sat, 02 Feb 2008 12:18:46 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-32519 You are really funny! Excuse my bad english, you know I'm one of those stupid dragon-fighter-warrior-king germans.... I tried to count how often you think that van canto members don't have sex that I can't get off the idea that not having sex is the main problem of the author of this blog. See: van canto are just having fun performing metal songs a capella. What's the problem? Ignore them if you don't like it. Germans seem to like it, the band made it to Wacken and is working with the Blind Guardian producer after having existed for exactly 12 months! I saw them live twice and they are great singers. Besides they all play in german metal bands (Jester's funeral, Synasthasia) for more than 12 years. People like you are the real reason why metal was invented. You sound like my grandma: "You are not allowed to do that, nor to do that. Metal is with guitars. It has always been. Blablabla" You should all listen to jazz because there you can analyze every single tone and compare it to your "How to play jazz correctly"-Book. You are really funny! Excuse my bad english, you know I’m one of those stupid dragon-fighter-warrior-king germans….
I tried to count how often you think that van canto members don’t have sex that I can’t get off the idea that not having sex is the main problem of the author of this blog.

See: van canto are just having fun performing metal songs a capella. What’s the problem? Ignore them if you don’t like it. Germans seem to like it, the band made it to Wacken and is working with the Blind Guardian producer after having existed for exactly 12 months! I saw them live twice and they are great singers. Besides they all play in german metal bands (Jester’s funeral, Synasthasia) for more than 12 years.

People like you are the real reason why metal was invented. You sound like my grandma: “You are not allowed to do that, nor to do that. Metal is with guitars. It has always been. Blablabla” You should all listen to jazz because there you can analyze every single tone and compare it to your “How to play jazz correctly”-Book.

]]> By: Seth http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-32349 Seth Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:39:57 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-32349 obviously using guitars and amps and metal machinery is not the only component of being a metal band, but I believe it to be one neccessary component. When the forefathers of metal created the music that would later spawn the genre and define what it is, the biggest difference was heaviness. Black Sabbath detuned their guitars and created a new sound, for example. Metal has evolved and now encompasses a variety of sounds, so sure Brian, by your definition Van Canto is metal, they perform metal songs using an a capella style. However, if you are going to take a genre and perform it, removing the most integral part of the sound, your band is missing the boat. obviously using guitars and amps and metal machinery is not the only component of being a metal band, but I believe it to be one neccessary component. When the forefathers of metal created the music that would later spawn the genre and define what it is, the biggest difference was heaviness. Black Sabbath detuned their guitars and created a new sound, for example. Metal has evolved and now encompasses a variety of sounds, so sure Brian, by your definition Van Canto is metal, they perform metal songs using an a capella style. However, if you are going to take a genre and perform it, removing the most integral part of the sound, your band is missing the boat.

]]> By: Brian in Brooklyn http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-32095 Brian in Brooklyn Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:10:07 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-32095 Ugh. I have a horrible taste in my mouth from having gotten involved in a debate over being "metal", but I'm going to continue my defense of Van Canto. Dude Manbro, I wouldn't rely on non-metalheads as judges. They probably think a lot of things in metal that you and I love are stupid. Let's face it, cheesiness is a part of metal, and a lot of people can't get past corpse paint or song titles like "Fuck Your Mother/Rape Your Dog" enough to pay attention to the music. John D., I admit that hearing the word "battery" over and over or "The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh" is pretty irritating, but it's a trifling reason to write off a band while claiming to be open-minded. This is how a capella works. I'd prefer that they stick to singing meaningless syllables like "doo doo", "la la", or even "do re mi fa so la ti da" when not singing lyrics, but I'm guessing someone out there will think that sounds too silly or "gay" to be metal. At least they seem to limit saying song and band names over and over to cover songs. Seth, according to you, something with "a focus on heavy metal rhythyms [sic] and style" is not necessarily metal (sounds pretty metal to me), but simply having guitars and big amps is metal because it uses "heavy metallic machinery". This boils down to saying that using loud amps is metal regardless of the music you play. I don't think I could possibly disagree more with your overly literal definition of metal that seems to have very little to do with the music itself. Remember that Van Canto does use amps, with distorted mics instead of distorted guitars. Keeping that in mind, where does your logic lead? Do you really think that when the many subgenres of metal formed, people were thinking of machinery? One last point. Seth is right that a capella is not metal. That's because they are two incomparable things: metal is a genre of music and a capella is a way of performing a style of music. Saying this is like saying the spread offense is not football or C++ is not an OS. I say a capella metal is metal, and I think it's naive to ignore its plausibility. Maybe I can more easily overlook some things because I'm a drummer, drumming is my primary focus in metal, and the drumming is the one thing that is unchanged. Ugh. I have a horrible taste in my mouth from having gotten involved in a debate over being “metal”, but I’m going to continue my defense of Van Canto.

