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Cinemetal

IS THIS FUCKING REAL?

 Friday, September 5th, 2008 at 4:30pm by

You may have noticed that one of the Google ads that keeps popping up around here recently is for some group called Hollywood Undead (In case you’re retarded, you should know that we actually have no control over what Google ads pop up on our site.). After seeing the same picture of this band day after day, I finally decided to check them out for myself.

Well, I would have been better off being the meat in a fuck sandwich with Billy Milano and Dino Cazares. Do people really still make, listen to, or in any way associate themselves with crap like this? Or did someone stick me in a time machine and whisk me away to 1998? I’m fairly certain that Hollywood Undead are just the members of Crazy Town with masks on so they don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of being recognized as the members of Crazy Town.

Anyway, I can’t even get through this entire piece of squirrel feces (For the record, I got as far as the gross chick with the mohawk taking her top off; then I barfed on my computer and turned it off.). Good luck to anyone else who cares to try.

-AR

P.S. Yes, I’m aware that simply by posting this article I’ve probably ensured hundreds of more Google ads for these dudes. Oh well.

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  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    It’s nice to see Slipknot expanding their horizons.

  • Elpants

    Sweet masks mang.

  • RomuluXX

    Holy. Fuck.

  • CrapMcPoopin

    I had an ex who liked these guys towards the end of our relationship. Thank god she’s an ex.

  • slice two

    wow… this is fucking horrendous.

  • Olga Folkyerself

    3:38 of my life I will never get back.

  • Name Not Applicable

    No doubt the worst CD of 08. Better go pick it up, I’m a sucker for horrible music.

  • Steve

    this song is in Madden 09

  • Sammy

    :21 That’s how far I made it.

    I do find it ironically funny that every time you bash a band, you’re inadvertantly providing advertising for them.

  • Name Not Applicable

    I don’t think thats the case. Theres a difference between saying “Hollywood Undead exist” and “Hollywood Undeads album drops their new record tuesday, check it out!” When you advertise for a band it has to be positive (or sometimes so negative you have to hear it) But thats just one douchebags opinion.

  • Jason

    I am tour right now and these guys played at a festival that we played at. I had some work to do and was onstage at the time of their performance. I stood there in total awe of the complete crappiness of the entire thing. The sad thing is that there were kids there getting into it.

  • Kye

    Would it shock anyone if I informed you this was the best song on the cd?

    I actually like this song(and a few of their others), but it’s more of a guilty pleasure than something I’d seriously invest time or money into.

    I’m surprised this is the first time you guys have commented about them, they’ve been around a damn long time.

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl Cavorka

    What the hell? I did some research on youtube and it seems that two videos by them are viewed 1,267,047 and 1,321,090!! Man, these guys make Limp Bizkit look like Iron Fucking maiden! Oh no wait…. that’s a bit too far euhmmmm, Metallica then…………

    Could this be that big nu- metal comeback we all feared?

  • J-Rodimus Prime

    is it me or did the synth sound like crazy train sped up? The video had enough near nudity to keep me through the whole video…

  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    J-Rodimus Prime: The sign of a true meathead, boobs make anything watchable.

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    Serves you right for not using Firefox’s Adblock extension.

  • http://metalmartyr.com metalmartyr.com

    I heard about these guys awhile back. I think they were a feature on myspace so I checked out the profile and was an instant non-fan. But for some fucked up reason some kids are lovin them.

  • BlestTilDeth

    Give me the keys you motherfucking cocksucker, whatthefuck?

  • http://www.countshockula.blogspot.com ezra

    I like the captains hat. It screams, “I’m in charge!”, in a gay way

  • Name Not Applicable

    This is no second coming of nu-metal. This is Nu-Emo, hence the Linkin Park singing, the fringe cuts, the angst, and the lead MC “Charlie Scene”.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    Wow! That makes Death Magnetic sound like the second coming of metal.

  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    You know I was going to point that out, there’s a lot of similarity here with Linkin Park’s first two releases(and some of the last).

    God though, all the constant T&A, machismo, shit talking, and use of the word “fag”, you’d think they were just so fucking secure in their masculinity. Which is just what they want you to think, eh?

  • The Mighty Fucking Quinn

    LOL @ about the 3 minute mark where the chick is either farting of queefing into the mic.That video just lacked everything.Not even in the mood to bash – it was just devoid of talent in any form.

  • Hot Carl

    I’m glad someone formally started the pen15 club.

  • hegster

    idk, the song’s not that bad as far as pop goes these days.
    but its a crime these guys are as big as..they are.
    the whole thing is a sick joke though.
    guys in masks…rapping…over metal-esque influenced music…”naked” girls…it all just screamed “DONT LISTEN TO THE MUSIC WE’RE COVERING UP WITH VISUAL STIMULI!!!”

    any “artist” who pays girls to climb all over them in a music video to build up their image does not merit my respect or interest.

  • http://www.myspace.com/Amethyst_shadows Scary Mary

    this is total shit someone should assasinate them….

  • slipmush

    LoL

    I just went to their main website and listened to a few songs. If you listen to their song “Everywhere I Go”, it sounds like a collaboration of Eminem and Weird Al Yankovic LMAO!

  • Malacoda

    Wanna know something scary? I think they’re signed to Lifeforce Records, home of some truly kickass bands.

  • Malacoda

    Never mind. I lost my mind for a second there.

  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    We all did, it comes with the territory.

  • guy

    pu-metal

  • b-rad

    sweet whorish mother of merciless god. it’s amazing how much this is a carbon copy of Wolfpac but with mushroomhead masks.

  • pickle

    complete & utter shit

  • Damotello

    Some day I hope I’m as cool as those guys.

  • http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/82/image1llrk5.jpg Revrant

    But then you’ll be part of Good Charlotte.

  • DeafMetal

    “I’m fairly certain that Hollywood Undead are just the members of Crazy Town with masks on so they don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of being recognized as the members of Crazy Town.”

    Best part of this article.

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  • Fionnbharr

    That shit is fucking wack.

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    • anonymous

      oh darn look whos at the top of the charts!! Hollywood undead..you guys shouldnt be so quick to call a band crappy…these dudes are making quite the buzz to main stream success…:)

  • Scabs

    HotCarl, you own this thread. I’m pretty sure the club includes all their fans, too.

  • HollywoodUndeadSuck

    FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD YOU ARE LOOSER INSPIRATION IS WHAT YOU NEED

  • hollywood undead kick ass

    at the end of the day they’re making music that other bands would’nt dare do because other bands are too afraid to go there and hollywood undead are growing very popular, so i’d prepare for a nu metal revival motherfuckers