BAND NAMED AFTER POPULAR GRAPHIC NOVEL NOT LIKELY TO SEE SALES INCREASE AFTER RELEASE OF FILM ADAPTATION

Z Records, a label no one has ever heard of, is proud to announce the signing of Watchmen, a band from South America that is neither Sepultura nor Krisiun.

The news confirmed what many of the band members’ girlfriends already feared: that director Zack Snyder’s soon to be released, heavily anticipated adaptation of Alan Moore’s much beloved graphic novel, Watchmen, will do little to nothing for the band’s record sales.

“If they’d signed to a decent label that could actually promote them, maybe people would buy their new album thinking it had something to do with the movie,” said a source close to the band, who agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity. “But on Z Records, no one is gonna know what the fuck this band is. People will spend their misplaced adoration for Watchmen the movie on smiley faced pins instead.”

SmileyWorld Ltd., the company that owns the license to the smiley face, could not be reached for comment.

-AR