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What the fuck??

NICKELBACK’S CHAD KROGER SUCKED HIS OWN DICK. REALLY.

 Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 3:58pm by

Chad KroegerEven though Nickelback’s success has pretty much singlehandedly funded tons of money-losing releases by my favorite bands on Roadrunner Records, this kind of pot-shot journalism is still irresistible [from The Sun, via Idolator]. In a recent interview with Playboy, the curley-locked Nickelback frontman revealed the time he got down with his short and curlies:

“I put my own dick in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time.

It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer.”

Wow. This is how you remind me of how much you really suck… dick.

-VN

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  • Sammy

    Yeah, like any guy wouldn’t if he could.

    • DORK4

      YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!

  • ocsibrm

    Like every guy hasn’t tried at one point or another. Shit, it’s cheaper than a girlfriend.

  • Kye

    And that’s what happens when you drink when you’re 14

  • Kye

    Someday…somehow
    Chad Kroger sucked his dick

  • Jim

    Everybodys tried, no big deal.

    But I call shenanigans on him making it, due to the fact that his whole being is composed of dick, and thus cannot be sucked.

  • The Pig In Zen

    Cue a cry of “Nickelback are so fucking awful, they suck their own dick!” reverberating from anyone with a decent taste of music across the country.. and Canada!

  • Brett

    I’ve been telling people this for years. He’ll do anything for a buck. Or a beer.

  • http://www.myspace.com/porkspam Porkpsam

    To all you people that say you would if you could, think about it for a second. Honestly… let’s pretend you could bend down and suck your own cock… would you give yourself a blow job? really suck yourself till you blow a load (not the metallica cd) in your mouth or wherever? ISn’t that kinda, well gay? I mean jerking yourself off is one thing, putting your dick in your mouth is another. I mean shit, would you lick your own asshole if you could? I could understand trying it out maybe once or twice to see, but i don’t think given the opportunity, anybody would give themselves a blow job on a consistant basis.

    • DORK4

      I FEEL YOU’RE WRONG, DUDE

  • nrich

    The Metallica joke was a jab of shame.

  • Sammy

    Methinks Porkspam doth protest a little too much. C’mon boy, out of the closet you cum.

    • DORK4

      AHH, YOU QUOTE SHAKESPEAR, EH?

  • 36Thoughtless

    I can honestly say that I never tried, and it really weirds me out when people say that every guy has.

  • http://www.myspace.com/porkspam Porkpsam

    Alright sammy you got me. through years of consistant yoga practice (and the blessing of a long penis) i am able to suck my own dick.. all was fine and dandy till the day my mom walked in on me sucking myself off. needless to say, i think living on my own now has taught me valuable life lessons and made me a better self reliant man.

  • http://DarkTwinCities.com devil

    Why would anyone even bring this up? I don’t want to know. I don’t care who it is. Can we please just not discuss guys sucking their own dicks?

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    I just threw up in my mouth a lot.

    • DORK4

      FUNNY

  • http://www.dirtbagmusic.com/DBCREWMARY scary mary

    i knew he sucked and i was right HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • sowhat

    i always knew he was a cocksucker

  • Anthony

    I think the real question we’re ignoring here is did he swallow?

    • DORK4

      FUNNY, LOL

  • Muttweiler

    If you could or had sucked your own cock WHY WOULD YOU ADMIT IT TO ANYONE??? Good lord.

  • DORK4

    MY WILLIE’S TOO SHORT, LOL

  • rinrael

    why on earth are you telling that

  • Jim

    To all those who said “ANY GUY” would do the same……speak for yourself you self confessed self cock sucking muthafucker.

    • Justin

      Id do it but im not flexible enough, and my dick is average size you need an above average size usually. Mabeye if i did some yoga.

  • kevin stratton

    y would u even do that all you had to do was take your dads money and have some won by u a beer im a boy and would never do that

  • kevin stratton

    the force tells yoda to tell me u are gay dead truth darth vater knows what you did