LADDER UP AN ASS: BEST SUPERGROUP EVER!
Thursday, August 7th, 2008 at 11:37am by Axl Rosenberg
As Vince has already explained, we were at Mayhem Fest yesterday, and in the coming days we’ll have a full review, photos, interviews with everyone from Mastodon to Machine Head, and all that good stuff.
But really quickly, I just wanna talk about the highlight of the day’s activities – an incredible performance by a supergroup going by the moniker Ladder Up an Ass (And yes, it’s “an Ass,” not “the Ass” or “Your Ass” – it’s a non-specific ladder and a non-specific ass.). Because while some members of the band seemed to think it was a one-off performance, no one ruled the possibility of more surprise appearances on upcoming Mayhem dates. And if you go to Mayhem in the coming weeks and happen to hear that Ladder Up an Ass are playing, YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST DROP EVERYTHING AND GO SEE THEM.
The story goes like this: while Vince and I were hanging around waiting to do an interview with Troy Sanders from Mastodon, we heard that band’s guitarist/co-vocalist, Brent Hinds, approach Slipknot’s Corey Taylor.
“We doing this thing today?” Hinds asked Taylor.
“Yep!” Taylor replied enthusiastically. “Today is the day!”
“What instruments are we using?” Hinds asked.
“No instruments,” Taylor answered matter-of-factly. “Maybe some triangles.”
At this point, Vince turned to me and whispered – “Do you think there’s gonna be an all-star jam later?”
“With no instruments but the triangle?” I replied, incredulous. “I think they were just kidding around.”
Still, it was hard not to notice the sudden and unannounced inclusion of some band called Ladder Up an Ass on the show’s roster for the day. They were scheduled to go on at 7:35, after Machine Head had finished their set and the second stage was supposed to be done for the night. Was Ladder Up an Ass a local band? Roadie code for breaking down the stage and packing up the gear? Or was there, in fact, to be some sort of all-star jam session?
Well, an hour or two before Ladder Up an Ass were scheduled to do, um, whatever the fuck it was they were gonna do, we got word that it was, in fact, the members of The Red Chord with Corey Taylor on vocals. Of course, this was way too enticing for anyone in his right mind to miss, and suddenly it seemed like most band members and journalists were shuffling around interview times in order to take in the show.
So before launching into the obligatory “Davidian” finisher, Machine Head’s Robb Flynn tells the crowd to stick around for an amazing new band, Ladder Up an Ass. Still, most of the crowd didn’t heed his advice, instead heading over to the main stage to catch the second half of Dragonforce’s set.
With all due respect to Dragonforce, most people are morons who missed out on something awesome.
Ladder Up an Ass’ arrival was heralded by spray-painted banners of – you guessed it – ladders up asses, and soon enough, four of the five members of The Red Chord, Mastodon’s Brann Dailor, and Taylor all hit the stage with surgical masks on and… triangles.
What followed was more of a performance piece than an actual jam session – pre-recorded “music” (usually just droning or chanting) blasted over the PA while the masked members of this new “band” lept around the stage. The Red Chord’s Guy Kozowyk sat behind a drum kit although he was making no real attempt to keep rhythm, and Taylor pranced around with a tuba, although if the dude can actually play tuba or not is anybody’s guess. As the “set” went on, more and more members of various bands – including but not limited to other musicians from Mastodon, Suicide Silence, Black Tide, Walls of Jericho, Slipknot, and hordes of others I’m probably forgetting – came up on stage, each with a surgical mask on and a triangle.
Eventually Gunface from The Red Chord took the mic and announced that Ladder Up an Ass stood for “gummy rights” – the civil rights of “real animals” who had been turned into gummy bears, peeps, etc. – and everyone on stage started throwing peeps into what little of the crowd had stuck around for this event (including the four of five dudes who actually started the world’s smallest circle pit before doing the world’s smallest rendition of the wall of death). The crowd, in turn, started throwing the peeps back at the “band.” Vince scored the silver medal for the day when he nailed Taylor in the head with a peep; his mighty throw was bested only by the dude who actually managed to get a peep into Taylor’s tuba (even Taylor stopped to acknowledge this world-shattering accomplishment).
