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Contests

FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN SOME GOODIES FROM THE HAUNTED

Friday, November 21st, 2008 at 4:46pm by

black metal grumpy foodcourtYou guys either reeeeeallly love Mudvayne or you’re a bunch of cheap fucks who want a free guitar; or both. Either way, last week’s photo caption contest was our most popular ever, with 500+ entries and counting. But only one of you will receive the coveted Washburn guitar signed by the members of Mudvayne, and that person is:

David Duran: “How come no one ever comes to my tea parties?”

Congrats, David! This week we’ve got some yet-to-be-determined goodies from The Haunted two prize packages to give away — each containing both a CD and Vinyl copy of the Haunted’s latest, Versus — to the clever chaps who can come up with the funniest captions to the below photo. Good luck!

axl rose kangaroo

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  • Zac

    So this is what he’s been doing since 93.

  • TimFlames

    Looks like we’ll be waiting another 15 years before “Australian Democracy” hits stores

  • Jonathan O

    \m/ METAL UP YOUR DOWN UNDER \m/

  • Pacey

    Skippy the kangarro, just like every other self respecting metalhead, was not going to eat out of Axl’s hand and buy Chinese Democracy.

  • http://myspace.com/orchids Mark

    millions of people are hoping this kangaroo will bite the hand that feed….

  • Ben

    The transformation into rock and roll’s version of Michael Jackson is complete!

  • steve d

    Welcome to the Safari

  • steve d

    you’re in the safari baby, you’re gonna die!!

  • RomuluXX

    And so began the writing of Australian Democracy

  • Sofa King

    Axl’s search for lead guitarists and producers continues…

  • Chriatian666

    Tragically the Kangaroo failed to notice the Tiger hiding under Mr Roses’ hoodie.

  • dropdeadfred

    ‘get yerself a KFC bucket, and we can talk…’

  • Byron W.

    Completly irrelevant..
    but ive actually been to that place…

  • dthrasher

    Unsatisfied by sub-par performances from his cadre of studio musicians, Axl hits the road to audition new members for his touring band.

  • Gibbo

    “Ah, what a fine looking creature, but LOOK AT MY JACKET TIGER! It’s so much better, it’s like me, a ginger hated by the world, that and I BE FIERCE…”

    Yeah, not the best, but there were too many “new guitarist” ones XD

  • Shanetera

    Axl Rose continues to prove that he’s a gigantic faggot.

  • Jasahn

    I swear! “Chinese Democracy” is right here in my hand! You don’t see it?

  • Johnny Death

    At the end of contract negotiations, newly re-named “Klash” is still in shock after finding out Axl really expects him to wear a black top hat, strap on a sunburst Les Paul studio, drink Black Death Vodka and smoke mass amounts of Marlboro’s on the upcoming tour.

  • Johnny Death

    “and don’t forget to put your smoke between the headstock and strings while your playing!” say’s Axl while walking away.

  • DB

    “David Duran: “How come no one ever comes to my tea parties?””

    What?! That was the winning entry? There were at least 10 others that made me actually, physically laugh. A few:

    -Excerpt from the new children’s book, ‘WHERE’S GAAHLDO?”
    -Blind dating in Norway can be so hard.
    -Lars Ümlaüt finally felt he had hit rock bottom after being forced to play Limp Bizkit’s comeback album in Guitar Hero V, The Return of Rap Metal.
    -Only a nonconformist like me would come to the mall alone
    -“Black metal enthusiast takes novel approach to loneliness by chaining himself to a chair in a cafeteria and going on a Friendless Strike”

    Anyone else have a gripe?

  • The Greys

    Rare photo of Axl Rose and guitarist “Bucketpouch,” one of the 77,000 guitarists hired to play on “Chinese Democracy.”

  • The Greys

    Sorry dropdeadfred: I posted my caption before I say your post.

  • Matt

    “Well, Mum, Dad……..this is my new wife, Samantha. Sorry about not inviting you to the wedding, but we knew how you would react and I know you can never understand but we love each other”

    “Stop looking at me like that……”

    *runs off out of the room crying

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “Australian Bestiality”

  • Max

    “This picture just looks too artsy; there’s something about it.”

  • http://censoredmetal.com Censoremetal.com

    Sorry, but I clearly thought “Where’s Gaahldo?” would have won the last one.

  • http://www.nobudgettv.com C.J. the D.J.

    get ready for…

    Australian Socialism!

  • Jesse

    *BZZZZZZZZZT*

    Haha I got you good you stupid fucking Kangaroo!

  • http://cultclassicmoviereview.blogspot.com You Don’t Know Me

    Axl is still trying to replace Slash.

  • dthrasher

    @DB – yea, holy shit, the winning caption was fuckin weak.

