PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN AN ULTRA-RARE SIKTH EP + FULL CD!!
Friday, February 1st, 2008 at 4:55pm by MetalSucks
Congrats to the winners of our last photo caption contest, which asked you guys to come up with funny captions for the photo at right. You guys came up with some hilarious entries that had us spewing our whiskey all over our keyboards, but these are the three lucky winners who will be receiving a copy of Raintime’s Flies & Lies in the mail:
- DudeManbro: “Wolfgang was a more than adequate last-minute fill-in for David Lee.”
- LandoGriffin: “Vince Neil looked his best in years at the opening date of his “Theatre of Pie” world tour at the Arby’s in Scranton, PA.”
- d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.: “Holy shit! Devin Townsend ate all the members of Crowbar!”
Boy oh boy do we have a great prize package for you guys this week. The good folks at Bieler Bros. Records have given us FIVE prize packages to give away, each containing 2 CDs: Sikth’s critically acclaimed album (and MetalSucks proverbial wet dream) Death of a Dead Day and their ultra-rare, limited run EP Flogging the Horses. If you don’t know about this band, know about them pronto. All you have to do to win is come up with a funny caption to the below photo and remember to include your email address in the email form. Good luck!
After a lifetime of training and practice, Singh was finally ready to leave his wife and family behind and shove his guitar directly up Blaze Bayley’s ass.
email: blueskadoo@rock.com
After spending the last 50 years trying to be Metallica, Dave Mustaine has finally moved on to Plan B.
cooperaa at gmail com
Iron Maiden announced that Eddie himself has finally decided to join them on tour. Female ticket sales have shot up one billion percent since the elusive mascot tour deal was announced. When asked to comment on his new appearance, this female fan said “Boy, he sure looks different with a beard. Well, maybe not that different, but a little”. When asked to respond, Eddie simply said “BRAINS”
Even the Amish will say “Fuck Jebus” when Iron Maiden comes to town.
ar318307@ohio.edu
Even at this stage of his career, James Hetfield is still quite the chick-magnet.
After much prodding from his female fans, Sergeyev sets out to the frozen northern lands, armed only with his trusty axe, to vanquish all metal posers once and for all and claim the throne of Metaldom for Mother Russia.
cerberus7@gmail.com
God damnit woman you know I love you but you gotta hell of a lot to learn about rock and roll, now get your hand outta my ass and hand me my teeth.
If Bruce Dickinson was asked to modernize “American Gothic”….
Woman: “Axl, when will Chinese Democracy come out?”
Honey, we just got done running the hills, now let’s find that number for the beast.
Goddammit Alice, git yer hands off me some Jackass challenged me to a shred off. I’m a gonna go OLD SCHOOL on his ass!!!!
After a whole lifetime of kicking our asses…Matt Heafy is STILL on his crusade to prove that Trivium is NOT poser metal…
ar318307@ohio.edu
Rock of Love 65 – New Season!
Bret reveals his wedding photo, the details of his sex change and his secret marriage to CC DeVille. Don’t miss Bret’s secrets on how he uses Preparation H to enhance their sex life and how sharing Depends is the secret to a long lasting marriage.
We see the first immergence of metal in the slave days of yore, with the band “Uncle Tom and the Cabin Bunch.” The band had a short lived success, and fizzeled out after the demise of leadsinger/songwritter/lead guitarist Uncle Tom. Although the other band memebers tried to replace him, they eventually found themselves as extras for “Roots.”
“Beatrice, those emo scallywags have bewitched our crop for the last time.”
“In Soviet Russia, the metal owns YOU!”
this is what I am going to look like when guns and roses release chinese democracy!!!!!!!
“The chicks dig dudes who know how to handle a guitar.”
tigereye8@hotmail.com
After rising to huge success at the age of only ten the front man of legendary metal band “M.E.T.A.L grandfather” decided to leave the band after only a year, a year that had seen his excesses in drugs and pratying turn him into an ugly old withered man, this was the last photo taken of him with an equally ravaged groupie of the band before he left to fufil his dreams of being a hermit in alabama.
it was said in a statement by the bands manager that “they regretted taking the two lifesize wax work dummies from the Arkansas museum of history and that dressing the wax work of “Jacob williamson” up in the lead guitarists clothes was, although amusing at the time, not appropriate and an insult to the memory of the great man.
Whether or not the band were under the influence of any substance at the time is unclear but a substantial amount of horse tranquiliser was found on the wax work’s person in the lead singers jacket pocket, he denies any knowledge of the incident.
When Mavis asked her husband to get an axe to chop wood with, she was not happy with what he returned with…
Even at 85, Ted Nugent still goes for the “younger broads.”
Muthafukkanerger!
[...] to the winners of our most recent photo caption contest; you each will receive a copy of Sikth’s Death of a Dead Day and rare Flogging the Horses EP [...]
borrow me your plate, so I’ll sing and you’ll give me a damn good blowjob
ilmorris at tin.it