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FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN OVERCAST, AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE, ONE WAY MIRROR AND FALCONER CDs!

Monday, October 13th, 2008 at 5:26pm by

wilildlifeCongrats to the winners of last week’s Funny Photo Caption contest, our most popular one ever, and with good reason: these two lucky cats each get vinyl copies of Protest the Hero’s Fortress and Kezia:

Alex: “Over A Billion Faces Melted.”

TedTedPoleyPoley: “A typical band rehearsal day… as seen from the eyes of Vinnie Paul.”

This week we’re giving away a four-pack of Metal Blade CDs; Overcast’s Reborn to Kill Again, Falconer’s Among Beggars and Thieves, One Way Mirror’s self-titled debut and Austrian Death Machine’s Total Brutal. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo and they’re all yours. [Thanks to Sammy for the pic.]

scottish funny metal dude

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  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “I came here to super-size my gut and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum.”

  • Sean

    Introducing the new Primordial mascot!

  • Max

    Ohhh…so that’s what they meant by Folk Metal

  • Jim

    Anal sex enthusiast Angus McGillicutty’s review of the new Kiss brand haggis flavored lubricant. While giving the devil horns, he proclaims “It’s fookin’ graaaate, I score a hole in one every time, especially with your wee laddies mothers”

    Your mother couldn’t be reached for comment, but was seen giving an enthusiastic thumbs up.

  • cj

    Talking in Austin Powers accent: ”Do I make you horny, baby? Do I?”

  • Austin Millbarge

    Wow! Zakk Wylde has really let himself go.

  • jonowev

    “Scottish pirate metal band Alestorm’s hurt to find a new frontman was going well”

  • Jenna

    Vince Neil decided to embrace his Scottish heritage.

  • seagoat

    Will Ferrell stars in his new metal comedy film “Grim McReaper”

  • dropdeadfred

    the birth of jock cock rock

  • palinaborted

    Hanes Axl Rose’s way

  • Ike Clanton

    Axl Rose exposed! The first promo picture with the rumored release of Chinese Democracy next month. Axl says he is fine and can’t wait for Steve Adler to come out of celebrity rehab to join the tour.

  • lern2swim

    Angus Young finally decides to try a new wardrobe on stage.

  • Jim

    Man, Rowdy Roddy sure has let himself go :(

  • jesus

    “theres nothin’ more i like than a little metal with my incest”

  • http://myspace.com/Rican_Zombie Andres

    Alexi Vaiho’s Grim Reaper tattoo is the only recognizable feature left on this once great guitar hero…

  • Name Not Applicable

    “Bowelstorm… True Scottish Diaper Metal”

  • Sammy

    Okay, so there IS something worse than showing up to a party with a boner in sweatpants.

  • Insomnivore

    Open yer hole for a fried Mars Bar roll…….MacMetal!

  • Patrick

    and Carrot Top has his 24 Hour Fitness membership revoked….

  • Dr J

    What was Sammy doing on http://www.boners.com that’s what I want to know.

  • Follow4now

    Chad Smith gearing up for the Chicken Foot recording sessions with his adult sized “Depends” undergarments. The RHCP cock cock is SO last Century.

  • Follow4now

    Err Typo..
    Chad Smith gearing up for the Chicken Foot recording sessions with his adult sized “Depends” undergarments. The RHCP cock sock is SO last century.

  • Tim

    “W.T.F.”

  • Tim

    “Groundskeeper Willie on his nights off.”

  • cpo

    tiger woods before his pigmentation and metal removal operations

  • http://outthrowingroses.blogspot.com Matthew

    Reason number four that Scottish Metal is not popular around the world has been the unappealing molester at the circus look of the front man of Scotland’s number one metal band The Iron Kilt.

  • jared aurand

    SLAYER!!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/jay234t Jason

    Corey Taylor on the set of the new Slipknot DVD, “Granny Panties”

  • http://www.sickdrummermagazine.com Ian

    1. The new poster boy for Scotland’s version of Depends Undergarments …
    2. If it’s no Scottish, it’s Crack!
    3. Humpty Dumpty had a few too many…

  • Stolas Trephinator

    Every Friday night, my father would stumble into my and bellow that it was time for me to “get caught in a mosh”. I cried every time.

  • Tyler

    Boners are metal.

  • Malacoda

    The Winds of Plague’s keyboardist’s actual topless mirror photo.

  • Harry Ballsagna

    Can’t rightfully knock this one, now that I’ve successfully beaten off to it…

  • Kevin

    There are dudes you want to get drunk with…and then there’s these guys

  • Matthew Moore

    Dude the Falconer and Overcast album is really good :) ha

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    Drugs are bad. Don’t do drugs boys and girls. M’kay.

  • Willis

    McManus, metal!

  • http://www.myspace.com/yeahmono Supermono

    Oh snap, Is that what Jack Osbourne been up to

  • jeremy

    Drunkbob Metalpants

  • http://www.myspace.com/terrybeans84 terrybeans84

    Dad?

  • Scott

    Huggies Ireland is trying a new campaign to keep customers comfy from the crib to the retirement-home.
    [sung] I’m A Metal-Head Now!

  • Matt from New Zealand

    Gingervitus, scourge of the Glaswegian metal scene.

  • doublejtrain

    “If Only Dave Would Have Stayed In Metallica”

  • http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/ Conor

    These contests fucking rock. Only posts I care enough to read through all the comments on!

    My entry:

    “Another run-of-the-mill Saturday at the MetalSucks Mansion.”

