WINDS OF PLAGUE KEYBOARDIST KRISTEN RANDALL IMAGINES A WORLD IN WHICH MEN DON’T LIKE BREASTS

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 at 11:29am by

Back in September, a topless photo of Winds of Plague keyboardist Kristen Randall took of herself found its way onto the internet. The best thing Randall could have done at that point probably would have been to just remain silent, ride out the brouhaha, and just let everyone forget it ever happened. Instead, Randall has opted to let a month pass, ride out the brouhaha, let everyone forget it ever happened, and then remind everyone via a stentorian guest entry on Headbanger’s Blog.

Here’s an excerpt, with my own thoughts in bold:

“So, this whole boob picture thing has become ridiculous and I think people should drop it. Actually I haven’t heard anyone talk about it since it happened, but thanks for reminding me. Have y’all never seen a pair of tits before? Do you really think men ever grow tired of seeing tits? I honestly think whoever posted it on the net is a piece of shit If you mean that whatever guy or girl you gave the photo to who subsequently leaked it is a real piece of shit, I agree. If you mean people like me who posted it on our websites, I also generally agree., but it’s out there and there’s nothing I can do, so fuck it. And yet you’re still talking about it right now. My breasts are not enormous, but at least they’re nice. Some of the people who leave comments on this site disagree with you. So I’m over it, and everyone else should get over it. Like I said, we were over it until you just reminded us all again. Nice work, Einstein. They’re just boobs. It’s really startling to me that you don’t understand how so many men never, ever tire of seeing a pair of tits, especially if it’s a) a pair they’ve never seen before, b) a pair not belonging to someone who is sleeping with a friend of theirs, and c) a public figure. I’m sorry, but there’s the way things ‘should’ be and there’s the way things are.

“I think the whole human race should There’s that word again! learn to respect one another This is like the ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, only not really at all, which includes respecting someone’s privacy. It’s 2008 and people are buying porno videos starring Screech. What exactly did you think might happen if you took a topless photo of yourself and shared it with someone? The unintentionally exposed photo has caused an unnecessary stir What’s life like in Idealism Land? and is a false portrayal of myself So those weren’t really your tits? Or you didn’t really take a picture of them yourself? Please explain. and all women out there Well that’s just ridiculous. Your poor decisions in no way reflect on other women. I don’t meet a woman and think ‘Kristen Randall has made some really poor decision so I bet this woman has, too.’ I know plenty of women who realize that taking a topless photo of themselves isn’t the wisest idea in the world, and they’re not even public figures, unlike some people. People need to learn how to respect women People need to learn not to take topless photos of themselves and share them electronically if they’re not prepared for the possibility that said photo might find its way out into the world regardless of being in a band or doing any other occupation that may be viewed as a ‘man’s job.’”

Hey Kristen: I agree with you that there is a lot of sexism in the metal world, and that’s terrible and I hope someday everyone gets over it. But this blog is just delusional. If Lars Ulrich took a picture of his own dick and said picture somehow found its way onto the interweb, we’d be just as likely to post it, if for no other reason than so as to make fun of the fact that he’s hung like a pimple.*

As I said before, the bottom line is that everyone had forgotten about this little incident and you just reminded us all. In fact, you may have even alerted people who weren’t already aware of the photo, and those people will probably now go seek it out, the same way illegal downloads of the Chinese Democracy demos increased following the arrest of the blogger who leaked them. You need to grow some common sense, or, at the very least, hire a publicist. You could have ignored the whole thing, or could have at least had a sense of humor about it and admitted that taking the photo probably wasn’t the wisest decision you’ve ever made, but instead all you did was try to scold people for looking which, at best, shows you have little to no grasp over reality.

And, oh yeah, if you don’t like the idea of men looking at you naked, then you should probably stop posing for photos such as the one above. No one looks at that photo and thinks “I bet her music is really good.” Just saying.

If you’re interested, you can read the rest of Kristen’s blog here.

-AR

*Or so Kirk Hammett tells us.

  • Tommy Leebowitz

    Without photos like the one above, and the self-captured photo of the breasteses, most people would probably just write off Winds Of Plague as yet another shitty generic deathcore band. Instead, people write off Winds Of Plague as yet another shitty generic deathcore band, with a really hot keyboard player. If you want people to respect you for more than just your looks, try making music that doesn’t suck harder than a hoover.

