WINDS OF PLAGUE KEYBOARDIST KRISTEN RANDALL IMAGINES A WORLD IN WHICH MEN DON’T LIKE BREASTS
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 at 11:29am by Axl RosenbergBack in September, a topless photo of Winds of Plague keyboardist Kristen Randall took of herself found its way onto the internet. The best thing Randall could have done at that point probably would have been to just remain silent, ride out the brouhaha, and just let everyone forget it ever happened. Instead, Randall has opted to let a month pass, ride out the brouhaha, let everyone forget it ever happened, and then remind everyone via a stentorian guest entry on Headbanger’s Blog.
Here’s an excerpt, with my own thoughts in bold:
“So, this whole boob picture thing has become ridiculous and I think people should drop it. Actually I haven’t heard anyone talk about it since it happened, but thanks for reminding me. Have y’all never seen a pair of tits before? Do you really think men ever grow tired of seeing tits? I honestly think whoever posted it on the net is a piece of shit If you mean that whatever guy or girl you gave the photo to who subsequently leaked it is a real piece of shit, I agree. If you mean people like me who posted it on our websites, I also generally agree., but it’s out there and there’s nothing I can do, so fuck it. And yet you’re still talking about it right now. My breasts are not enormous, but at least they’re nice. Some of the people who leave comments on this site disagree with you. So I’m over it, and everyone else should get over it. Like I said, we were over it until you just reminded us all again. Nice work, Einstein. They’re just boobs. It’s really startling to me that you don’t understand how so many men never, ever tire of seeing a pair of tits, especially if it’s a) a pair they’ve never seen before, b) a pair not belonging to someone who is sleeping with a friend of theirs, and c) a public figure. I’m sorry, but there’s the way things ‘should’ be and there’s the way things are.
“I think the whole human race should There’s that word again! learn to respect one another This is like the ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, only not really at all, which includes respecting someone’s privacy. It’s 2008 and people are buying porno videos starring Screech. What exactly did you think might happen if you took a topless photo of yourself and shared it with someone? The unintentionally exposed photo has caused an unnecessary stir What’s life like in Idealism Land? and is a false portrayal of myself So those weren’t really your tits? Or you didn’t really take a picture of them yourself? Please explain. and all women out there Well that’s just ridiculous. Your poor decisions in no way reflect on other women. I don’t meet a woman and think ‘Kristen Randall has made some really poor decision so I bet this woman has, too.’ I know plenty of women who realize that taking a topless photo of themselves isn’t the wisest idea in the world, and they’re not even public figures, unlike some people. People need to learn how to respect women People need to learn not to take topless photos of themselves and share them electronically if they’re not prepared for the possibility that said photo might find its way out into the world regardless of being in a band or doing any other occupation that may be viewed as a ‘man’s job.’”
Hey Kristen: I agree with you that there is a lot of sexism in the metal world, and that’s terrible and I hope someday everyone gets over it. But this blog is just delusional. If Lars Ulrich took a picture of his own dick and said picture somehow found its way onto the interweb, we’d be just as likely to post it, if for no other reason than so as to make fun of the fact that he’s hung like a pimple.*
As I said before, the bottom line is that everyone had forgotten about this little incident and you just reminded us all. In fact, you may have even alerted people who weren’t already aware of the photo, and those people will probably now go seek it out, the same way illegal downloads of the Chinese Democracy demos increased following the arrest of the blogger who leaked them. You need to grow some common sense, or, at the very least, hire a publicist. You could have ignored the whole thing, or could have at least had a sense of humor about it and admitted that taking the photo probably wasn’t the wisest decision you’ve ever made, but instead all you did was try to scold people for looking which, at best, shows you have little to no grasp over reality.
And, oh yeah, if you don’t like the idea of men looking at you naked, then you should probably stop posing for photos such as the one above. No one looks at that photo and thinks “I bet her music is really good.” Just saying.
If you’re interested, you can read the rest of Kristen’s blog here.
-AR
*Or so Kirk Hammett tells us.






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