BLOGRONAUT: “DEAR METALLICA; LET ME WRITE SONGS FOR YOU.”
Friday, October 10th, 2008 at 3:26pm by Sacha Dunable
I’m going to talk about Metallica and their new record. Now, I’m sure this topic has been beaten to death in metal social circles by now, judging from all the opinions on this site alone, but I am going to offer something that no one has so far – a solution.
I read Dallas Coyle’s recent blog on this very subject, and while I share his level of adoration for this band, I’m going to have to refute one main point he made; arguing that Death Magnetic is a good album. It really isn’t, in my eyes. It wasn’t in the eyes of many others either, based on a quick skim of MetalSucks. But let me ask, did you really expect it to be? The last time everyone liked the latest Metallica record, the first Bush was in office. I haven’t expected anything resembling greatness out of this band in a long time, because I know that they’ve lost their edge. That’s not an insult, its an ironic occurance in life, not unlike waiting twelve years to grow hair on your balls, only to lose it on your head fifteen years later. Just like pretty much every once-great rock musician ever, that flame of inspiration has been blown out by age, money, Bob Rock, or whatever else that will make you a different person than you were when you wrote the good shit.
As Death Magnetic proves, its going to take more than Rick Rubin coming in and trying to “produce” these guys back into sounding like Metallica (to which I’ll admit, he came very close). The record sounds almost as bare bones as “…And Justice For All”, and even includes some elements (palm muting, guitar solos, double bass) that sound like a metal band. The only thing missing here is the riffs. And the dynamics. And maybe some songs whose quality justifies them being eight minutes long.
So here is my solution; stop writing music. I don’t mean stop making albums and touring. You obviously love doing it, and I, as an unconditional fan wouldn’t ever wish for your career to end. If The Rolling Stones are allowed to remain active, then you certainly should be. But let someone else come in and help write your songs for you. Ok, more specifically, let me write your songs for you!
Many multi-platinum artists who are past their creative prime have had outside parties come in and co-write with them. A perfect example is Ozzy Osbourne. Here is a guy who over twenty years put out a bunch of records with Black Sabbath, then went solo, making albums that progressively became diluted versions of themselves. At some point in the late 80’s, someone – presumably while listening to “Crazy Babies”, the single from 1988’s No Rest For The Wicked – had the bright idea to bring in some fresh blood to the songwriting team. Between the combined efforts of Motorhead’s Lemmy and a young-and-hungry Zakk Wylde, 1990’s No More Tears is a front to back assault of hard rock hits. All it took was a couple objective ears, who understood what Ozzy stands for and what fans want from him, to oversee the songwriting process.
This is similar to the service I am offering Metallica. Listening to Death Magnetic, I hear music that is almost up to par with the twenty-years-younger them. Hindsight is 20/20, but if you had given me a month with them after they had written and demoed these songs, we would have sat there and fleshed 90% of this music out a bit more, adding those classic Metallica harmonies, coloring up the clean parts, throwing away shit solos (“what’s up Kirk, I thought you were Guitar World’s 1988 player of the year?”), and spending a little more time coaching the vocals (“come on, show me the Hetfield! EYEAH-EYEAH-NOOOO-AH!”). I’ve listened to Metallica since I was a little kid, and I know exactly what the disillusioned fans are missing from this band. Sure, these days Metallica could shit on a plate and it would sell 500,000 copies in the first week, but wouldn’t it be that much more rewarding if they were actually reclaiming the metal throne at the same time?
If you are really trying to recapture that classic Metallica essence, you guys are on the right track, just not quite there. I know my band has sold about 0.034% the records you have, but I am confident that I could whip you guys into shape so you can put out a record that matters again. I’ll charge you one quarter of what you paid Rick Rubin. In fact, I’ll even offer a money-back guarantee that you’ll win over all the nay-saying fans who might have given up on you. This is all out of love for you guys. I want you to have a long and fruitful career, playing stadiums and putting out records until you physically can’t anymore. Think about it, dudes.
-SD
Amen. It’s safe to say Metallica are viewed as sell-outs, nobody SHOULD care who wrote the music if it’s good. At this point, I think people wouldn’t care at all if Metallica isn’t writing their own music if it’s passable as Thrash. I know I would rather hear shit they didn’t write if it’s closer to “Ride the Lightning” than “St. Anger” and not the half breed spawn of those two.
Besides, you’ve got Municipal Waste, Warbringer, Evile, etc. (pretty much 1/2 of Earache’s lineup) putting out stuff people will listen to over Death Magnetic in a second, even if it’s not pure Thrash.
Well at least Metalsucks isn’t beating this dead horse of a subject to death.
(For you with IQs below 105, that was sarcasm.)
^^ While I was going to point out the obvious missing words in Sammy’s post, I started thinking about it. Do people with multiple personalities have different IQs? Like, is the charming but manipulative side smarter than the naive but sweet side? Just a thought.
