I can’t….ugh….believe that…ugh, come out dammit!….i can’t believe that their blaming Marilyn Manson for high gas prices!…..ahhh…that’s better.

“Barrack Obama wants to raise Taxes on windfal profits on Oil companies and give the revenue to the middle class??? Does he know ANYTHING about economics??? Raising taxes only raises gas prices. Eughh, Fuck it, Hail Satan!”

Even guys who are so metal they shit nails enjoy a morning newspaper whilst turning the porcelain throne into a porcelain pincushion. Note the toilet bowl cleaner in the background – a must to get rid of those pesky rust stains.

Fenriz hard at work on the new Darkthrone album.

Fuck, Velocidactyl beat me to it! Mine’s funnier, though, goddamn it.

@Sammy: NOICE!

1 part laxative 2 parts metal = Some serious damage

OH GOD, IT’S AS IF NIAGARA FALLS BURST INTO FLAMES AND EMERGED FROM MY ANUS

“Uuurgghh………..mmmmrrrhhhrgg…….shit, I think my make-up is running……”

If he was truly metal he’d wipe his ass with that newspaper…

@Velocidactyl

Dammit, you used mine! Well, maybe I can win through you LOL

Diarrhea Ist Krieg

Nothing like reading the newspaper will taking a Behemoth dump.

britney spears is that you now

And when the toilet flushes, the hopes of black metal ever being popular are gone.

Tr00 P00

Bow down to the king.

*in a very sad voice*

Did somebody order a clown?

Then he got up, looked into the bowl, and saw the new Cryptospy.

Seriously, I don’t know what is wrong, my face goes like this everytime I need to have a shit after an evening meal of Vindaloo.

“This handle is so I don’t fall off of the (dark)throne from rocking out to Immortal while I drop a deuce. I am also reading a newspaper.”

I didn’t know my lead singer’s brains would give me diarrhea. Maybe it was the sheep’s blood I washed it down with.

SPLASHBACK!!!!!!

“Vargs parole denied???”

[sigh]… he can burn churches, slaughter virgins, and decapitate goats on stage all night, but when it comes right down to it… all intensity is lost when you catch him sitting down to pee.

They have ass-wipes in rural Norway?

Sociologists have revealed that the root cause of black metal’s emergence in Norway may finally be attributed to fury over the country’s quaint “angled bathrooms”, that require an individual to hold onto the wall to remain in place, depriving the country’s young males of a quiet place to masterbate and a mirror to realize how pathetic they look.

“I’m so Metal I shit SATAN!”

let’s try it again. ok, ready? recording vocals, take Four…

One of the rare photo stills taken during Dani Filth’s birth – available only on the limited edition CoF view finder!

“Black Metal Morning” – even my shit hates your god.

When they said Metal up your asss, He really thought they meant it. “RELEASE THE EVIL!”

Who Does Number 2 Work For!

It doesn’t take much to make make a more pleasant sound than Transilvanian Hunger

“I got tired on wiping my ass on leafs in between posing with my buddies in the woods.”

Shit this isn’t a joke thats really my bathroom and thats my brother!

After seeing the numbers for The Dark Knight this metal fan shat himself and said if only Heath Ledger died before shooting the movie I could have been The Joker.

Oh, LORD BELIAL and HELLHAMMER, I just took a big fat DIMMU out of my BORGIR, leaving the CRADLE full OF FILTH. I almost broke my BURZUM while sitting like an EMPEROR on the DARKTHRONE, you should have heard all the MAYHEM, it made me feel IMMORTAL while almost killing me. I shat out so much of my ANCIENT guts I began suffering from ANOREXIA NERVOSA, it even caused my VENOMous urine to turn into an almost CELTICy FROST, the kind you would normally see coming out of Erzebet BATHORY’s BEHEMOTH entrails at the DARKest FUNERAL after a going on a good long ROYAL HUNT for HECATE ENTHRONED and ZYKLON-B…Oh look, the papers say, ‘gas prices went down 2 cents after GORGOROTH, HYPOCRISY, MARDUK and ABRUPTUM canceled their European tour’ I guess I’m doing my part [*flush*].

This is a PERFECT fusion of all the black-metal sub-genres; including Symphonic *fart* Melodic *fart, fart* Ambient *fart* and Raw like NSBS *fart, fart, fart* Oh, sorry I meant NSBuM!!! *fart* No, I meant NSBM – there that feels better…*faaart*…ah…

Former NIGHTWISH lead-singer Tarja Turunen, looking through the ‘classifieds’ section, in search of a new job after being replaced by Anette Olzon (Jeez, she’s really let herself go).

the newest brutal sub-gernre of metal that takes from black metal band Immortal and weird gay band The Butthole Surfers called Black Crap metal lead by newest to hit the metal scene called The Infernal Crap

Last known photo of Cliff Burton, taken just as the bus was tipping. Autopsy reports show his last meal was a powdered donut.

Heath Ledger’s not dead.

We will win, be sure.

“That toliet is a portal straight to hell, where else would black metal shit go?”

“Squeezing for Vengence”

Mate.Feed.Kill.Shit.Repeat.

Varg Vikerness taking a shit