WTFH2?
Monday, November 3rd, 2008 at 10:00am by Corey Mitchell
I am currently sequestered away in my cave hammering out my next book, so I don’t have any time to look shit up. Regardless, I have a few questions niggling at the back of my brain about some issues in metal. Maybe you can help me out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO…?
- Sounds of the Underground- I caught the first tour and it rocked. Second one, not so much (Trivium headlining over In Flames?). The third year’s line-up looked lame so I took a pass. Correct me if I’m wrong, but was there no SOTU this year?
- Ozzfest – Free in 2007. One show in 2008. WTF?
- Headbangers Ball – Reduced to one hour a week. No host. Time slot changes seemingly every week. Too many of the same videos played week after week.
- Metallica – No, seriously. WTFH2 these guys?
- Brian Posehn - Okay, I cheated here. This isn’t a WTFH2, but rather a request from me for one of you MSManiacs to create a YouTube clip of Brian Posehn’s metal moments on The Sarah Silverman Program. Please? Pretty please? BP is the fuckin’ man!
- Ugly metal chicks- not that I’m complaining but the metal chicks these days are ridiculously hot: Christina Scabbia, Maria Brinke, Grace Perry, Ashley Ellyllon, Marta, Lauren Harris, Simone Simmons. I get teary-eyed reminiscing about such fugly rockers as Girlschool, Kittie, Cycle Sluts from Hell, L7, Twiggy Ramirez, Poison.
- Juliya/Uranium/Fuse – metal gets big, Fuse pulls plug. WTF???
- Lamb of God- did their career get a boost after the inclusion of “Ruin” on the “BME Pain Olympics: Final Round” viral vid? Would they have benefited more from being on “2 Girls, 1 Cup” or “Horse Fucks Mr. Hands to Death”? If you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, look ‘em up. Just not at work. Or at home. Or in front of your spouse. Or your kids. Of course, it would have been even cooler if BMEPOFR was actually real like the old Joe Christ penectomy videos.
No, I won’t link it for you, but here is a pretty good reaction video to BMEPOR:
-Oh, yeah. I believe starting in 2012, all presidential candidates must have theme music culled directly from The Mentors for all campaign rally appearances. Barack Obama’s will be “Donkey Dick.” Sarah Palin’s can be “White Trash Woman” or “Mother/Daughter Team.” Mitt Romney can use “Macho Package” and Mike Huckabee should use “My Erection is Over.”
-Cobalt’s Eater of Birds (2007) is the best album I have heard this year. Too bad it won’t be eligible for my Best of 2008 list.
-Landmine Marathon’s artwork for their latest release, Rusted Eyes Awake, is awful, and I’m a fan of Basil Gogos’ Famous Monsters look.
-Damn, I wanna watch Meshuggah’s video, Bleed, one more time:
Alright, enough procrastination. Back to work.
I’m the Old Fart and I reluctantly approve this message.
seriously, what happened to juliya and uranium? that show was awesome and she is very hot.
Whatever happened to Dynamo Open Air? In the 80′’s you could see Exodus, Flotsam &Jetsam, Paradox, Toxik, Heathen etc. for one fucking buck! In the 90’s they were taken over by those expensive companies, letting bands like Nirvana, Metallica and Shit Bizkit piss over it.
And the last edition in 2005(with Testament and Anthrax headlining) flopped big time with only 6000 sold of the 45000 available, it’s a shame….
BTW, Headbanger’s Ball has been replaced, and now it’s called Rock top 25, with bands like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, NickelSack etc. etc.
SOTU’s thought process was that they couldn’t compete with the Mayhem and Ozzfest. I feel like I heard a rumor somewhere that it might be coming back this summer. Also, year 3 wasn’t as good because Hot Topic sponsored it–I’m sorry but it seemed like they put bands that were popular at HT rather than in metal in general.
Also, I heard Ozzfest might turn back into what it was–again just a rumor.
Corey, I’m confused. Do you merely detest Metallica or despise. Or is it deplore? Or is there another word beginning with “de” I’ve missed?
;) kidding
Wait. Lauren Harris? I saw her live and yes she’s hot, but that ain’t metal by anyone’s definition.
SOTU was one of the best tours out there. Where else would you see Machine Head, GWAR, and In Flames in the same place? I was also a little disappointed to see As I Lay Dying headlining above In Flames at the one I went to. Especially with how huge In Flames’ set was. I guess that’s why I left after them. I don’t think I could have taken another hour and a half of concert, much less an hour and a half of As I Lay Dying.