  • Jesse

    Axl Rose caught the first flight to Sydney once he heard about their snowy wonderland-like climate. He was a little disappointed to see that, contrary to popular belief, Australia hasn’t seen a flake of snow since the ice age. He was however very excited to discover that Sydney is the home of the world’s only palm reading kangaroo. The kangaroo was overheard saying “Months from now, a picture of us will appear on Metalsucks.net’s funny photo caption contest. It will be there that a bunch of people will make remarks about you trying to replace Slash, and it will never be funny.”

  • lern2swim

    After all these years, Guns n Roses still plays to sold out venues… of course, now, the venue is Stew’s Petting Zoo located in Salt Lake City. And “sold out” means Axl pays to be alone with the animals.

  • Malacoda

    The real culprit of the first “Chinese Democracy” leaks.

  • http://www.myspace.com/grownfromthecold Luke

    Kangaroo Jack, meet Kangaroo Jackass.

  • Keith Al-Shareef

    Bullshit. Where’s Gaahldo should be the winner. I say this contest was fucking rigged

  • jj

    when Axl arrived 4 hours late for his trip to the zoo, it was the least he could do

  • Leprosy

    im with Keith Al-Shareef. that quote is fuckin stupid and i saw a lot of other funnier ones. out of 500 responses axl and vince chose that. i egg-pected more from them and i just added protein to your day.

  • TedTedPoleyPoley

    grooming Bumblefoot’s replacement already

  • large jockstrap

    thinking of possible presents to get slash for a possible kiss and make up: a top hat made of kangaroo fur

  • jordan

    once being the t#1 rock and roll act in the u.s axl tries unsuccesfully to make a comback he decides to meet and greet with the only remaining groupie around affter the set he then asks if I hold your hand and sing softly in your ear will you come back stage and make all the nightmares go away

  • Kev

    Axl Rose travels far and wide to find the last remaining fan of GnR…

  • Kev

    @jordan:
    Sorry dude, just read it after i hit post

  • terrybeans84

    “Axl woud’nt do this photo session until he ate his stake dinner….Dick”

  • villanj1

    “Yes, my friend. I will not let you be caged nor eaten. Despite your being a more environmentally friendly alternative to your standard meats, I will let you live. Soon, I will grant you your Marsupial Democracy. You see, you too are my child. I am Axl Rose, artist, genius, savior to all, man or beast. Come with me, Joey. Let us hop to Best Buy…”

  • http://www.myspace.com/riffcompelsme riffcompelsme

    It was pretty slim pickings for finding Crocodile Hunter Bill Irwin’s replacement.

  • Mike Malice

    An Australian fan got a leaked copy of Chinese Democracy. Upon throwing it out the window for being terrible it was picked up by this Kangaroo, who is now facing lawsuit by Axl Rose.

  • Mr_izan

    after working with the likes of buckethead, axl is willing to let any bi-ped tour with him.

  • seAoxen

    Down low….. too slow!

  • PD

    The Giraffes apparently aren’t brutal enough punching each other in the stomach.

    My caption = Fail.

  • Sam_MacDonald

    “Oh sweet Rosco, you were always there for me. YOU never gave up hope…”

  • jonowev

    “The founding member of Guns ‘n’ Roses on holiday in Australia. Oh, and Axl Rose.”

  • Giles

    Wait, you’re not American! Gimme my Doctor Pepper back biatch!

  • Rhiannon

    “Yays! I has a friend”

  • Rhiannon Again

    Notice the kangaroo appears to be rubbing his arm/hold it…..

    He is like “Stay with me..”

  • cornblood

    Axl’s new hip-hop side project – Guns N Pouches.

  • Kevin

    That kangaroo is just waiting for the perfect time for a nut-slap.

  • Muttweiler

    “You know where you are, you’re at a petting zoo, baby… “

  • http://www.myspace.com/jay234t Brutal Jay

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the head of the Chinese Democracy add campaign. Yupp, this is the mastermind behind the genius Dr. Pepper give away.

  • Insomnivore

    Local Wildlife Helps Rock Star Find Remaining Talent

  • The Ghost

    It took 17 years and 23 million dollars but axl had taught a marsupial to record, mix, and master an album. In recent interviews axl said that he and the kangaroo will be vacationing in disneyland to celebrate…

  • palinaborted

    Here we see a tiger stalking its unnatural prey across the plains of a has-been rock star’s lack of fashion sense. Use Your Illusion indeed!

  • Walker

    Two things I wont be doing this weekend:Buying Chinese Democracy or seeing the new film Austraila.

  • DeafMetal

    Boxing match between Axl and a kangaroo was the real inspiration for the song Get In The Ring.

  • Mistress_mandi

    Let’s see what he will do when I put this peanut butter on my nuts.

  • Sacajawea

    Axl gets ready to rip the arm off of yet another kangaroo.

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    Coming Soon to Animal Planet! Axl Rose guests stars as “The Wallaby Whisperer!”

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    “I said do you speak-a my language? He just smiled and gave a vegemite sandwich!”

  • key

    promo photo for Rose’s new side project, kangaroo decapitation.

