SCIENTIFIC STUDY PROVES THAT METAL IS BAD FOR YOU (BUT NOT REALLY)
Friday, November 14th, 2008 at 12:06pm by Axl Rosenberg
The super fantastico Allyson over at Bring Back Glam wrote a post today about a recent study that allegedly proves that listening to metal is bad for your health. Allyson writes:
“Basically the article finds that Heavy Metal causes stress, which is bad for your heart. Apparently the best music for your heart is ‘John Denver country-style.’
“Scientists asked 10 non-smokers to avoid listening to their favorite music. Then, these volunteers rocked out to the controlled samples. The study found…’that volunteer’s arteries opened 26% wider on average during music they liked but narrowed by 6% when ‘anxious’ music was played.’
“The problem here, of course, is that there is no regard for human emotion. Fast music just might make your heart rate speed up a little. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. Also, I don’t like John Denver. I could guess that listening to him for a long time would stress me out – thus causing my arteries narrow.”
With that last thought, I think Allyson has really hit the nail on the head with regards to why the study is complete bullshit – it doesn’t prove that metal is bad for you so much as it proves that music you hate is bad for you. Because metal doesn’t make me “anxious” – it’s “music I like.” If none of the volunteers were metalheads, then the study really holds no water. (You can read a more complete account of the study here.)
So, really, all the study proves is that I was right when I told my ex-girlfriend “Yes, listening to one Maroon 5 song could kill me.”
-AR
Maroon 5 is proof that the robots are taking over.
Well John Denver proved to us that “Rocky Mountain High” isn’t good for ya either.
Hahaha, the ultimate burn.
The only bad thing metal does is it tends to make me drive faster. But I like to drive faster, shit the only place I’m going the speed limit is those school zones when the lights are flashing. Fuck Allyson, fuck John Denver and fuck those slow people in front of me.
Even more recent studies show that listening to John Denver makes you want to open a vein…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/7598549.stm
Quote of Note: “One of the most surprising things is the similarities between fans of classical music and heavy metal. They’re both creative and at ease but not outgoing.”
I agree that metal is bad for you and you know what? That is just how I like it. I like getting anxious and angry with my music, so I don’t do have to with my friends and family and society at large. Metal may narrow my artieries, but it allows my artieries to function normally while dealing with life.
Oh, and I guarantee that if someone made me listen to fucking John Denver for any length of time, I can assure you that the people would around me would suffer due to the mood it would put me in.
Let alone is the study complete bull, but look at the results. 6%! Wow that is soooooo much. One cheesburger probally does double of that.
Metal Sucks
what a joke of a study. People are generally assholes when it comes to music and all the hear when hey put on metal is noise because their brains are too fucking simplistic to align melody unless it’s put right in front of them.
“People are generally assholes when it comes to music and all the hear when hey put on metal is noise because their brains are too fucking simplistic to align melody unless it’s put right in front of them.”
I think you are on to something Dr J. Most “radio” music generally has one simple, easy to hear melody that they sing over and over and is basically the entire song, the rest is just filler until they can get back to that catchy melody, usually in the chorus.
Metal often has many different things going on. So it’s hard to pick just one main melody or catchy chorus to follow because the songs are often enjoyed as a whole, progressive, experience, not just waiting for the chorus.
So when people who don’t understand metal listen to a song, they are waiting for that one catchy part that isn’t always present. Also, a lot of metal doesn’t fit into the 3 minute song format that the general public seem to love so much.
Basically, the test doesn’t take into account personal taste. Some people might be soothed by listening to Jack Johnson while it makes me want to break my fucking stereo.
What about hip-hop? Listening to people talk about murder and running from the police all while enduring crushing bass hits is soothing for the cardiovascular system, I guess.
What about bluegrass? Those hillbillies pluck their banjos at speeds way faster than metal at times, and I suppose that’s alright to listen also, as long as it isn’t that dastardly metal.
Once again metal gets all of the attention for something negative, while people turn a blind eye to more popular and just as “dangerous” forms of music. My point here isn’t that hip hop and bluegrass are bad for you, just that whenever someone gets an opportunity to find something wrong with metal, they do so with malice.
Bah!… Who gives a fuck what 1 biased cock head can conjure up… Anyone with any form of intelligence can see past it as an easy shot at a ’scary unknown’…
And I don’t know about all of you but I like the fact that most people don’t ‘get’ metal.
It’s a world unto itself. The anticulture that sets fear in the hearts of those who are already lost and afraid, the ones who cling to the status quo for guidance… Fuck that. I’ll cut my own path.
I believe metal fans are the only truly free people of the world.
Intelligent teenagers often listen to heavy metal music to cope with the pressures associated with being talented, according to research.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/21/nmetal21.xml
John Denver is fucking metal. Seriously. Just look at him. He will fuck your world up.