FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN METAL BLADE RELEASES FROM SHAI HULUD AND ALETHEIAN
Thursday, May 29th, 2008 at 5:48pm by MetalSucks
Congratulations to the winners of last week’s Funny Photo Caption Contest; you’ll each be receiving a copy of Another Black Day’s self-titled debut in the mail for coming up with a funny caption to the photo at right. The winners are:
- Oh Yeah?: “Wes Borland finally decides to release a solo album… ‘Live from Ibiza!!’”
- FLmetal: “A sneak peek at David Draiman’s new “METAL” clothing line.”
- Christopher: “Man with lack of ethnic background compensates with dark clothing and unrealistic ambitions.”
- Murderface Rapes your mother and then: “Lou Perlman’s decided to go in a completely different direction since his sentencing.”
- Strapping Young Lad: “Slipknot FINALLY unveils their new costumes for their upcoming album!!”
Congratulations. This week we have a package from Metal Blade Records to give away, featuring the brand new Shai Hulud CD Misanthropy Pure and Aletheian’s recent release Dying Vine. All you have to do to win is come up with a funny caption to the below photo and post it in the comments section. Good luck!
I don’t really have a quote, but I do hope that fucking jingoist nitwit gets hit by a bus.
Quote, caption, whatever.
rob zombie before his lyposuction
This is a photo composite of the typical Metal Sucks reader.
The secret government project to produce a genetic supermutant by splicing Ted Nugent’s DNA with Ann Coulter’s produced this being known as Superdouche. However, it still felt short of the targeted level of doucheiosity, which was believed to be in the Gene Simmons range.
This is what you get when Josey Scott and David Draiman reproduce together.
Karl Rove was always fat but he didn’t always wear a suit. Stay tuned to see the Rove America wants to know.
so this is what happend to Bret Michaels after he got dumbed by amber
AMERICA!!! FUCK… no
The Spokesman For The “Pride Is Gay” Parade
In my American dreams, my penis is THIS big.
Holy shit is that the dude from the painting in the ghostbuster’s movie. I’m glad he finally found a child to posses
Gay America – Stand up and be proud. – Metal Sucks? So Does he!
In a hope to raise approval ratings George Bush has appointed this man as chief of staff. Unfortunately the entire staff was found later that night piss drunk at a Poison reunion concert.
Our American version of Alexi Laiho.
Greek Ringo, lead vocalist of Ameritallica, throws his horns for John McCain. Look for him signing flags and guns at a convention near you…
I hope the camera doesn’t catch the piss stain… DAAAANNNNNZZZZZIIIIIGGGGGhuaaaaaaavomit.
In a christian nation, Satan has shown his true self; A middle aged guy who still believes Rainbow will re-unite.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan giving his best metal salute.
Hellyeah, California finally legalized gay marriage. Pride Metal!!!
“to all my fellow Americans…. fuck you!!!!”
Bruce Springsteen ain’t got shit on me! I’m born in the USA, born to melt your fuckin’ face off, and I’m The Boss, bitch!
Throw some horns up for USA, motherfucker!
Kid Rock called and he wants his American flag back.
John Schaffer should take this guy for a new Iced Earth member.
Nothing says heavy metal like teal rings and necklaces to go with your black band T and shades.
Dog The Bounty Hunter demands that Slayer do a cover of the Star Spangled Banner
Much to George Washington’s chagrin, his troops urged him not to unveil his ‘new’ flag as the British soldiers approached.
Welcome to tonights episode of Where Are They Now? Tonight we talk to Vigo from Ghostbusters 2.
THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. NOT ONE OF THOSE FROM THE LAST CAPTION WERE FUNNY. YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING IDIOTS!
THIS GUY ISNT EVEN FROM AMERICA! HES PROB FROM SOME SHITHOLE COUNTRY IN CENTRAL AMERICA
“So that’s what Sammy, the fuckhead commentor on Metalsucks looks like?? He said he was a pretty boy. Better not see that fucker making fun of Vince Neil again!”
Ray P, i agree. my quote sucked. BUT I WON A FREE CD MOTHA FUCKA SO WHOS LAUGHING NOW?!???!? EAT MY SHIT U JACKASS!!! as for a quote for this pic…. i got nuttin’.
