Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

TOO BIG TO FART

  • Gary Suarez
120

TOO BIG TO FART
With the American economy in the toilet, our government is chomping at the bit ready with a dubious bailout that will flush away our tax dollars to save the greedy capitalist pigdogs down on Wall Street. Rewarding the bastards who got fat off the housing and credit bubbles at our expense makes me sick to my possibly ulcerous stomach, but at the end of the day, the American people are too stupid to grasp economic principles. Frankly, youse metalheads are an especially dumb breed, and those of you who actually consider yourselves Republicans should be out in the streets screaming bloody murder over this violation of your so-called principles. But you won’t, because freedom isn’t free. Thankfully, you’ve got excellent taste in music, so here’s your noise news.

Tantamount To GVSB Unplugged
Paramount Styles, the stripped back solo project of Girls Against Boys vocalist Scott McCloud, has managed to peel himself off that barstool long enough to grace us with some live appearances in support of his excellent debut Failure American Style. He’ll play a handful of mostly East Coast gigs in October, including one during the CMJ Marathon in his hometown of NYC, before flying overseas in November to blanket Eastern Europe and Italy with his grizzled cautionary tales set to acoustic guitar. The West Coast of the U.S. of A will receive some love in January 2009, or so McCloud promises. Sadly, GVS remains on “official hiatus.”

Daydreaming Across The Nation
Depending on where you reside, there’s a fair possibility that someone from Sonic Youth is playing in your time zone this weekend. Tonight, Kim Gordon will perform at the Montalvo Arts Center in Saratoga, CA with some of the most talented ladies in experimental music, namely Ikue Mori, Zeena Parkins, and Boredoms drummer/Free Kitten cohort Yoshimi P-We. Fantomas bassist Trevor Dunn will also participate. The next day, Saturday, Sonic Youth guitarist Lee Ranaldo serves as the special guest of the Bang On A Can All-Stars at the University Of Illinois Urbana-Champaign’s Krannert Center. Later that night, further east, Thurston Moore brings Northampton Wools guitar noise onslaught to New York’s The Stone as part of JG Thirlwell’s curating month there. Performances are at 8pm and 10pm, and no advance tickets are available. Now free of their major label recording contract, Sonic Youth recently signed a deal with Matador Records, which they share with Fucked Up and a bunch of bands I don’t care about at all whatsoever.

Love Shack, Baby!
Rockabilly raconteurs Th’ Legendary Shack*Shakers may not have a new album as of yet, but that’s not stopping them from revving up their mobile pulpit and taking the sideshow on the road. Earlier this year, frontman Wilkes tapped Duane Denison, best known for his work in The Jesus Lizard and Tomahawk, to replace guitarist David Lee, and this is an opportunity to catch the latest lineup in action. In related news, current Hank Williams III cohort and erstwhile Shack*Shaker Joe Buck has a comparatively more extensive solo tour of his own underway that will take him from sea to shining sea and then back to Tennessee by mid-December.

Why Haven’t You Heard Of DETHSCALATOR?
Most bloggers are content to “research” bands using the Internet as a lazy tool. A few others actually attend local shows, frequently with the proviso that the label or publicity firm promoting these groups offer up comp admission and the occasional drink ticket in the hopes of reciprocity. And then, there are the ravenous mavericks like yours truly, unafraid of the financial and social consequences of hopping a transatlantic flight, traveling hours by tube and rail, and ultimately putting shabby sneakers to cobbled pavement and cow-infested footpaths just to see some promising unsigned noise rock act play through shitty gear in the claustrophobic confines of a cramped pub backroom in the middle of fucking nowhere. That kind of gonzo devotion to subjective music journalism is as rare these days as a heterosexual Republican congressman restraining himself from wantonly fellating stranger after hirsute stranger in the semi-privacy of an airport bathroom. For that, dear readers, you’d best be grateful for the sacrifices I’ve made to introduce you lot to Dethscalator. The least you could do is give the band a listen.

Until next time: courtesy flushes are for chumps.

-GS

Gary Suarez is recovering from a cold. He also writes for Brainwashed and occasionally manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No.

Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits