O METAL MIKE, WHERE ART THOU?

And this is what happens when Axl’s hungover ass is late to the MetalSucks Mansion; Vince watches Mets highlight reels all morning long. Kind of like how Axl will surely watch Stanley Kubrick films all day long when I’m out on my joy ride tomorrow.

Ah, Metal Mike. The glory days of Metsdom. When one majestic swing could instantly change the fate of a game and turn everything around. When this team had hope, energy and enthusiasm. When John Franco would come in and shut the door (well, ok, maybe not). Carlos Delgado is a hero for 2008… But Metal Mike, he is not. D-Wright is the great white hope, but he lacks the flair. Jose, Jose, Jose is the closest thing we’ve got, but he too lacks the charisma and class when he throws temper tantrums on the field. So let’s retire #31 already; shall we?

Sigh. 2008 seems hopeless, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not ever yet… But really, it is. Why even watch? This is too excruciating and heartbreaking to bother.

-VN