The Past

After reading a lot of responses to my blogs I decided to do something a little different. I’m going to post a DRUG induced blog I did over a year ago. I could really give a shit what anyone thinks about me, especially if they don’t know me. So if my use of the word ‘nigger’ bothers you, or my political talking points annoy you — Good.

Maybe this will just cause you to be outraged…

Rock…

June 9th 2007

Armageddon: The Age of Aquarius

What up people?! I haven’t been up on here too much lately because I haven’t had much to say. But, now I think I’ve got a ton of shit to say. What will I say? I don’t even know. I talk a lot. Any of you who really know me, know that I’m a living mouthpiece and I love to hear the sound of my own voice. Even when I’m wrong. Actually, no, especially when I’m wrong — Have you ever convinced someone of something you knew was wrong but actually succeeded in convincing them? I have. It’s fun. And cruel. But that’s why I can usually always get what I want.

Now what am I actually saying here? What am I trying to project to you — The ones who are reading this? I have close to 2000 friends on myspace and it’s quite funny to me because I don’t understand why so many people would request to be my friend. But since I do have an “audience”; what am I trying to say about influence and convincing someone of something you know not to be true?

I hope everyone out there watches the news. I don’t mean the 10 oclock news. I mean the agenda news stations. FOXNEWS, CNN, HEADLINE NEWS, CNBC, MSNBC, etc, etc. This is where my point lies. They do this to us every day. Convincing us of things we know not to be true but we start to accept them. FOX NEWS: They have the conservative, republican agenda. So much so, it’s sickening. I spend a lot of my time in hotel rooms on tour stopping myself from hurling the remote at the TV then throwing the TV two stories to the pavement in a fit of rage.

I don’t do this because I have ONE thing that keeps me ME! WHO I AM IS NONE OF YOU! That’s what keeps me sane . Fuck SANE. My insanity has contributed to my success. How about my piece of mind and my way of playing the game of life. Convincing the person of something they know not to be true. It happens every day. Every moment we live.

TO THE PARENTS: Tell me about ADD. Or ADHD. Are you that lazy? Attention Deficit Disorder? Where does that term apply? Just school curriculums? Reading a book? What age does it start?
Tell me this about your justification of imprisoning your children into nonpersonality prisons: Why do your ADD kids seem to be able to pay attention to a video game or a sport but not school curriculum? Where’s the ADD on the football field? Where is it with the XBOX?

Do you see? How can ADD only apply to certain things? These kids are smarter than most of us. They pick up things most of us ignore and their lives are compromised because parents don’t want to DEAL with them? Who convinced you your kids have ADD? CNN? FOXNEWS? Republican Lobbyists?

Let’s talk about ARMAGEDDON.

When you look at the news, around your corner, your bank account; everyone wants to say it’s all coming to an end. The next end is 2012. The Mayan Calender. The Polar Shift. I believed the end of the world was coming in 2012. I thought this was all for nothing. Everything was Nothing. I believed this so much that I broke down in terrible sobs in front of my girlfriend about the end being nigh. Tequila, tequila, tequila. Take my word for it, it’s bad for your street cred. :) I can admit these things to everyone one of you who reads this because it doesn’t mean shit. This information is here to help you! Yes, I cry. So do you. So the fuck what… Everyone of my breakdowns has been the end of a stage of my life. The end of things create beginnings of things. The beginnings lead to new, increasingly more difficult challenges but ultimately, for me, to a beautiful, blessed life. This is not just me. This is EVERYONE OF YOU!

I can be a miserable bastard sometimes and I was from 2003 to Dec 2006. Three years of blaming, jealousy, envy. I don’t remember most of that time clearly because I was living in a future of uncertainty and just misery. Why? Everyone of you knows I have a great life so why was I miserable? Here’s a simple answer to a complicated question: I wasn’t paying attention to what made me happy at all. I was using the band as a scapegoat for the things i wanted and wasn’t getting. You all do it. I still do it sometimes. But, I had a major shift in my thinking. For all sense and purposes I changed as a human being, which to me is hilarious because it’s a cliche but it is true. I changed. Not who I am, but how I think. We’re all capable. I’m still not the person I want to be. I want wealth so I can help other be wealthy. I want my musician friends to tackle film because I see music and film as the same thing. If you know what you want what does it matter if it’s music, film, or making computer programs. You’re all geniuses. If you don’t believe that, then you are the ones who need to read this over and over again. I don’t spell things out easily. I will test you all the time.

The Age Of Aquarius is upon us and it’s going to be a better life for people like you and me. The CREATORS. Think about it. Look around you. Of all the bad stuff you see; shootings, kidnappings, suicide bombings, etc, etc. Really look at the great things: Your friends buying you drinks, you taking that step towards that film role, that web distro biz. No, let’s go deeper.

Go into the next room of your house, look through that wall to your room mate, mother, grandmother, son, daughter, cousin. Think about how amazing it is to know that when you or they are not here any more that everything really does die except their love for you and vice versa. Think about it.

When you get fired from your job and your mom busts your balls because your life is stagnant at this point, do you really think she’s going to think about that when your six feet under, or will you when she’s six feet under? Are you happy?

It’s always darkest before the light. It’s a known truth and it will be for the dawn of time. Right now, don’t lack HOPE! It’s the beginning of your dreams. I started with one dream. I realized it. I had another one. I realized it. One more. You see? This is the story of my life. It’s yours if you know exactly what you want.

One last question: How is anyone in this world going to tell you what you think is cool?