A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE EX-MRS. AXL ROSENBERG
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 at 2:16pm by Axl Rosenberg
So. You may or may not recall that, a few weeks back, for the first time ever, five females won the Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest. Dubbing them “The Slipknot Five,” I wrote that “since I’ve never had a girlfriend who was actually into metal, I’m hoping at least one them e-mails me with a marriage proposal. Fingers crossed.”
Well, lo and behold, one of those ladies, Ms. Stacey Watrobski, did, in fact, e-mail me with a marriage proposal, and even included a link to her MySpace page so I could see that she didn’t, in her words, “look like one of those broads from Kittie.” Stacey then scolded me for never promoting shows outside the NYC area; I, in turn, promised to promote any show outside NYC that she asked me to, seeing as we’re now engaged n’ all.
Well, now Stacey has a show she wants to promote, so I’m here to help. But rather than try and write something about said show, I’m just going to let her tell you about it:
“This upcoming Sunday here in Philadelphia, A Life Once Lost along with Made Of Babies and Tombs are playing at a little place called Johnny Brenda’s. Its only $5!! Woo! And cheap drinks. I think its going to be a great show and for 5 bucks, you can’t beat it. Starts at 9pm, must be 21 to get in. I have attached the promo flyer to this email. It won’t explode your computer. I promise. YOu can trust me, I have large, supple breasts.”
This is actually Decibel Magazine’s 50th issue party, and even though Vince and I can’t make the trek to Philly this weekend to check out, we strongly urge you to follow the advice of Stacey and her large, supple breasts and hit up the show. All three bands on the bill are super sweet, and like Stacey says, it’s only five bones, which means the crappy current state of the economy is now choice. Plus, it’s Decibel Magazine; they rule. Show some respect.
So, there ya go, Stacey. Now I’m gonna go call Dallas Coyle and see if God Forbid will play our wedding.
-AR
November 18th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Buahaha it’s sad how much influence you guys have over the readers here
November 18th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
She also likes war movies and football (although, FUCK THE EAGLES)…
Can we see the tits?
November 18th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I’d spend Thanksgiving dishing out food in a homeless shelter and not with either of my huge families if I could make it to this show.But alas, I’ll have to deal with the high of Triptophane as opposed to the highs of A Life Once Lost(who you guys really oughta cover more, seeing how much ass they kick) and the subsequent marijuana smoke that will surely make it’s way into the air as they play.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
If you go to the Decibel show remeber to tip the Merch guy…hint hint.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
…whoops cant spell
November 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hey Axl quit being a pussy and post her myspace already
November 18th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
jesus p. christ, is EVERYONE getting laid but me now?
November 18th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
If by laid you mean communicating through MetalSucks, then yes. =)
November 18th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
She actually lives on my couch, and does nothing but tell AIDS jokes.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
So all i have to do is start a killer Blog and then i can score some blog groupies….NICE!!
November 18th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Yeah Axl, get that pussy!
November 18th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Hey…careful. My mom is reading this. She has no idea I have a sex life with men I have never met before. Its like she never even tried to get to know me….*sigh*
November 19th, 2008 at 2:23 am
@stacey: Ahhh, nice and insecure, just the way I like ‘em. Swoop, Axl! SWOOP!
November 19th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Internet whores FTW
November 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I’ll be there, looking forward to MOoB and Tombs!
November 19th, 2008 at 11:07 am
http://www.myspace.com/superfreshsucks
November 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
let’s get that myspace please