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What the fuck??

WHO THE HELL WOULD SPEND MONEY ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT?

 Thursday, July 10th, 2008 at 12:18pm by

all known metal bandsMetalSucks reader Travis B. sent us a link about perhaps the most useless dust collector coffee table book ever, the appropriately titled All Known Metal Bands:

This volume contains the names of over fifty thousand metal bands. If one presumes that each of these bands had an average of four members, and multiplies that by the bands, one might figure that at least a quarter of a million humans have pledged allegiance to one of these groups of wandering beasts.

First of all, that assumption is a pile of crap given that 95% of all (good) metal bands are Swedish and that they’ve all swapped members countless times. Even if that didn’t matter… who gives a fuck? Can you say “last minute desperation gift for a metalhead from his girlfriend,” anyone? I can just see the reaction <cue Seinfeld voice> “ohhh… A book of all known metal bands… nice… Thanks…”

-VN

  • http://www.NONELOUDER.com Sam

    Is that really the cover art? Is this really just a book of names?

  • http://www.myspace.com/robbiedrechsel Robbie

    I think both. Doesn’t Metal-Archives.com have 50,000 bands on it or something. I’ve got good money that someone just copied and pasted that list into this!

  • http://hookssobig.blogspot.com Wayne

    Oh, and who should be releasing this but none other than McSweeney’s, which means it’s ironic….. or something.

    It may be recieved BY metalheads from their wait-til-the-last-minute girlfriends, but it’s designed FOR people who listen to metal now, but listened to Death Cab 4 years ago, and will be listening to the next soup du jour 4 years from now.

  • Sammy

    95% of all metal bands have swapped Swedish cunts?

    Oh wait, I misread that. Never mind. As you were.

  • Dr J

    Rolling Stone magazine put this on their monthly must see list.

  • Bryan

    I saw this book in Forbidden Planet. It’s more kitsch than useful. It’s by McSweeney’s, which does a lot of “high concept” things like that for no good reason.

  • bill

    why the fuck wouldn’t you want that book

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Richaod/ Richaod

    Can’t wait for the four-volume follow up “All Known Members of Metal Bands”. If it’s really just a cash-in surely they should go all the way.

  • Andrew

    I actually saw this book in a Barnes and Noble, and I have to agree – it’s the most retarded thing ever. And it seems to have left out the entire Industrial Metal genre (which I know I’ll get shit for even mentioning) but Rammstein, Megaherz, Eisbrecher, all those bands seemed to have missed this list. Why would you buy a book that lets you know theres 7 bands named Corpse Fucker and the (2nd*) largest German music export is not included.

    (*fuck Kraftwerk)

  • Nick

    @Andrew: maybe its a book of all known TRUE metal bands.

  • Andrew

    Industrial Metal genre (which I know I’ll get shit for even mentioning)

    I called it…

  • S.A.M.E

    Swedish metal is shat ass.
    and that’s actually quite interesting.
    Sammy whoever you are…… you’re a dumbass… or dyslexic.
    Andrew: Who cares..
    Nick:Shut the fuck up he’s right ,