Headbangers Ball fucking sucks now. I liked the one from a few years ago better than the old school one mostly because I wasn’t like 5 when it came out, but it has completely gone to shit. Especially with what you’re saying about the scheduling, you can never be like “It’s fuckin Saturday, I’m watching Headbangers Ball at 11 no matter what”. They used to have some kick ass videos on there too… shit you wouldn’t expect on MTV.
About Fuse/Juliya/Uranium. That was definitely a good show. Juliya’s fucking hot without a doubt. I just can’t get over the fact that she was just kinda in that scene to get attention though. I remember seeing SOAD on there and Serj pretty much told her it was amusing to him how fake she was. Not to say I wouldn’t do her, I just wouldn’t want to spend more than an hour talking to her.
Fugly female metal singers?
Shit – half of the male singers out there are fucking gross.
I met Lauren Harris this summer and while not a fan of her music, I have to admit she was pretty hot. Nice chick, too.
@Sammy per Lauren Harris – true, she’s not metal. But she was spawned from the seed of a metal deity so we can give her a pass.
@FleischBerg: HBB is still out there. I DVR’d it this past Satruday on MTV2. Of course, the schedule said it was for two hours, my DVR actually recorded three hours, but it only lasted one hour. As usual, the fucked up chryons on the screen. They also fucked up the Bleeding Through video with no sound and ridiculously fast speed (some may call it an improvement).
I was happy, however, to see the BTBAM live video.
@Sammy per Metallica – I can safely declare that the debauchery of my former favorite decadent musical deity has degenerated into a decanter of debutantes dearly desiring to debunk that which was true and dear to my defibrilating organ of destruction. Despite dealing in decreased decency on their decaled demonic instruments, dese old Depends wearing former demigods are determined to debase Devilish tunes for the old diehards who desperate deem them despicable, detrimental, and off the deep end.
Only detox, a good deuce pinch, or a deus ex machina will deploy these deuteragonists to deliver another delightful, or hell, decent dollop of destructive demos. Otherwise, I declare they will decompose the defense of their degraded demeanor and demount from the derivative platter that is Death Magnetic. Destructive little demagogues.
@Corey: Dude! You’re making my hair hurt! I guess I did ask for that, though.
@Corey redux: By the way, that was decidedly brilliant. (But I am NOT giving you extra credit for “dollop”.)
The last time I saw Juliya, who is hot and awesome, was on the extras of Type O Negative’s DVD “Symphony For The Devil” (which is awesome if you’re a TON fan). I haven’t seen her anywhere since. Uranium blew HBB away. Speaking of HBB I have to send out a little love to Jamey Jasta who I thought was a terrible host but was obviously the only one at MTV fighting for metal. When Jasta left to tour with Hatebreed MtV immediately started fucking with the schedule until finally reducing it to an hour and burying it at midnight or later when it’s on at all. I say bring back Rachtman but what the hell do I know? Unfortunately unlike Jesse I was a teenager during the heyday of HBB and then just like now only about 1/2 of what’s played is worth listening to.
Not that I support MTV’s decision, but is Headbanger’s Ball relevant anymore(along with the existence of MTV) But when you have Music Choice Radio and other radio stations that come with cable, why should I wait for an hour segment of nonsense music videos when i can just put on Music Choice.
There was a reason HBB was in its heyday in the 80’s/90’s. In the 90’s you didn’t have youtube or myspace or anything else like that. HBB was your only major outlet for metal. Now you don’t have to sit through videos you don’t like, especially now that they took HBB online and have Headbanger’s Blog.
@Rohit: With a DVR and a large flat-screen HD television, I simply prefer to see the new videos in the best format possible. I usually spend all of 15 minutes zipping through the endless commercials and repeated videos to catch 2 or 3 new videos per week. Plus, when they actually used to have a host, you could see exclusive material such as interviews, backstage footage, etc.
@Corey
I think you just proved my point even further, 2-3 videos that are actually new, and no more host to show exclusive material. If they aren’t showing anything worthwhile and can save money by showing a re-run of Tila Tequila, then why keep on running it?
Tila Tequila – Hot bisexual chick lusted by almost everyone
Metal – Not so much
I remember reading a statement saying Ozzfest was official for 2009. The full tour with Oz and all. I take that with a grain of salt. and a $125ish likely price tag. Anyway with bands like LOG, God Forbid, Mastodon, possibly Devildriver all coming out with new material, it will be more of the same. I’d care only because I’d like to see those bands do REAL shows.
I’m thinking there’s going to be a Unholy Alliance 2009 in the states. I’m thinking Summer.
Headbangers Ball is dead. Long live metalsucks!