America: Keeping Keychain wallets and inbreeding cool since 1984!
Look mom, I’m trying to poop in front of the camera
Ray P, hard to believe but you’ve got inbred fuckers in the states too.
America – Ain’t nothin but a good time, baby! All you third world countries can press your forehead to my massive belt buckle!
So what makes Mitch Mendoza your best pick for president?
two words……..Fuckin Obituary Dude
After this photo was taken he was melted and sold as scrap metal.
See where I hold my hands? That’s were my titties used to be
The Latino Mr. T
Stevie Rachelle debuts his “tough-guy” look in front of the troops ….
Britney Spears happy and confident after sex-change and looking forward to the upcoming tour as the new Velvet Revolver singer.
I had a choice to either buy a Hot Topic wallet chain or a Harley. As you can tell, my wallet chain makes me WAY MORE METAL!
This is John Rivers, reporting live from the brown carpet at the 12th annual Alabama Acadamy awards. It’s soooo packed, you can’t even park your camaro.
After cashing yet another huge ass Hannah Montana royalty check, Billy Ray Cyrus is embarking on the Trailerpark Tornado Across America Tour. Being that he is the only performer who has enough money for gas enormous crowds are expected.
What’re you looking at, fag? Yeah, it’s jewelry, but it’s not that kind of jewelry. Horns up, homo, this one’s for ‘Merica. The “A” is for communists.
Fred Durst dressing up as Kid Rock
Ray P, maybes you should takes the cocks out of your mouths and try to bes a litte more funnys with your words, instead of your faces.
You sucks. Sucks big donkeys balls.
I..Am…an American Fat-Ass
This the group shot of the entire Chickenfoot fan club.
From the US Army Website:
Previous recruitment campaigns targeted at the mentally retarded have historically proved exceptionally effective thanks to Ozzfest.
America is a melting pot. There’s room for everything — hip-hop bling, hillbilly belt buckles, metal hair, and gay pride — all on the same person.
“You can bet your ass it hurts when I fistfuck. You want to try anyway ? Ok, bend over, Vince”
America the “not so” beautiful
Welcome to the GuitarCenter Duuuude!!!
Barrack Obama’s new campaign manager says in a high-pitched scream: “Are you ready to rrrrrooooooocccccckkkkkkkkk the vvvvvvvooooooootttttttteeeee?”
“Hi, I’m Axl Rosenburg”…yeah, I said it again fuckers!
so many look for the truth, so few find it. america rocks
America’s Imminent Loss of Superpower Status
Metalhead gone OG,
baggy pants and jewelry. Nuff said.
I, Lord Viggo, de scourge of Carpathia, demands American Flag background for my newest ebil pose. It will helps my World Books of de Guinness Record entry for de longesten wallets chain.
I actually know who that guy is. He’s Victor the Snake Mannn! He made most, if not all, of that bling he’s wearing. He’s at least part Native American. If you go to his MySpace page, you can read all about his hard luck and his support for the troops. If you already know that, then you’ll understand this caption:
“Please buy some of this shit so I don’t have to take it with me when I move again in three weeks, because my landlord’s an asshole! Oh, and let me tell you how to quit smoking!!!”
Linda thought a patriotic touch in her photo might finally land her that audition with Kittie.
A CIA agent trying to blend into the masses in Finland – EPIC FAIL
General Petraeus’s new line of super soldiers were corrupted after a drunken Kid Rock mistook the DNA vials as his sex bottle.
Toby Keith got a Johnny Cash Cd one Christmas. His cousin got a Mercyful Fate CD. I wonder how that worked out.
Dez Fafara’s promotional photo for devildriver’s next album, Anger in America.
Vince’s Marketing Poster after joining the WWE.
Wrestlemania 305 “White Trashed America”
[...] new CD Misanthropy Pure and Aletheian’s Dying Vine by coming up with the funniest caption for last week’s photo caption contest for the photo pictured at right: “The secret government project to produce a genetic [...]
I can’t zip my pants up, I only have 4 fingers!
“Alright Men, your General is out this weekend so lets all listen attentively to this drunken piss-stained rocker on how to win this war!”