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Editorials

GENE SIMMONS MAKES LOVE WITH HIS SHIRT ON

 Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 at 2:08pm by

Dude. I wanna see a Gene Simmons sex tape like I wanna hafta look at Goatse ever again, y’know? But allegedly there’s a tape of him going at it with some “model” no one has ever actually heard of is floating around out there. You can see a small, not very interesting still of it in the photo here, or you can actually watch it for about ten bucks.

Now, obviously, The Artist Formerly Known as Chaim Witz leaked this video himself – in fact, I have to seriously question the intelligence of anyone who thinks that Simmons is not getting a piece of this action. If he gets people to pay ten bucks for this thing, it’ll be the first piece of merchandising to actually make me wish for a worldwide plague since the Kiss Kasket.

kasket.jpg

-AR

  • http://www.thedeciblog.com nick

    Gene Simmons, Wes Borland, Matt Sorum, Trent Reznor — are you guys making a Microsoft-on-Yahoo! bid for a hostile takeover of Blabbermouth’s readership?

    Oh, and: MESHUGGAH!!!!!

  • Sammy

    You had to reference Goatse, didn’t you? It’s mid-day here on the West Coast, meaning I read that and then remembered exactly who/what that references, whilst eating. Look guys, I’m not trying to lose weight.

  • Dude Manbro

    There’s nothing Gene wouldn’t do to make a dollar, witness the 12 greatest hits albums Kiss has released in the last decade, all containing basically the same songs. To his credit at least he doesn’t try to hide his money-grubbing ways.

  • Paul Stanley

    Dude paid her. Everybody knows bassists never get fellated. All these years Gene has been spouting a bunch of lies.

  • whatwhy

    just thinking about that ugly fuck gene in his birthday suit makes me wanna puke