Comments on: INTRODUCING METALSUCKS’ NEW ADVICE COLUMN: ASK ANTON OYVEY

By: fearofbirdshit

fearofbirdshit — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:47:55 +0000

nice try but we came up with this “schtick” a whole two days befor you did… I think we all know that Ann could take this old man any day she chose.

By: F

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:44:07 +0000

Dear Anton,

A female friend of mine hooked up with this jerk. They even started living together a few weeks ago. I was wondering, what metal lyric describes the best way to make him ‘disappear’?

Help! You’re the only one I can turn to!

Love,

A desperate F

By: Elync

Elync — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:01:02 +0000

If one makes a band shirt (namely, Megadeth) out of a plain white t-shirt, and uses an iron patch, would he be considered a poser in doing so?

By: Andres

Andres — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:09:07 +0000

Megadeth or Metallica?

By: Danny

Danny — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:04:02 +0000

Would it be wrong to start a chain letter on the day that Metallica’s new cd is released instructing people to download the fuck out of it? Like those stupid emails telling people not to buy gas on a certain date, or not shopping on Black Friday.

By: JS

JS — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:05:09 +0000

the difference between really wasted and passed out: If you poke with a stick (wooden) and she doesn’t move = passed out, if she moves 2 arms and her head towards such stick = not passed out. Passed out = not cool. Really wasted = have fun.

And btw joey I laughed for a few min reading that.

By: deathmetalfan99

deathmetalfan99 — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:32:11 +0000

are you still heavy and brutal if you listen to jimi hendrix and zz top and then turn around and listen to cannibal corpse and the black dahlia murder?

By: Pick-Axe Bobby

Pick-Axe Bobby — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:30:56 +0000

It is ABSOLUTELY ethical to have two flying V’s – especially if they are white. Case in point: BOULDER.

http://www.myspace.com/bouldersragers (Not the best of their songs, but it will do, esp DLR Is King)

Reaped In Half is one of my fav metal records ever.

By: JTL

JTL — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:05:15 +0000

If a band has a dual-necked guitar onstage, but only uses one of the necks, is it ok to call the band a bunch of posers?

By: Elync

Elync — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:55:59 +0000

Andres, you totally saw that too. I knew there was something wrong with this guy’s name, but I couldn’t figure it.

Pick-Axe, you’re a riot.

And question:
Is it metally(?) ethical to have two Flying-V ax wielding guitarists in a single band?

By: JTL

JTL — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:42:56 +0000

Fair enough. I’d have a problem if our budding Dear Abby’s nom de guerre didn’t involve our dark lord.

By: Jac

Jac — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:54:48 +0000

whatever

By: Andres

Andres — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:51:36 +0000

Haha, it was a joke. ;)

I normally don’t make a habit of taking advice from people who’s name sound eerily familar to the founder of the church of Satan.

By: JTL

JTL — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:36:38 +0000

Andres: From whom would you rather ask advice on MetalSucks? This seems like a perfectly rational choice.

By: Pick-Axe Bobby

Pick-Axe Bobby — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:58:29 +0000

1. no
2. whatever you want
3. no and no

That was easy. I should do this for a living.

By: Andres

Andres — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:45:56 +0000

I refuse to ask advice to someone who’s name sounds so eerily smilar to Anton LaVey’s.

By: Joey Fatoney

Joey Fatoney — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:43:01 +0000

Several questions have plagued me over the years….

1. Is it cool to wear the tshirt of the bad you are seeing at their concert?
2. What is the best drink other than beer to consume while listening to metal?
3. When does a girl’s official status change from “really wasted” to “passed out” and is it legal/ethical to still have sex w/ her in either state?

By: GREGDOUT

GREGDOUT — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:38:59 +0000

Iif your evenings are bong-smoke filled, where do I sign up?