    • Rawwwr

      hey “tommy leebowitz” you are a queer!!… winds of plague is a sick band with excellent musicians… just because you don’t like them because you are too busy listening to your fucking Elton John doesn’t make you any better… id like to see you go make music better than this qoute ” shitty generic deathcore band”… didnt fucking think so… so get off the dick you are riding and keep you stupid comments to yourself… enough said…

  • Kristen Randall

    You took it the wrong way. What I meant was that men shouldn’t look at my t-ts and think, “oh, those tits are nice”. They should look at my t-ts and in their best David Isberg voice say ever-so-gently, “I’d love to put my d-ck in your mouth to shut you the fuck up”. Then take a video of me naked, bound and gagged so I’ll have something else to talk about in 3 months!!

    GRRRLPOWER!!!

    RESPECT!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Farris/628185113 Chris Farris

      Off subject. I heard rumor you left the band. Is that true or no?

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    Any respect I may have had for Kristen Randall just went out the window.

  • james

    never even heard of her before, now i will only know of her as a tattooed topless whiner.

  • The Mighty Fucking Quinn

    Why are we still talking about this?Is metal sexist, yeah.BUT YOU TOOK A TOPLESS PHOTO ON YOUR SIDEKICK AND SENT IT TO YOUR FRIENDS!IDIOT!

  • Jim

    Well, she’s not my type, but those tits were pretty nice. And yeah, they’re just tits, but on the other hand, they are tits! I’ve seen tits before, but the thing about seeing new tits is that it never gets old, it’s just as awesome as the first time you ever saw some tits.

  • slice two

    WoP isn’t that bad, and KR is slammin’. that’s all i care about. if you don’t want nudie pics of yourself on the internet, don’t send em around!

  • pacomon

    LMFAO!!!

  • seveword

    Jim: Very well put. Basically sums up whatever point I was gonna make.

    Basically: Tits are awesome. Everyone like looking at tits. Big, small, flat, fried egg on a nail, there’s tits in all shapes, and sizes. If she would have just said, “Yeah. That happened.” then we wouldn’t have to bring it up again.

    On the other hand, her bringing it up gives us all permission to look at her boobs again. Yay for attention whores!

  • genital warfare

    nice tats. get it?
    sorry, lame attempt at a joke. good night.

  • http://metalmartyr.com MetalMartyr.Com

    “If you’re interested, you can read the rest of Kristen’s blog here.”

    No thanks. I saw her tits and that was good enough for me, more babbling will just ruin them. Like everyone else is saying, Tits never get old…unless they’re old saggy tits and even then. If you walk in to a room full of men, straight homosexual or indifferent and say “Look, Boobs!”, every person in that room with a dick will turn his head your way, even if you’re holding a golden retriever that is nursing. They may be disappointed, but they still looked. My point is….oh wait. I don;t have one. BOOBS!

  • meatball grinder

    Whats that blue thing between her legs?

  • DemonicLemming

    I looked at the pic of her tits, went, “Nice tits”, and stopped thinking about it. I didn’t realize anyone else had done differently, with the exception of changing thew adjective “nice” to fit their thoughts.

    In today’s world where amateur girlfriend porn sites make up the majority of most-visited-porn-sites now, any chick who takes tit pics (or pics of any other part of her anatomy) instantly yields all rights to said picture once it’s been sent to whoever it was intended to go to. If you want someone to see your tits, show them in person and make sure they don’t have a camera or phone hidden somewhere. If you take a picture of your tits, expect lots and lots of people to see the picture.

    It’s common fucking sense. Sorta like, if I own a Veyron, I’m not going to park the fucker in downtown Baltimore and come back and expect it to be perfectly fine. Plus, what stand-up guy doesn’t show his buddy tit pics he gets on his phone? That’s an unwritten fucking bylaw of being a dude.

    My long-winded point being, she’s got no right to bitch about the fucking pic getting leaked when she took the goddamn thing herself and sent it to someone. Common fucking sense.

  • http://fantasyh.wordpress.com fantasyh

    I’m getting a bit tired of taking every chance to say something not very nice about mr Ulrich but this was a good one.

  • Kye

    I’m pretty sure her boobs are the only reason anyone that wasn’t already a fan of Winds of Plague would even bother to check them out.