Dude Manbro, I wouldn’t rely on non-metalheads as judges. They probably think a lot of things in metal that you and I love are stupid. Let’s face it, cheesiness is a part of metal, and a lot of people can’t get past corpse paint or song titles like “Fuck Your Mother/Rape Your Dog” enough to pay attention to the music.

John D., I admit that hearing the word “battery” over and over or “The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh” is pretty irritating, but it’s a trifling reason to write off a band while claiming to be open-minded. This is how a capella works. I’d prefer that they stick to singing meaningless syllables like “doo doo”, “la la”, or even “do re mi fa so la ti da” when not singing lyrics, but I’m guessing someone out there will think that sounds too silly or “gay” to be metal. At least they seem to limit saying song and band names over and over to cover songs.

Seth, according to you, something with “a focus on heavy metal rhythyms [sic] and style” is not necessarily metal (sounds pretty metal to me), but simply having guitars and big amps is metal because it uses “heavy metallic machinery”. This boils down to saying that using loud amps is metal regardless of the music you play. I don’t think I could possibly disagree more with your overly literal definition of metal that seems to have very little to do with the music itself. Remember that Van Canto does use amps, with distorted mics instead of distorted guitars. Keeping that in mind, where does your logic lead? Do you really think that when the many subgenres of metal formed, people were thinking of machinery?

One last point. Seth is right that a capella is not metal. That’s because they are two incomparable things: metal is a genre of music and a capella is a way of performing a style of music. Saying this is like saying the spread offense is not football or C++ is not an OS. I say a capella metal is metal, and I think it’s naive to ignore its plausibility. Maybe I can more easily overlook some things because I’m a drummer, drumming is my primary focus in metal, and the drumming is the one thing that is unchanged.

]]> By: Seth http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-32055 Seth Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:02:41 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-32055 Gotta go with The DUDE on this one--A Capella is not metal. I don't like Acapella, at all. I think its stupid and just doesnt sound good to me. That being said, even if i liked a capella, I would say its lame that this band is trying to claim they are metal. For those of you who have forgotten, METAL comes from the term HEAVY METAL, which would imply that some sort of heavy metallic machinery is used in the creation of this music. In practical application, this machinery is electric guitars and big ass amplifiers. If Van Canto wants to classify themselves as "A capella with a focus on heavy metal rhythyms and style", im ok with that--but dont go off trying to label yourself as a "heavy metal experience", cause YOU ARE NOT a heavy metal experience. PS - you are all horny bastards. By droolin over this chick you are buying into this band as metal, because it is rare to see a hot chick in metal--howevr, this band is a capella, and there are many hot chicks in a capella, so big whoop. Gotta go with The DUDE on this one–A Capella is not metal. I don’t like Acapella, at all. I think its stupid and just doesnt sound good to me. That being said, even if i liked a capella, I would say its lame that this band is trying to claim they are metal. For those of you who have forgotten, METAL comes from the term HEAVY METAL, which would imply that some sort of heavy metallic machinery is used in the creation of this music. In practical application, this machinery is electric guitars and big ass amplifiers. If Van Canto wants to classify themselves as “A capella with a focus on heavy metal rhythyms and style”, im ok with that–but dont go off trying to label yourself as a “heavy metal experience”, cause YOU ARE NOT a heavy metal experience.

