METALLICA’S DEATH USED TO BE CREEPING, NOW IT’S MAGNETIC
Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 10:20am by Axl Rosenberg
Re: the above headline – I thought a lame Ride the Lightning joke was better than a lame St. Anger joke (”Metallica’s Lifestyle determines their Death Magneticstyle.”). Let me know if you can come with something even lamer.
ANYWAY. By now you’ve probably heard that Metallica have unveiled the name of their new album. But in case you haven’t, it’s going to be called Death Magnetic.
The feeling I had when I heard that was roughly akin to the feeling I had when George Lucas announced The Phantom Menace as the title of the first Star Wars prequel – except, in this case, I can’t fool myself into thinking the album might be good even though the name sucks, because this album is really going to be Metallica’s Revenge of the Sith, chronologically speaking. Seriously, I still have no idea what the fuck “St. Anger” means, but at least it rolls off the tongue a little better than Death Magnetic.
And I know certain parties think I give Metallica too much shit, especially considering that I haven’t even heard the new album yet. But have you tried to listen to “2 X 4″ or “Dirty Window” without wanting to slice your own ears off recently? Uh-huh. Thought so.
Below, watch a video announcing the album title and featuring a snippet of new music. I have to wonder if what we’re hearing is a piece of the song currently titled “Flamingo,” which will apparently be the new single.
-AR
hey mate…you can eat a cock…we all thought it was a pretty cool name…
actually we just kind of made it up at the drop of a hat when we took alot of acid at bonnaroo…james was tripping on acid and jigging his balls off during tiesto’s set and said “MAN THIS MUSIC IS ELECTRIC AND I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO DIE” and then a man pulled down his pants revealing the word “death” tattooed on one testicle and “magnetic” titled on the other….james and i looked at each other and knew our new album title!
I listened to all their albums this past week and came to the conclusion that the first 5 albums are awesome, Load/Reload are hard to get all the way through, and St. Anger really is not the best album I’ve heard from them.
I had a hard time reading this post, what with all the Star Wars “prequel” references. I haven’t seen those movies because, well, I’ve seen a vagina in person.
the term “not awful” comes to mind…
although, I am in the minority…
I’m actually looking forward to this album…
hey, did you guys know that Death Magnetic is anagram for MEGADETH IN ACT?
There’s still time to rename it “Shit Magnet.”
Death Magnetic?
Wtf. Utter and complete, Atlas-scale wtf.
The names of all the bullshit myspace metal bands are stupid enough (especially the current favorite here, IWRESTLEDABEARONCE), but now Metallica is following in that trend?
@TedTed: It is time for you to find a job. ;)
What’s with September? Why are all the CD’s coming out then? I mean, Metallica, Trivium, Slipknot… God, Imma be back in school and have no money by the time they come out.
Better keep it away from your wristwatch…
I second: SHIT MAGNET. It works on a couple of levels, especially if (when) it sucks!
@ Sammy: maybe i do have one…a clue: do you ever see me and Axl or Vince all in the same room at the same time? oooohhhhh :-P
If only their talent magnetic hadn’t broken sometime in the 1990’s. (sigh)
@ TedTed: I have a nasty cold mixed with killer mid-June allergies. You’re fucking with my mind, man. I’m already all fuzzy headed.
Shit magnetic works on so many levels, but my favorite is the Spinal Tap level
“Shark sandwich album review was only 2 words. Shit sandwich”.
I’m not sure I get your reference to Star Wars, Revenge was the best prequel, so this album has to be good after two iffy ones.
That sounded alright though, little too St-Angery to me, but we’ll see come September, and the name is ironic considering the post-millennium douchbag behavior that’s earned them such hatred.
They should call it “Death Poetic” and immediately after it’s released, retire and/or kill themselves/each other. Ahh… Cliff, how you are sorely missed… 22 years gone, and they’ve been pissing on your grave for 13 of them… “The Black Album,” “Load,” “ReLoad (aka SWALLOW),) “St. Wanker…” I’m sensing a gay auto-erotic asphyxiation theme here…
The only reason they call it Death Magnetic and not Death Magnet because otherwise the logo wouldn’t fit.
“I CAN’T MEGADETH” is also a possibility. Sadly, at this point in time, it might also be true.
After thinking about it a bit more, it makes sense – the events from St. Anger to present have magnetized fans to want Metallica to suffer a painful death.
Death….magnets….dead…..
Ah fuck it, it made more sense when I was drunk anyway.
Who gives you shit about hating on Metallica? Metallica? Good.
They’ve sucked for years and deserve to fade into oblivion along with the distribution model they so fervently clung to.
Fuck ‘em.
@Conor
Boy you are an intelligent badass aren’t you? Metallica won’t ever fade into oblivion like them or not. Also, maybe you are smarter than I because I didn’t understand what you meant by distribution model. “Fuck ‘em”. Yeah ok pal, feel better? How about “Don’t like ‘em anymore stop searching for articles about them to insult their reputation and their fans to make yourself feel better”. Have fun at your minimum wage job, asshole. These guys have always had talent and continue to give inspiration and excitement to millions. CAN YOU DO THAT MOTHERFUCKER? Have some respect for people who have accomplished SOMETHING in life other than being born a stupid son of a bitch who has nothing good to say about anybody or anything. Damn I hate cynical bastards. If you are a former fan then quit acting like a psycho-stalker ex-fiancee and move the fuck on already. GET OVER IT AND KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF.
P.S. Conor has a little dick
Fuck all tht think Metallica r shit. I’ll admit tht Load and Reload were shit but St Anger wasn’t the worst albulm in The world. Oh Yeah Conor u r a wortjless piece of shit who is probably unemployed and has a very little dick. Metallica hve sold over 95 MILLON albulms. So until u can fucking do tht dont dis Metallica u fucking wanker.
Wow. I’m just assuming you all listen to shit like Dragonforce and have albums with names like “Dragon Lord Warrior” and “Lands of Eternal Fire,” so none of your opinions count for anything in regards to Death Magnetic and Metallica in general. The name is referring to peoples attraction to death and at the same time their repulsion from it. If you idiots can’t understand that then it’s your fault, not Metallicas.
Death Magnetic is a joke. As good as Master of Puppets or Ride the Lightning? You have no clue what you’re talking about. That is what they were, and their so-called return to glory sounds nothing like the old stuff. Nothing. Fact two, Metallica is not a Thrash band. Never have been. That term seems to be confused nowaday. Megadeth is Thrash, and Mustaine fits with that kind of singing. Hetfield sounds like a buffoon singing at the local Karaoke bar. If they put something out like And Justice for All, then they would’ve been back. Even something like the Black album would’ve been better than this crap. A lot of people put down Load and Reload, but at least on those they made music for the sake of making it. Some bands age well, but some should be put out to pasture. I’ll let you guess which one Metallica is.
I’ve been a Metallica fan from the beginning. Yes, I am that old. The Black Album was the last decent recording and even it was borderline. After that, every album put out was below average and not worth owning. Listen to Master of Puppets and then listen to Death Magnetic; or, listen to Disposable Heros and then listen to Cyanide. There is no comparison.