FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN OVERCAST, AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE, ONE WAY MIRROR AND FALCONER CDs!
Monday, October 13th, 2008 at 5:26pm by MetalSucks
Congrats to the winners of last week’s Funny Photo Caption contest, our most popular one ever, and with good reason: these two lucky cats each get vinyl copies of Protest the Hero’s Fortress and Kezia:
Alex: “Over A Billion Faces Melted.”
TedTedPoleyPoley: “A typical band rehearsal day… as seen from the eyes of Vinnie Paul.”
This week we’re giving away a four-pack of Metal Blade CDs; Overcast’s Reborn to Kill Again, Falconer’s Among Beggars and Thieves, One Way Mirror’s self-titled debut and Austrian Death Machine’s Total Brutal. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo and they’re all yours. [Thanks to Sammy for the pic.]
“I came here to super-size my gut and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
Introducing the new Primordial mascot!
Ohhh…so that’s what they meant by Folk Metal
Anal sex enthusiast Angus McGillicutty’s review of the new Kiss brand haggis flavored lubricant. While giving the devil horns, he proclaims “It’s fookin’ graaaate, I score a hole in one every time, especially with your wee laddies mothers”
Your mother couldn’t be reached for comment, but was seen giving an enthusiastic thumbs up.
Talking in Austin Powers accent: ”Do I make you horny, baby? Do I?”
Wow! Zakk Wylde has really let himself go.
“Scottish pirate metal band Alestorm’s hurt to find a new frontman was going well”
Vince Neil decided to embrace his Scottish heritage.
Will Ferrell stars in his new metal comedy film “Grim McReaper”
the birth of jock cock rock
Hanes Axl Rose’s way
Axl Rose exposed! The first promo picture with the rumored release of Chinese Democracy next month. Axl says he is fine and can’t wait for Steve Adler to come out of celebrity rehab to join the tour.
Angus Young finally decides to try a new wardrobe on stage.
Man, Rowdy Roddy sure has let himself go :(
“theres nothin’ more i like than a little metal with my incest”
Alexi Vaiho’s Grim Reaper tattoo is the only recognizable feature left on this once great guitar hero…
“Bowelstorm… True Scottish Diaper Metal”
Okay, so there IS something worse than showing up to a party with a boner in sweatpants.
Open yer hole for a fried Mars Bar roll…….MacMetal!
and Carrot Top has his 24 Hour Fitness membership revoked….
What was Sammy doing on http://www.boners.com that’s what I want to know.
Chad Smith gearing up for the Chicken Foot recording sessions with his adult sized “Depends” undergarments. The RHCP cock cock is SO last Century.
Err Typo..
Chad Smith gearing up for the Chicken Foot recording sessions with his adult sized “Depends” undergarments. The RHCP cock sock is SO last century.
“W.T.F.”
“Groundskeeper Willie on his nights off.”
tiger woods before his pigmentation and metal removal operations
Reason number four that Scottish Metal is not popular around the world has been the unappealing molester at the circus look of the front man of Scotland’s number one metal band The Iron Kilt.
SLAYER!!!!
Corey Taylor on the set of the new Slipknot DVD, “Granny Panties”
1. The new poster boy for Scotland’s version of Depends Undergarments …
2. If it’s no Scottish, it’s Crack!
3. Humpty Dumpty had a few too many…
Every Friday night, my father would stumble into my and bellow that it was time for me to “get caught in a mosh”. I cried every time.
Boners are metal.
The Winds of Plague’s keyboardist’s actual topless mirror photo.
Can’t rightfully knock this one, now that I’ve successfully beaten off to it…
There are dudes you want to get drunk with…and then there’s these guys
Dude the Falconer and Overcast album is really good :) ha
Drugs are bad. Don’t do drugs boys and girls. M’kay.
McManus, metal!
Oh snap, Is that what Jack Osbourne been up to
Drunkbob Metalpants
Dad?
Huggies Ireland is trying a new campaign to keep customers comfy from the crib to the retirement-home.
[sung] I’m A Metal-Head Now!
Gingervitus, scourge of the Glaswegian metal scene.
“If Only Dave Would Have Stayed In Metallica”
These contests fucking rock. Only posts I care enough to read through all the comments on!
My entry:
“Another run-of-the-mill Saturday at the MetalSucks Mansion.”
What we have here is a clear violation of section 101.532(b) of the Geneva Convention.
No Scottish person shall ever throw up the horns while wearing
a metal arm band or shackel.
