BLOGRONAUT: WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008 at 4:37pm by Sacha Dunable
[Welcome to the first installment of Blogronaut, in which the accomplished Intronaut guitarist pontificates on life, the world, life in the world, and the over-abundance of bad actors in L.A. We hope you like his writing as much as you do his music. - Ed.]
Hello, MetalSucks readers! Welcome to the semi-official Introblog. I throw in the “semi” due to there already being an Introblog, which is the fully official Intronaut news blog, located at http://blogronaut.blogspot.com. Anyway, that’s enough plugging my own endeavors (like Intronaut’s new album Prehistoricisms which came out 9/16 and is in stores now!) for today.
I want to thank the dudes at MetalSucks for giving me this opportunity to shorten the gap between me and the rest of the world, allowing me to make known what I need to make known. I look forward to throwing some seriously scathing verbal blows at the unsuspecting surfers of the world wide web. Fortunately, since I just got off tour and am on the hunt for a new job, I have plenty to gripe about.
I also have some interactive blogging action planned for this installment, in the form of a game called “Who Wants To Give Me A Job?” It’s a lot of fun. You win by giving me a job lead in Los Angeles. I have experience in everything from waiting in a white tablecloth restaurant, to being security at a night club, to making cappuccinos. Plus I am in an awesome band (this is usually where the interview goes south)! No, this is not a joke. You can contact me through the Intronaut myspace. It is really hard to find a job in this city. I once heard a statistic that like 10,000 people move to LA every day. That probably includes those who immigrate here both “legally” and “illegally”. You probably think I’m going to take this somewhere controversial, and I sort of am.
Most of you have probably overheard someone you know or someone in your family make a comment regarding “illegal immigrants taking our jobs.” Since I’ve never even thought to apply for a day laboring position outside Home Depot, I am going to have to call bullshit on that whole stance. I have a different enemy in the job marketplace, and they are called actors. This city, especially in my general vicinity, is flooded with people who move to LA aspiring to “make it” in the entertainment industry. And guess what, while they wait to hit it big, they are applying for the same service jobs as I am. If a restaurant puts out an open interview ad on craigslist you can guarantee that 30 people, headshots in tow, will all show up ten minutes early. It’s ridiculous. As I’m typing this, I’m having the idea to make my own fake ad for the same date and time as the job I’m trying to get. I bet that would throw at least half of these people off the scent of potential employment and give me an advantage.
So, what I’m proposing is some new local immigration laws. The city of Los Angeles should have some sort of regulation that caps the number of people who move here from, say, Ohio or whatever, to become movie stars, songwriters, et cetera, et cetera. Maybe a screening process to see if they are even worth a shit? This would be doing them a favor as much as it does us, seeing as though 99.9% of them are going to fail anyway. I have worked with many people like this in the past, and while watching someone slowly destroy themselves with debt, recreational drug use, and failure is somewhat amusing, I’d rather not have them out there, “takin’ mah jawbs.”
In the meantime, Century Media’s warehouse is really busy right now, and they (in a serious bro move), hired me for the week to help with inventory. I just want to say that I love these people. Way to be not only a record label, but like a heavy metal Red Cross or something. Metal may have ruined my life, but it saves it sometimes too.
Anyway, the winner of “Who Wants To Give Me A Job” will be showered with my adoration for years to come. And a bunch of free merch if you want it.
- Sacha Dunable
Play a gig in Ireland first and I’ll see what I can do.
Dude, that totally sucks. I hope you find a job. Shits rough nowanddays. I can only imagine the trouble for someone like you to find a job when you probably gotta leave every few months on tour. Do you even mention that you are in a band in your job interviews? I probably wouldn’t! heh.
Intronaut is rad and this is a shitty time to be looking for a job!
I saw you guys play with Behold…the Arctopus and Mouth of the Architect last month and I just wanted to say this:
I don’t really like your band beyond the HUGE, epic metal grooves you guys would lay down. I mean, it’s shitastic prog-rock and the BAM I’m kicked in the head by some groove you guys have. So here’s my point: less tech-prog, MOAR METAL!
Good luck, brother. I’m kinda in the same boat, I’m looking for a job as well. Actually not too far from LA either (Simi Valley). The problem here is there are absolutely no jobs. The few that are here require experience that I don’t have. The only other available jobs are driving jobs. And since my experience is in that particular field, I could have a job in two days…if I had a car. But alas, I cannot save up for a car without getting a non-driving job first. It’s a vicious circle, and the job market today is just awful. I wish you luck, I know what it’s like…
Just thought I’d be the asshole and point out that it’s “jerbs”, not “jawbs”.
boy you got a perfectly tight butthole and cute face…go out there an earn money like a real man
take it up the pooper and receive rimjobs for $10 an hour.
Hey I’ve got a job for ya, you can be my guitar tech, and clean my bong. If after 6 months your skills are worthy, then you will be promoted to moving my car every 3 days so I don’t get any more parking tickets, that would be swell.
thanks for coming out saturday and drinking my beer, means a lot to me.
jun jun jun jun, da jun na jun
[...] Intronaut guitarist and maverick Sacha Dunable wrote his first blog for MetalSucks. And the dude really needs a job. Won’t someone help out a fellow headbanger in need? [...]
LA has been completely overrun by low rent actors, rock stars who don’t play instruments (or own pa’s) and metrosexuals. There are so many of them now the workforce has become infested with ‘em. It’s a sad situation and I feel for you bro. So, here’s what you do. It’s gonna suck, but it just might work.
Go undercover übersexual. Pose as a metrogerb.
You’re cute enough. Get your metrorig together and go where the money is. You know… Beverly Hills, Bel Air, Malibu, and the like. Get a job in the “service” industry at a high end joint. If you get a fauxhawk, frost the tips and bring a head shot to the place you’re a shoe in.
But then you would have to change the name of your band to Metronaut.
Sacha, move the fuck out of L.A. county. too many pseudo gays, wetbacks and loser wannabe actors without the looks or talent. Either move you and the band up north to the bay area, or to the East Coast (The Worst Coast. Yeah, Fuck you.), whatever you do stay far away fsom the I.E., and orange county. no jobs, more dochebags and wetbacks than you can shake a stick at. Its either that or get into gay porn..
Wetbacks?? And logically speaking, WTF is a “pseudo-gay”?
yes. the bay area has moar jobs. you guys can be my neighbors :)
Intronaut are insane wicked. Play Halifax. I really hope you don’t have to find a job, your tunes should be paying the way.
Sacha: Screw that constant record/tour/find-new-job cycle and just have Intronaut play Eagles and Skynyrd covers outside of Hollywood & Highland on a nightly basis. You could be the house band at famous corners throughout the southland.
[...] Intronaut have started a “Blogronaut” at Metal Sucks. [...]
Agree with groovyghoul – the fact that Intronaut members have to still worry about finding goofy day jobs is a shame. You guys have proven yourselves and are on a ‘major’ label. Good musicians such as yourselves should be free to simply play, write, and be artistic. Anyway, I’m so glad you guys came to Tampa and I got a chance to make it to the show several weeks back. Keep it up!
If you’re trying get a job doing something other than waiting or food service, West L.A. Music on Santa Monica is (seemingly) hiring all the time. There’s always new dudes there every time I go in.
word.