    Actually, scratch that, her boobs never made me more interested in that shit band

  • lern2swim

    ok, I’ve never listened to WoP and she is totally responding to this in a “not so metal” way. But let’s step outside of the small slice of the world that is Metalsucks and consider why she possibly responded this way a month after the pics came out. Is it possible that she’s been seeing the reprocussions of the pic being posted in her personal and professional life and has at this point grown irritated with it and therefore posted this blog out of said irritation? I think that’s the likely scenario. Again, like I said, she’s being a total bore about it instead of just embracing the positive aspects and brushing off the negative. But I don’t think it’s hard to see where she’s coming from.

    Oh and, for the record, I think she’s severely fuckable from the 2 pics I’ve seen on here.

  • Sacajawea

    Boobs…nice.

  • PD…but DP would be more appropriate given the nature of this post

    She’s as much to blame as whoever leaked the photo. I don’t give a fuck what ANYBODY says. You take the nudie pics in the first place, you’re to blame. The fact that she’s in a band doesn’t help at all. Oh wait, guy up there said the same thing. BECAUSE HE HAS A BRAIN.

    And yeah, those tits are beautiful. I wouldn’t mind seeing them in person…maybe when I go to see Skeletonwitch with Danzig and Dimmu Burger. Oh wait, there’s really only 2 bands worth seeing there, and I can tell you, WoP are fun live but nothing to brag about seeing. Danzig on the other hand you have to see to say you saw them. Or something like that.

  • PD

    And before I forget, is it just me or does that pic make her foot look monstrous?

  • blen genton

    “The unintentionally exposed photo has caused an unnecessary stir and is a false portrayal of myself and all women out there ”

    I think what she’s saying is that the tit, ahem, I mean pic makes her (and all women out there???) falsely look like a whore. Awww shucks, she kinda had my hopes up that she really was.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    @ Lern2Swim

    (1) Well, well…We meet again my friend…

    (2) I’ve been thinking about doing a blog-post on the subject of this very article, back when I first saw that picture about a month ago – with a few additional things. I’m thinking I will anyway.

    (3) “Is it possible that she’s been seeing the reprocussions [sic] of the pic being posted in her personal and professional life and has at this point grown irritated with it and therefore posted this blog out of said irritation?”

    I happen to be something of a ‘conspiracy-theorist’ so pardon me if you (and everyone else here on MetalSucks) disagrees, but I think it’s also quite possible (though not necessarily ‘probable’) that she took the photo of herself – on purpose – not only with the knowledge – but rather with the INTENT of it having spread around the net.

    Why?

    Perhaps so she could later act all offended by/at the Metal community for ‘making such a big deal about this’ (although again, as the MetalSucks editors already mentioned, a month had already past and people had for the most part forgot about the incident). So she writes off a blog-post about how she’s ‘offended’ by our behavior for spreading it and thereby helping it ‘go-viral’, so we can all pay attention to her again – and in turn – pay attention to “Winds Of Plague” again.

    A marketing strategy? Perhaps – after all people often ‘leak’ sex-tapes to the public, Paris Hilton, Keeley Hazell, etc. (often it’s done without their permission/knowledge) and while they do receive much criticism from the press, they also receive great acclaim from horny fan-boys/girls who ogle over the material (and thereby giving them much attention and notoriety eventually paving they way for them to become stars/icons – to some degree – at the very least). Now this was not a tape of her having sex with someone, but it follows on much of the same principle.

    I’m sure you know how it goes in the entertainment industry; as the age-old maxim intelligently puts it: ‘controversy is always good for business’.

    I know this is Metal, so it’s still ‘good’ for publicity (‘bad press’ is better than ‘no press’) but at a smaller scale of thousands of fans as opposed to millions (i.e. if this was Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc.) So my point is that it’s possible that ‘publicly’ she’s voicing her ‘complaint’ to get us to view this as ‘negative’ but secretly (for herself and perhaps WoP) she sees this as a total ‘positive’.

    So again, I have no ‘proof’ whatsoever (definitely ‘possible’ but not necessarily ‘probable’) but it could very well be a ploy just to get WoP some extra attention (perhaps they got ‘lost in the shuffle’). What d’ya think? Am I on to somethin’ here?

    (4) “I think she’s severely fuckable from the 2 pics I’ve seen on here.”

    Agreed (maybe not ‘severely’ though, but still quite ‘fuckable’ as you put it).