That actually sounds like a great idea, having outsiders write Metallica songs. Except, take it a step further; have multiple songwriters write Metallica songs, which they then perform, to great acclaim. It’d be interesting to see what people completely outside the thrash spectrum would write, like Mike Patton or Steve Asheim from Deicide. Sure it would sound like Metallica (since they would be playing it, duh) but an outsider’s perspective is always a welcome thing.
I think Lars and I are the only people on the planet who really enjoyed St. Anger. The new record was just okay. It wasn’t horrible (no Metallica record has been horrible in my opinion), but it wasn’t great, just kinda…meh. The instrumental and the singles were the best tracks. I would rather have had St. Anger pt. 2 with long guitar solos and leads.
**yawns**
This album wouldve been cool if it came out in between AJFA and the Black Album..
A nice attempt but it dont make up for the past 20 years of SHIT.
But hey at least nowadays they can ProTools Lars so he actually plays in time!
Hey Sacha if you start writing for em can you steal the masters of AJFA and put the bass back in the mix??
A = Dead Subject
B = Will Never Happen
A B = why did I read this
monotremata has a good point, I was writing death magnetic style riffs in freshman year, right around the black album’s release. I probably would have loved this album back then. alas.
so, you mean none of you guys had hair on your balls at 8 years old? maybe I should write metallica’s songs instead. JUN JUN JUN NOWU-WHOA-AH!!!
I don’t give a flying fuck who writes the songs as long as the finished product is worth listening to and Death Magnetic just isn’t. The music on everything since the Black Album isn’t want I have a problem with it’s the fucking songs. James was a great song writer in the early years, everything since needs some serious help. I have no problem with them hiring a song writer as long as the songs are good. The lyrics on Death Magnetic suck ass!! The music gives us a glimpse of the greatness that was once there but the lyrics suck balls! Metallica needs to find someone, anyfuckingone, that can put the attitue and metal back in Metallica. I’m not asking for MoP Part II, I’m asking for something that even shows that greatness once again, and Death Magnetic ain’t it.
i’m glad you guys agree with me. since i still don’t have a job, someone please send Metallica a link to this blog. thanks.
Yes We Koran
Read all about Obama’s homosexual tendencies
google “Larry Sinclair Obama”
Why did I read this? If you don’t like the new shit why are you even talking about it. You guys are negative Metallica obsessive. Even if you do like it you won’t say it because all the other tards on here made it unpopular. Sorry old farts, but here is a reality check. It’s 2008, and it’s never gonna be 1985 ever again. Grow up or fuck off, retards. Talk about beating a dead horse, someone should beat the next fucker who posts anything on this subject, to death.
So gatrios, You’re a homophobe too?
Sacha, I think you’re on the right track. I still think DM kicks ass though!
# shutthefuckupaboutitalready! Says:
October 11th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Why did I read this? If you don’t like the new shit why are you even talking about it. You guys are negative Metallica obsessive. Even if you do like it you won’t say it because all the other tards on here made it unpopular. Sorry old farts, but here is a reality check. It’s 2008, and it’s never gonna be 1985 ever again. Grow up or fuck off, retards. Talk about beating a dead horse, someone should beat the next fucker who posts anything on this subject, to death.
yet here you are, posting about it.
Metal doesn’t begin and end with Metallica. There’s been plenty of good records released over the past year or two to the point where it didn’t really matter to me whether the new Metallica was good or not. Luckily, I enjoyed it. If it sucked, I would’ve just listened to something else.
I understand that it’s hard not to talk about Metallica without existing in a vacuum.
But remember this…
It wasn’t and won’t be the only CD released this year. Relax.
Go listen to something you like. Up your dose ten more milligrams. Everything’s going to be OK.
And if not, it’s looking like you’ll all have Chinese Democracy to harp on about soon enough.
Great (and very funny) article. Certainly shits all over any article Dallas Coyle has ever penned for this site.
Sacha, personally I being a huge intro-newt fan, I believe you, Joe,Dave and Danny should slowly poison all of metallica, and just take their place…like..you should just start dressing up like Hetfield and hang around him all the time till he withers away….then YOU are Hetfield. Get it?
then you make the moneys
and teh fame
and teh haggered middle aged womens
and bad tans.
sound good?
I didn,t start to learn guitar untill I was twenty one years old.Now fifteen years later I can,t say it was a bad choice.Ive gotten very good, and I did it by using Metallicas transcription books [R.T.L.-A.J.F.A.] from cherry lane.Ive lways wanted to thank Metallica for making such inspirational music that I could achieve something so difficult.
Yea sure Slayer, and Pantera are great bands as well, but it was that intensely penitrating Metallica sound that made me feel the burning need to be able to play.
After twelve to thirteen years of consistant practice I still can’t play those songs correctly, but at least when I try I can feel an adrenalating rush of intense energy fueled by the knowledge of extraordinary acomplishment, and kick-a.. rhythmic sound.
THANK YOU METALLICA.