I’ve really never understood Tracii Guns’ incessant need to publicly express regret over quitting Guns N’ Roses in 1985, well before that band had a record contract or written most of the material for Appetite for Destruction. It would be like Richard Gere bitching and moaning about his decision to drop out of the John McClane role in Die Hard; it’s just foolish to think that Bruce Willis’ interpretations of that character had nothing to do with the box office success of that franchise. Dave Mustaine might have a legitimate reason to believe he could be rolling naked in dough, since material he wrote for Metallica appeared on both Kill ‘Em All and Ride the Lightning, but there’s nothing in the L.A. Guns’ repertoire to suggest that GN’R still would have become the biggest band in the world sans Slash. And yet it was just a couple of years ago that Guns admitted he had recently emailed Axl Rose to offer his services in the new GN’R. Sheesh.

This bizarre, completely unwarranted sense of regret must be what led Guns to leave his only recently reunited L.A. Guns to form Brides of Destruction with Nikki Sixx; but then Sixx, who is as guilty as Guns of only doin’ it for the payday, split to go make some real moolah with Motley Crue, and Guns was left holding the bag (Note to Guns: if it’s the 21st century and your lead singer’s name is “London LeGrand,” your band is going nowhere fast.). So now Guns had to scramble to find a way back into L.A. Guns and rather than just kiss up and make nice with Phil Lewis (who had replaced Guns with some dude named, I shit you not, Stacey Blades), he allowed vocalist Paul Black to live out his own path-not-chosen fantasy and start a new “old” L.A. Guns. And so while there wasn’t really a demand for one L.A. Guns post-1992ish, now we actually have two L.A. Guns.

So Tracii’s version of the band is recording a new album, with Steve Thompson producing. Thompson, in case you didn’t know, is most famous for… wait for it… mixing Appetite for Destruction.

Yeah. Cause now Tracii’ll sell 16 million records.

Below, enjoy Brides of Destruction performing “Shut the Fuck Up” – some advice Tracii would do well to heed – on Jay Leno. LeGrand’s shouting “Shut the Uh Up” because he couldn’t say “fuck” on television is hysterical, if for no other reason than because it shows that the band didn’t even have the common sense to release a first single that did not prominently feature a swear word in its title.

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Gosh, I wonder where this band went wrong?

-AR