    As a side note if she doesn’t want us to look at her like a ‘sex-object’ then why pose for Revolvers’ ‘Hottest Chicks In Metal’ http://www.revolvermag.com/content/hottest-chicks-metal-iii-outtakes issue (by the way, I’ve seen plenty of chicks – and here’s the kicker *IN METAL* who are way the hell hotter than her; I mean like smokin’ hot, ‘runway-model’ caliber and some who even have some musical talent, but they’ll never get noticed because Revolver, Hit-Parader, Decibel and every other mag out there often refuses to let smaller bands get in their mags let alone on their cover – thank God we have the internet). Again, and I say this all the time – I’d still bang her if I was desperate. Hell, I’d probably just bang her given the opportunity…And was horny (which is basically always).

    (5) I did a search on our previous ‘comment-war’ (Bleeding-Through). I see you have updated it, perhaps I’ll post a response there sometime soon.

    (6) I’ve updated my shitty blog. It’s gotten more shitty over the last little while, but more random too. You might like it. You might not. Regardless, good things are coming eventually. Please check it out, and tell all of your family, friends, enemies, neighbors, pets, acquaintances, co-workers, boss(es), imaginary friends, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, furniture, lighting, carpeting, grandparents, relatives, etc. to visit. Okay that made no sense whatsoever, but just visit and leave comments to let me know that the shit is actually functioning.

    …Take care…

    PS. I don’t know why the hell I’m responding to this like it’s a letter, oh well.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    @ meatball grinder:

    “Whats that blue thing between her legs?”

    I’m not sure, perhaps a towel?! We’d probably find out if she’d just open them up a bit so we can get a better view. That’d end all the speculation, and we can all finally go about our day. But until then, I think it’s best to start an online-petition.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    @ PD:

    “…does that pic make her foot look monstrous?”

    It’s primarily the angling of the camera, she has a prominent-arch, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, I personally think it’s her ankle that’s rather deformed; it makes her foot look like it’s just attached to her shins without any ‘segue’ in between (if you ever watch cartoon “King of the Hill” you’ll notice that the main character Hank-Hill’s Father who is an old war-vet has his feet sewn-onto-his-knees). It’s not particularly bad in Kristen’s case, but it does look a tad ‘out-of-place’ and/or ‘disproportional’ upon scrutiny.

    Then again, we might be ‘too-critical’ here.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    @ Lern2Swim

    (1) Well, well…We meet again my friend…(I tried to post this earlier but it said “Your comment is awaiting moderation” and never showed up. Not sure why; I only had one link to Revolver-Mag so forgive me if this appears twice on this message board).

    (2) I’ve been thinking about doing a blog-post on the subject of this very article, back when I first saw that picture about a month ago – with a few additional things. I’m thinking I will anyway.

    (3) “Is it possible that she’s been seeing the reprocussions [sic] of the pic being posted in her personal and professional life and has at this point grown irritated with it and therefore posted this blog out of said irritation?”

    I happen to be something of a ‘conspiracy-theorist’ so pardon me if you (and everyone else here on MetalSucks) disagrees, but I think it’s also quite possible (though not necessarily ‘probable’) that she took the photo of herself – on purpose – not only with the knowledge – but rather with the INTENT of it having spread around the net.

    Why?

    Perhaps so she could later act all offended by/at the Metal community for ‘making such a big deal about this’ (although again, as the MetalSucks editors already mentioned, a month had already past and people had for the most part forgot about the incident). So she writes off a blog-post about how she’s ‘offended’ by our behavior for spreading it and thereby helping it ‘go-viral’, so we can all pay attention to her again – and in turn – pay attention to “Winds Of Plague” again.

    A marketing strategy? Perhaps – after all people often ‘leak’ sex-tapes to the public, Paris Hilton, Keeley Hazell, etc. (often it’s done without their permission/knowledge) and while they do receive much criticism from the press, they also receive great acclaim from horny fan-boys/girls who ogle over the material (and thereby giving them much attention and notoriety eventually paving they way for them to become stars/icons – to some degree – at the very least). Now this was not a tape of her having sex with someone, but it follows on much of the same principle.

    I’m sure you know how it goes in the entertainment industry; as the age-old maxim intelligently puts it: ‘controversy is always good for business’.

    I know this is Metal, so it’s still ‘good’ for publicity (’bad press’ is better than ‘no press’) but at a smaller scale of thousands of fans as opposed to millions (i.e. if this was Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc.) So my point is that it’s possible that ‘publicly’ she’s voicing her ‘complaint’ to get us to view this as ‘negative’ but secretly (for herself and perhaps WoP) she sees this as a total ‘positive’.