For the final song, the intro to “Raining Blood” started to play over the PA, but just as the main riff was about to kick in, the music stopped and everyone just started to bang on their triangles/drums/air guitars/tuba/whatever. It was a wonderful cacophony of noise, metal as Andy Kaufman might have imagined it.
Later in the evening, we managed to get Kozowyk to spill the beans on how the whole project came together, and where the fuck one gets a hundred triangles. But you’ll have to wait to read the interview to get that story…
-AR
This actually sounds kinda awful.
that sounds retarded
That sounds stupidly funny. Didn’t happen in VA beach, sadly. Peta2 was there getting people to sign a petition and get a free DVD with lamb of god on it….but it was just a bunch of interview clips with members of various bands talking about how meat is murder and blah-blah-blah. There’s a shitload of kids angry at peta2 right now for being misleading. Next time I go to something like that and I hear PETA is there I’m going to go to the consessions stand and see if they’ll sell me a raw burger that I can slap in the middle of PETAs table. Or maybe I’ll just bring a rancid steak or something.
It was hilarious, me and one of my friend were 2 of the 3 people in the tiny circle pit. “I’m suprised you’re still all here with Dragonforce raging on inside”. It was ten times better than Dragonforce could’ve ever been.
Hahahhaha!
Yeah I was the kid in the middle who started sitting on the bars yelling “I AM A WIZARD” while doing strange hand motions.
Great Job Mike and Greg, you surpassed Plant Vochestra.
The singer in DF was more interested in screwing metal skankstresses than mingling with the fans…not that I can blame him but dude, when there is a 40 foot line of people to get a picture taken with your band, you can get your dick wet some other time. My son really wanted a picture but that dude was more interested in poking his English pecker in some virginian (not virgin) slutbags.
sounds pretty dumb to me. but then again, one’s opinion on this performance is very related to today’s poll question
That sounds terrible. I would’ve rather watched Dragonforce, and I hate Dragonforce.
The whole point was to be terrible and obnoxious, and they achieved that goal. It was abstract art if you ask me.
Almost akin to early on with Metallica’s Spaztik Children band with Cliff & James playing the wrong instruments etc. Its fun.
It couldn’t be worse than watching a Monotonix show. Besides it sounds like a funny time to me, stupid or not. I would have probably stood there with a big stupid grin on my face for the entire “set”
I was at the show yesterday and I was in the pit for Machinehead when Rob announced the side show. I went inside thinking…”fuck the floor is so tight already its gonna be toug to get close for slipknot”. well fuck me sideways…i caught the tail end of Dragonforce making a mockery of metal inside by singing like females and fucking each other on stage. Dragonforce should be banned from anything that has to do with metal. It was discraceful. Any idiot who was cheering for them in that show is a fucking pussy and a moron. FUCK!
I’m now actually heartbroken that I did not go to Mayhem.That sounds amazing.
Go to bitpom.com to see some pics of this.
I would give anything to see this on youtube….
Yeah, YouTube needs to get a hold of this already. Web 2.0 my ass. Put down the peeps and record something, guys!
I am so fucking for this band I can’t describe it. Win.
Horseshit, they should’ve done this in San Diego..I love the Red Chord, besides having some good heavy music, they are some goofy fuckers to, their interview with metalinjection is hilarious. Side note about the Dragonforce set, every time the asian dude would do a solo, he would stand over this fan so his hair would start waving around, After i noticed i started to laugh hysterically? I mean was this guy serious, is he doing it to try and actually look all badass while he’s soloing, or does he know he looks like a turbo douche bag and thats the point of doing it, to be silly?
@ Darth. I thought that was pretty stupid, myself and I onlt caught him do it in two songs. I guess they want to make it look more dramatic and shit. Or maybe it was hot and he like the way the fan felt on his balls…either way, it was beyond cheesy.
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