PS – you are all horny bastards. By droolin over this chick you are buying into this band as metal, because it is rare to see a hot chick in metal–howevr, this band is a capella, and there are many hot chicks in a capella, so big whoop.

]]> By: John D. http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31759 John D. Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:23:38 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31759 People, people. Look. I read the post and wanted to defend these guys too. A capella power metal? Not actually a bad idea in concept - it'd still be silly if you found power metal silly, which many of us do, but it could be decent power metal. I like hearing well-sung harmonies, I was ready not to hate. However, if you go watch the cover of "The Trooper," these guys embellish their rendition by singing "The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh." Not just once, but many times. This pretty much ends any arguments about closed-minded metal dudes. You do not have be open-minded about "The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh." It would actually be wrong to be open-minded about something like that. People, people. Look. I read the post and wanted to defend these guys too. A capella power metal? Not actually a bad idea in concept – it’d still be silly if you found power metal silly, which many of us do, but it could be decent power metal. I like hearing well-sung harmonies, I was ready not to hate.

However, if you go watch the cover of “The Trooper,” these guys embellish their rendition by singing “The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh.” Not just once, but many times. This pretty much ends any arguments about closed-minded metal dudes. You do not have be open-minded about “The Troopah Iron-uh Maiden-uh.” It would actually be wrong to be open-minded about something like that.

]]> By: Dude Manbro http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31742 Dude Manbro Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:27:11 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31742 The beautiful thing about the Internet is there's always someone willing to play devil's advocate. No matter what it is or how stupid it may be, someone will defend it online. God Bless The Internet. IMO no guitar = not metal. It's like trying to make an authentic Italian dinner without somehow involving tomatoes along the way, not possible. No denying it might be "something", but without amplified guitars it ain't metal. At least as far as I am concerned, I'm not goofing on Van Canto because they're different or because I'm narrow-minded. I'm goofing on them because they're a goof. Just as a point of reference, I passed the link along to a few friends who have no interest in anything "metal" and they found it just as stupid as anyone else here did. So it really isn't about metal-head elitism or snobbery either, it's about how stupid this Van Canto is. It's all in good fun & that broad really isn't bad at all, she should go solo and/or topless. The beautiful thing about the Internet is there’s always someone willing to play devil’s advocate. No matter what it is or how stupid it may be, someone will defend it online. God Bless The Internet.

IMO no guitar = not metal. It’s like trying to make an authentic Italian dinner without somehow involving tomatoes along the way, not possible. No denying it might be “something”, but without amplified guitars it ain’t metal.

At least as far as I am concerned, I’m not goofing on Van Canto because they’re different or because I’m narrow-minded. I’m goofing on them because they’re a goof. Just as a point of reference, I passed the link along to a few friends who have no interest in anything “metal” and they found it just as stupid as anyone else here did. So it really isn’t about metal-head elitism or snobbery either, it’s about how stupid this Van Canto is. It’s all in good fun & that broad really isn’t bad at all, she should go solo and/or topless.

]]> By: BLACK213 http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31736 BLACK213 Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:49:35 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31736 God Damnit what the FUCK, the chick never got naked. God Damnit what the FUCK, the chick never got naked.

]]> By: NuMallCore Pwns YoMama http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31730 NuMallCore Pwns YoMama Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:13:19 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31730 I don't mind power metal. This isn't power metal. This just sounds silly to my ears. Do I think they're having a good time? Yeah. Hell, I'd be willing to check out one of their shows if I had a few beers in me. The've got great voices and a great drummer, but I just can't call this metal. If they were to come back with a band and use their great voices to sing, I think we'd all be singing a different tune. This sounds more like a Broadway musical to me. My $.02. I don’t mind power metal. This isn’t power metal. This just sounds silly to my ears.

Do I think they’re having a good time? Yeah. Hell, I’d be willing to check out one of their shows if I had a few beers in me.

The’ve got great voices and a great drummer, but I just can’t call this metal. If they were to come back with a band and use their great voices to sing, I think we’d all be singing a different tune. This sounds more like a Broadway musical to me.

