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Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE $12,000,000?

 Thursday, November 6th, 2008 at 11:02am by

President-elect Barack Obama (FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!) has some tough challenges ahead of him, not the least of which being our deeply troubled economy. Today I learned of yet another victim of these hard times: Lars Ulrich.

Yes, this economic crisis adversely affects even millionaires with platinum-selling new albums, a fact made painfully clear with the sad news that Metallica’s beloved drummer has been forced to sell one of his prized Jean-Michel Basquiat paintings to bring in more currency with which to light his Cuban cigars and garish wallpaper in his many, many McMansions.

I think I speak for everyone here at Metalsucks when I say, “Suck it, Trebek!”

-GS

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  • slice two

    jesus what a toolbag.

  • http://www.benapatoff.blogspot.com Ben

    There are much worse things for millionaires to invest in than Basquiat paintings–and I remember reading that Lars is a liberal, so I don’t think he’s too upset.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/cooperaa Aaron

    This sounds like an amazing business move if you ask me. He bought the stupid thing for a couple million and he’s hoping to sell for 12-16 million! Who WOULDN’T sell it?!

  • Tim

    what a fuckin clown

  • Sammy

    Gary, did you even read the article? “Forced” to sell the painting? Um no, the article states that if he is going to sell that particular painting, now is the time. Most investments do not appreciate six fold in ten years. Sounds like sound business sense to me, not desperation.

  • seveword

    ^Sammy, reading is WAY overrated. In fact, I only read the first sentence of your response, because I’m American (FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!) and I don’t have to read a goddamn thing.

  • muzikwhore

    ……………………………………..

  • bully

    shitallica is gay & so is lars and that gay ass scarf of his….i wish their tourbus would flip over so that they would all die & i would never hear of their faggot asses again

  • http://www.myspace.com/corrosivefate Rohit

    Did anybody even look at the painting? It looks like it was drawn by a kindergartner.

    what people call art these days…….

  • http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/ Conor

    I think Gary’s attitude was justified, given that Lars has so publicly lamenting his starving artist status in the Napster days.

    He’s a toolbag. I met a guy last week who said he bought Death Magnetic so I punched him.

  • http://noyokono.blogspot.com Gary S.

    @Sammy: I am exercising my right to exaggerate. After all, this is a blog! SI SE PUEDE!

    @Rohit: Actually that painting is what people called art back in the 1980s.

    @Conor: MY ATTITUDE IS ALWAYS JUSTIFIED! (Also: nice one on the Death Magnetic assault! His lifestyle clearly determined his GETPUNCHEDINTHEFACE-style.)

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    $ TEXAS