However the underwear is a violation of common decency!
After years of loving hot women and losing them to time, the Highlander has let himself go and start a new profession as a merch guy at folk metal festivals.
oops forgot:
A) FOOKIN’ SLAYER!
B) Incest is alive and well in Scotland.
brian slagel 15 years ago,
After I pull me dick back out of me spleen, It’s gonna be metal up’n yuir ass boyo!
If ya love my body, and ya think IM Sexy, Come on suga let me KNowwww!!!
Stephanie Seymour’s recurring nightmare about her wedding night to Axl (w/ “Get In The Ring” as the background music)
btw apparently i won the last one!? awesome, hehe. Axl/Vince, you guys need my address or do you still have it from last time?
Pain Stewart- lead vox
STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT-
Vince McMahon, the CEO of WWE, has been in talks with Jim “Hacksaw” Duggan to bring the more contemporary image back to the ring that was once lost years ago. If this deal were to go through, he would be entitled to a multi-year contract worth around $400,000/year.
McMahon feels however, that the “Hacksaw” moniker has run it’s course, and has decided to make him more appealing to today’s “metal head” generation of watchers. “Firecrotch McBonesaw”, “Haggis Destroyer”, and “Fat old guy with a wig, a hat, red underwear, and a strange rash on his inner thigh” are a few of many options of which to brand the wrestler. When asked to comment on the situation, he simply replied “Hoooooooooooo!!!!!”.
Seamus O’Frontbutt says: “Lamb O’God melted me fuckin’ kilt!”
Turisas newest groupie erin go BBLLLAAAAAAAGHHHHH
Farquar O’Reilly bemoans his recent firing from Sunn O)))) for having “too much bottom end.”
Minus the wig, Sarah Palin ain’t lookin’ so hot, you betcha!
Props to Corey..
Palin has to much SLED not enuff DOGS as depicted by this photo hijacked from her hacked yahoo account.
Boston’s own Dropkick Murphy’s long after the the money train ran out on the soundtrack to “The Departed”. Now hoping for a Greatest HIT tour.
After his minor relapse with Elf, Will Ferril’s career just keeps getting better.
My bad, if I’d read the comments already, I would’ve seen that Seagoat beat me to the Will Ferrill resemblence. And got the correct spelling of his last name…
Goober McCain couldn’t understand why great granddad, John McCain, wouldn’t let him campaign for him.
Introducing the new music genre “Haggis-Core”.
Danny Noonan never got that scholarship……
Happy Gilmore’s protege, Seamus “Big Britches” O’Leary.
bozo the clown’s dark side
“There can be only one!”
the faceless add yet another ‘core’ in their genre listing, after they add bagpipes and a professional bagpiper into the group
Psychostick’s new drummer, Fluffles
When Braveheart made his freedom speech I don’t think this is what he had on his mind!
The Scottish Super Mario crawls out of Nintendo’s dark pit of secrets.
NEWS FLASH… Glen Danzig is in the studio putting the finishing touches on a cd for his new Scottish-Folk metal project, Bloody Bagpipes.
Welcome, visitor, to the official DWARF (Drunken Woodworking Accident Rehabilitation Forum) website!
Today is a special day, as we’ve been graced with the presence of Scottie “Two Fingers” McNally(pictured above), who is here to promote his new band “Two Finger Death Poke” and bring awareness to those who feel they are uneducated in the subject of ground, chopped, diced, and julianned fingers in the today’s woodworking industry.
Typo.. my bad yo!
Welcome, visitor, to the official DWARF (Drunken Woodworking Accident Rehabilitation Forum) website!
Today is a special day, as we’ve been graced with the presence of Scottie “Two Fingers” McNally(pictured above), who is here to promote his new band “Two Finger Death Poke” and bring awareness to those who feel they are uneducated in the subject of ground, chopped, diced, and julianned fingers in today’s woodworking industry.
slipknot’s new band member, Grimhaggis
Here we see another young scotsman making yet another desperate attempt to “fit in” to the american society.
“Meet awesome hotties like Johny McHaggis at boners.com”
Scottish metalheads have not completely adapted to the modern metal scene…
“I’m too sexy for this Hat, too sexy for this Hat…what’cha think about that?
[...] because it’s been a minute since the last Funny Photo Caption Contest doesn’t mean uncles Axl and Vince forgot about ya; we’ve just been listening to the new [...]
They may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!
- Braveheart quote