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Cinemetal

I LOVE THE SMELL OF FAILURE IN THE MORNING

 Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 10:08am by

Ahhhh. I live for days like this.

Van Canto, who I declared earlier this year to be the worst band in metal today, have released a new video for the song “Speed of Light.”

I tell ya, I was in kind of a shit mood when I woke up today, but laughter really is the best medicine, doncha think?

-AR

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  • Dress to Depress

    Wow, dude. It’s like the metal version of the Polyphonic Spree.

  • cullen

    They managed to combine Dragonforce and the scat man to create something truly repulsive.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bannisterslash Bannister Slash

    unreal. i’d rather listen to a dozen kittens being skinned alive.

  • http://www.myspace.com/riffcompelsme riffcompelsme

    Is Homer Simpson on backing vocals? I’m hearing a lot of death metal “DO’Hs” in there.

  • Dr J

    If you took everything i hate about metal and put it in one band, this is what it would sound like.

  • DNS666

    *lmao* Failed musical actors / actresses should really be banned from starting a ‘metal’ band – or even better: banned from breathing precious air altogether.

  • The Mighty Fucking Quinn

    Hahahahahahahahaha at the description of making Atreyu sound like Watain.

    It’s lame and yet intriguing….kinda like staring at a car wreck.

    But honestly, does NOBODY else find it at least kinda funny that through the effects for the “solo” you can tell that that dude is totally yodeling????

  • Malacoda

    i don’t think I’d call it “metal” but it sucks anysways

  • Joe

    “Hey let’s go to the other side of the creek. It’ll look like we’ve been transported to a medieval world where Jakob’s older brother can’t laugh at us.”

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    This is amazing. I always wondered what an a’cappella metal band would sound like. Now I feel like an asshole for even thinking that thought. Holy fuck that song, that video, that guy’s Van Canto tattoo – all unbelievably horrible.

    Ugh, at least it was horrible enough to be hilarious. Unlike the new Metallica song. Which was just boring.

  • b-rad

    wow! you had to pull the video already?

  • http://www.pro-jikts.com Nickmeister

    Yes Van Canto are embarrassing, and yes they’re horribly hilarious…

    BUT!

    I gotta give it to them, the lead singer guy and girl sing well

    AND!

    For sure it takes a lot of balls to do what baldy does on the video @ minute 4:35 whilst nom nom nomming!

    Ha ha ha

  • http://cultclassicmoviereview.blogspot.com You Don’t Know Me

    apparently they did version of “Battery” by Metallica. it’s on their myspace page. I laughed my ass off at it, especially since they’re so into it.

  • JTL

    I can only make it through one minute of their version of “Battery.” It represents the one time I wish Metallica would sue someone.