  • http://www.nobudgettv.com C.J. the D.J.

    What we have here is a clear violation of section 101.532(b) of the Geneva Convention.
    No Scottish person shall ever throw up the horns while wearing
    a metal arm band or shackel.

    However the underwear is a violation of common decency!

  • Dan

    After years of loving hot women and losing them to time, the Highlander has let himself go and start a new profession as a merch guy at folk metal festivals.

  • Dan

    oops forgot:

    A) FOOKIN’ SLAYER!

    B) Incest is alive and well in Scotland.

  • earthsherm

    brian slagel 15 years ago,

  • Muttweiler

    After I pull me dick back out of me spleen, It’s gonna be metal up’n yuir ass boyo!

  • Walker

    If ya love my body, and ya think IM Sexy, Come on suga let me KNowwww!!!

  • TedTedPoleyPoley

    Stephanie Seymour’s recurring nightmare about her wedding night to Axl (w/ “Get In The Ring” as the background music)

    btw apparently i won the last one!? awesome, hehe. Axl/Vince, you guys need my address or do you still have it from last time?

  • cornblood

    Pain Stewart- lead vox

  • jesse

    STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT-
    Vince McMahon, the CEO of WWE, has been in talks with Jim “Hacksaw” Duggan to bring the more contemporary image back to the ring that was once lost years ago. If this deal were to go through, he would be entitled to a multi-year contract worth around $400,000/year.

    McMahon feels however, that the “Hacksaw” moniker has run it’s course, and has decided to make him more appealing to today’s “metal head” generation of watchers. “Firecrotch McBonesaw”, “Haggis Destroyer”, and “Fat old guy with a wig, a hat, red underwear, and a strange rash on his inner thigh” are a few of many options of which to brand the wrestler. When asked to comment on the situation, he simply replied “Hoooooooooooo!!!!!”.

  • b-rad

    Seamus O’Frontbutt says: “Lamb O’God melted me fuckin’ kilt!”

  • vitruvianApe

    Turisas newest groupie erin go BBLLLAAAAAAAGHHHHH

  • http://www.coreymitchell.com Corey Mitchell

    Farquar O’Reilly bemoans his recent firing from Sunn O)))) for having “too much bottom end.”

  • http://www.coreymitchell.com Corey Mitchell

    Minus the wig, Sarah Palin ain’t lookin’ so hot, you betcha!

  • Follow4now

    Props to Corey..

    Palin has to much SLED not enuff DOGS as depicted by this photo hijacked from her hacked yahoo account.

  • Follow4now

    Boston’s own Dropkick Murphy’s long after the the money train ran out on the soundtrack to “The Departed”. Now hoping for a Greatest HIT tour.

  • Dannibal

    After his minor relapse with Elf, Will Ferril’s career just keeps getting better.

  • Dannibal

    My bad, if I’d read the comments already, I would’ve seen that Seagoat beat me to the Will Ferrill resemblence. And got the correct spelling of his last name…

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    Goober McCain couldn’t understand why great granddad, John McCain, wouldn’t let him campaign for him.

  • Austin Millbarge

    Introducing the new music genre “Haggis-Core”.

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    Danny Noonan never got that scholarship……

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    Happy Gilmore’s protege, Seamus “Big Britches” O’Leary.

  • laxpld

    bozo the clown’s dark side

  • Joverkill

    “There can be only one!”

  • Jamie

    the faceless add yet another ‘core’ in their genre listing, after they add bagpipes and a professional bagpiper into the group

  • Andrew

    Psychostick’s new drummer, Fluffles

  • http://www.myspace.com/infernalnoizeradio wayniac

    When Braveheart made his freedom speech I don’t think this is what he had on his mind!

  • Sacajawea

    The Scottish Super Mario crawls out of Nintendo’s dark pit of secrets.

  • http://www.myspace.com/deron666 Supertruck420

    NEWS FLASH… Glen Danzig is in the studio putting the finishing touches on a cd for his new Scottish-Folk metal project, Bloody Bagpipes.

  • jesse

    Welcome, visitor, to the official DWARF (Drunken Woodworking Accident Rehabilitation Forum) website!

    Today is a special day, as we’ve been graced with the presence of Scottie “Two Fingers” McNally(pictured above), who is here to promote his new band “Two Finger Death Poke” and bring awareness to those who feel they are uneducated in the subject of ground, chopped, diced, and julianned fingers in the today’s woodworking industry.

  • jesse

    Typo.. my bad yo!

    Welcome, visitor, to the official DWARF (Drunken Woodworking Accident Rehabilitation Forum) website!

    Today is a special day, as we’ve been graced with the presence of Scottie “Two Fingers” McNally(pictured above), who is here to promote his new band “Two Finger Death Poke” and bring awareness to those who feel they are uneducated in the subject of ground, chopped, diced, and julianned fingers in today’s woodworking industry.

  • Jordan

    slipknot’s new band member, Grimhaggis

  • Andrew

    Here we see another young scotsman making yet another desperate attempt to “fit in” to the american society.

  • Arto

    “Meet awesome hotties like Johny McHaggis at boners.com”

  • Andrew

    Scottish metalheads have not completely adapted to the modern metal scene…

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    “I’m too sexy for this Hat, too sexy for this Hat…what’cha think about that?

  • Pingback: PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST, THE SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EDITION: PHOTOSHOP CORPSEPAINT ON YOURSELF! | MetalSucks

  • Sean

    They may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!
    - Braveheart quote