  • John

    At least someone likes chinese democracy

  • Brandon F

    Now inspired by Austrailian Wildlife, Axl writes a new song called “Welcome to the Down Under.”

  • Hazardofholland

    this is one fan that wont be enjoying a free doctor pepper

  • Sacajawea

    Axl teaches a kangaroo to point and laugh at the fat kid sitting in the background.

  • Jake

    Like G.W Axl likes to spread the word of democracy to foreign nations

  • Ryan

    Axl finds his new hiding spot. Disappointed with mucous inside and sues. Film at 11.

  • Renee

    There, I took a picture with the goddamn kangaroo, you happy? Can I go back to being a douchebag now?

  • Emiel

    Axl meeting the voters on his chinese democracy campaign

  • Stephnie

    Remember Roo, he will be wearing a top hat…….and make it look like an accident.

  • http://www.metalsucks.net DeaThrash

    Why does everyone call me Axl? I would rather people mistake me for Anders, at least he made a good album once.

  • Riot904

    The New music video for the song off Chinese Democracy, “Madagascar”. Will feature Axle Rose and Kangaroo Jack hopping through miles of beach, then they will find a small hut, and ultimately end up with some hot Axle on Kangaroo action.

  • Morgan

    ” BREAKING NEWS, Axl finally makes a deal with someone who has agreed to put out Chinese Democracy “

  • http://www.kaaghouse.com/blog GoatRider

    Finally Axl Rose found a someone that would believed him that Chinese Democracy was going to be released in 2008.

  • The Badseed

    With the departure of Buckethead, Axl took the opportunity to add Bumblefoot’s brother, Hoppalong, to the G ‘n R line up.

  • Air Richard

    “Yeah man, I’m really sorry about what Pete Dolving said about you and your country…yeah, I’m trying to make up for a lot of shit to everyone. So like, where is all this snow anyways?”

  • chris

    say hello to my little friend…

  • whiskey ramble

    This has nothing to do with this photo caption contest…just surprised that nobody here is bitching about how the caption that won the guitar for the last photo was not even a fuckin thread on the sock of to chickens funny… it was the worste goddamn “funny photo cation” in history. I call shenanigans! SHENANIGANS I SAY!!!!!

  • whiskey ramble

    ….and yeh I realize I had a few grammatical errors, so what….. your balls are busted anyhow…not mine.

  • whiskey ramble

    but I do have a caption for the current photo…….. if it weren’t for axl playing mediator, the kangaroo would certainly be tiger shit.

  • Chad

    Welcome to the Outback baby. Wanna feel my, my serpentine?

  • http://www.myspace.com/infernalnoizeradio wayniac

    Is this what Axl had in mind when he originally wrote Welcome to the Jungle?

  • http://www.myspace.com/infernalnoizeradio wayniac

    Welcome to Down Under, We’ve got Kangaroos!

  • Mr.Brownstone

    After 21 years still trying to Learn to live like an animal…

  • ClosetMetalHead

    That new shit from Roos N’ Roses is off the hook!

  • Lonny Poonty

    The Truth is revealed finally! Axl reveals what really made the moaning noises used in the recording of Rocket Queen! He says the the “pouch” was the secret weapon!

  • Follow4now

    “The dingo ate my studio band TWICE”.

    “Axl seen right before the dreaded Kangaroo Punch as ordered by the marketing directors @ Dr. Pepper for calling their bluff.”

  • Follow4now

    “Do not call it a come back! Steve Erwin has nothing on me bitches!!!!”

  • Dorian

    “…where the grass is green, and the ‘roos are friendly…”

  • umentum09

    Now hes trying to create Australian Democracy!

  • Austin Millbarge

    “Her pouch reminds me of a warm safe place, where as a child I lie-ee-iked”

  • Follow4now

    “Now boys and girls there are 2 big pussies in this picture. Can you find them?”

  • Jcob Z

    hand in hand, Axle and the love of his life posed for the press.

  • Albert

    I could bounce twice as high if i had a bouncy castle

  • http://www.freewebs.com/synnart Animal56

    With the financial disaster of the Chinese Democracy all his own, Axl resorted to begging for spare change from the locals.

  • robert barry

    i thought that australia was the home of beautiful babes? those are two of the ugliest bitches i’ve ever seen.probably lesbians!!!

  • Josh Smith

    “Ladies And Gentlemen….Meet The New GnR Guitar Player….Kangaroo Jack!”

  • ian baker

    During the course of working on chinese democracy, Axl would get frustrated and wander outside to his Kangaroo sanctuary to relieve some stress

  • Frank

    “And this little fella’s gonna be printed on my right sleeve!”

  • AB

    Haircut: $15
    Classy Jacket: $32.50
    New Sex Mate: $50/night
    Failing to Promote New Album: Worthless

  • Baarzarul

    See this line, it means your next album is going to suck.

  • kft

    trying to make up for chinese democracy axl makes peace with the australian prime minister