WHAT THE FUCK COULD A “COLOSSAL ANNOUNCEMENT” FROM MOTLEY CRUE POSSIBLY BE?
Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 8:52am by Axl Rosenberg 
So Blabbermouth reports that Motley Crue will make a “colossal announcement” in LA on April 15. As far this band is concerned, only two things could qualify as a “colossal announcement” as this point:
- All four band members will commit suicide on live t.v.
- The long awaited boxing match between Vince Neil and Axl Rose is finally happening.
More than likely, though, the band is just announcing another tour on which Vince Neil will be fat and winded, Tommy Lee will act like a moron, Nikki Sixx will discover the hard way that there are still STDs he hasn’t yet contracted, and Mick Mars will be unable to move.
-AR
WHO THE FUCK COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT A “COLOSSAL ANNOUNCEMENT” FROM MOTLEY CRUE ?
1. All four band members will commit suicide on live t.v.
2. The long awaited boxing match between Vince Neil and Axl Rose is finally happening.
3. They will announce that they really all just fags & will retire from the music business . Announce plans to open a sexy lingerie store exclusively for men…
Maybe they will play a gig for those people that wait in line at the post office at midnight on April 15th waiting to get their taxes postmarked.
I think you’re right, it’s probably a tour announcement, but perhaps their use of the word “colossal” means it will be an interesting bill. Or maybe they’ll announce that they’re doing Rocklahoma officially, even though everyone already knows it.
Or, God willing ,they’ll shed some damn light on The Dirt movie. Hopefully the great Larry Charles is still directing that one. If so, it could be a great movie. Not a guilty pleasure, mind you, but a great movie.
Talk about a story that makes its own jokes.
“and Mick Mars will be unable to move”
low blow.
I’ve got my fingers crossed hoping for number 1. But if it is 1, it will likely be on a channel I don’t get.
Just read on SMNNews.com that Papa Roach is another possible band on this rumored MC/Buckcherry outing. This tour is a pube away from adding Hinder, I can feel it.
3) Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson, Vince Neil & Janine will now do a group sex tape.
It is the only interesting thing they’ve done in the last 20 years after all.