    So again, I have no ‘proof’ whatsoever (definitely ‘possible’ but not necessarily ‘probable’) but it could very well be a ploy just to get WoP some extra attention (perhaps they got ‘lost in the shuffle’). What d’ya think? Am I on to somethin’ here?

    (4) “I think she’s severely fuckable from the 2 pics I’ve seen on here.”

    Agreed (maybe not ’severely’ though, but still quite ‘fuckable’ as you put it).

    As a side note if she doesn’t want us to look at her like a ’sex-object’ then why pose for Revolvers’ ‘Hottest Chicks In Metal’ issue (by the way, I’ve seen plenty of chicks – and here’s the kicker *IN METAL* who are way the hell hotter than her; I mean like smokin’ hot, ‘runway-model’ caliber and some who even have some musical talent, but they’ll never get noticed because Revolver, Hit-Parader, Decibel and every other mag out there often refuses to let smaller bands get in their mags let alone on their cover – thank God we have the internet). Again, and I say this all the time – I’d still bang her if I was desperate. Hell, I’d probably just bang her given the opportunity…And was horny (which is basically always).

    (5) I did a search on our previous ‘comment-war’ (Bleeding-Through). I see you have updated it, perhaps I’ll post a response there sometime soon.

    (6) I’ve updated my shitty blog. It’s gotten more shitty over the last little while, but more random too. You might like it. You might not. Regardless, good things are coming eventually. Please check it out, and tell all of your family, friends, enemies, neighbors, pets, acquaintances, co-workers, boss(es), imaginary friends, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, furniture, lighting, carpeting, grandparents, relatives, etc. to visit. Okay that made no sense whatsoever, but just visit and leave comments to let me know that the shit is actually functioning.

    …Take care…

    PS. I don’t know why the hell I’m responding to this like it’s a letter, oh well.

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  • muteassassin

    I’d pee in her butt!!!! (With Love)

  • DemonicLemming

    I wish Simone Simons of Epica would take a topless picture in front of a mirror.

    :(

  • Anon

    I think Revolver should have used the titty picture, which looks alot better than the actual picture Revolver took. What with the blue thing seeping out of her vaginal and monsterous feet angle.

  • The Metal Nerd

    …Someone please, shove a cock in this dumb whores mouth. I dont like Deathcore, or ANYcore for that matter. WoP are worse than dog shit, and besides, if this moronic slag had an self respect, she wouldnt have said a fuck thing, and/or taken the photo in the first hand. beshdes all that, Marta Peterson, is smarter, hotter, and actually talented. SO SAYETH THE METAL NERD!

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    @ The Metal Nerd:

    I agreed with everything you said except the “Marta Peterson, is smarter, hotter, and actually talented” comment. If you’re wondering ‘why?’ click here:

    http://www.metalsucks.net/?p=6809#comment-130544

  • paxlrose

    Maybe she should explain why she joined a shitty band like Winds of Plague and agreed to do that godawful “The Impaler” video.

  • lern2swim

    AWB, I don’t even remember our previous “comment war” so, no point in responding to whatever it was.

    I’m fully aware that it is just as likely that she posted the pic for publicity. But fuck it, if I was a hot chick, I’d walk around topless all the time for publicity so I can’t blame her. I was merely stating that to automatically assume that her response a month late was not sincere is kind of… well… misogynistic on some level and also just unsympathetic. I dunno…

  • Lasher

    Amen. If she’s all pissy about the boob photo. why the hell continue to take nude photos?

  • http://www.myspace.com/deadspout Bolthorn

    social insanity has plagued rationale…well, at least until it happens to you right?

    Its easy for a bunch of Metalsucks.net bloggers to be so brave when they hide behind pseudonyms…

  • Metal Mike

    Moar!

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  • urstoopidstoprepeatingwhatyouhearfromyourgayfriends

    photos don’t just leak. shes a dumb cunt who can play a keyboard….not that she does anything special. if men didn’t like tits, she’d have no reason for taking the pictures and obviously sending them to someone… probably on a cell phone. if you have a problem with people posting pictures of your tits all over the internet…. A) don’t take em and send em to someone and B) don’t send em to someone who you might 1) piss off or 2) not be able to trust with them.

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  • Jim

    Cheap.
    Tits don’t play keys.
    keys are not metal.
    she should become a stripper or something, if she likes taking photos of her boobs and share it with the world. That way she’d make some money without pertaining to have anything to do with the creation of art.