My $.02.

]]> By: Rob http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31724 Rob Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:43:11 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31724 I kind of agree with Sammy and Brian, but I would have to say: Different does not equal good. I'm all for experimentation, but just because these guys are doing something outside the box doesn't mean they should. This is like Enya with dudes and drums... and an Iron Maiden cover. I kind of agree with Sammy and Brian, but I would have to say: Different does not equal good. I’m all for experimentation, but just because these guys are doing something outside the box doesn’t mean they should. This is like Enya with dudes and drums… and an Iron Maiden cover.

]]> By: akerfeldt http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31722 akerfeldt Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:36:20 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31722 It seems no one appreciates power metal anymore. If you guys were open minded enough to realize that metal can be much more diverse than simply bands with two guitars, a bass, drums and a singer the world would be a better place. Sure, the lyrics are cheesy, but it IS power metal. All in all, if you gave the Van Canto cd a listen and weren't trying to be the cool kid who hates the gay looking german guys you would realize that they are actually very good at what they do, and it is a really progressive idea. I can say with 100% certainty that they have more talent that most of the mallcore bullshit that gets posted about on this site... It seems no one appreciates power metal anymore. If you guys were open minded enough to realize that metal can be much more diverse than simply bands with two guitars, a bass, drums and a singer the world would be a better place. Sure, the lyrics are cheesy, but it IS power metal.

All in all, if you gave the Van Canto cd a listen and weren’t trying to be the cool kid who hates the gay looking german guys you would realize that they are actually very good at what they do, and it is a really progressive idea. I can say with 100% certainty that they have more talent that most of the mallcore bullshit that gets posted about on this site…

]]> By: scottymack http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31708 scottymack Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:09:17 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31708 Christian Rock Band???!!! Christian Rock Band???!!!

]]> By: Hoggillbot http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31671 Hoggillbot Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:40:28 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31671 All they need is a gimmick!!! All they need is a gimmick!!!

]]> By: Sammy http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31639 Sammy Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:28:41 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31639 As much as I do hate this "band", I find myself agreeing with Brooklyn Brian regarding his thesis on the narrowmindedness of metalheads here and everywhere. As much as I do hate this “band”, I find myself agreeing with Brooklyn Brian regarding his thesis on the narrowmindedness of metalheads here and everywhere.

]]> By: The Pig In Zen http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31620 The Pig In Zen Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:36:12 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31620 You're right Brian, but that doesn't make this band any less awful. You’re right Brian, but that doesn’t make this band any less awful.

]]> By: Brian in Brooklyn http://www.metalsucks.net/2008/01/28/ladies-and-gentleman-call-off-the-search-we-have-found-the-worst-band-in-metal-today/#comment-31612 Brian in Brooklyn Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:15:53 +0000 http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=4109#comment-31612 Wow, I'm disappointed by all the haters in this thread. Metal has evolved past just heavy distortion and aggressive vocals. To me, metal is not strictly about instrumentation, but rather it's about virtuosity and pushing limits in combination with aggression. These guys lack aggression, but they capture other fundamental elements of metal, and therein lies their brilliance. It seems to me that a lot of you only appreciate a narrow band in the metal spectrum. Maybe if they all carried 6' swords you could more comfortably label them as power metal sans guitars? I wouldn't trade a "real" metal band for these guys, but they have their place in the metal world. P.S. The drummer kicks ass. Wow, I’m disappointed by all the haters in this thread. Metal has evolved past just heavy distortion and aggressive vocals. To me, metal is not strictly about instrumentation, but rather it’s about virtuosity and pushing limits in combination with aggression. These guys lack aggression, but they capture other fundamental elements of metal, and therein lies their brilliance. It seems to me that a lot of you only appreciate a narrow band in the metal spectrum. Maybe if they all carried 6′ swords you could more comfortably label them as power metal sans guitars? I wouldn’t trade a “real” metal band for these guys, but they have their place in the metal world.

P.S. The drummer kicks ass.

]]>