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Contests

FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A 2009 REVOLVER T-SHIRT!

Friday, December 5th, 2008 at 6:16pm by

axl rose kangarooAnd the winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest is…

Jesse: “Axl Rose caught the first flight to Sydney once he heard about their snowy wonderland-like climate. He was a little disappointed to see that, contrary to popular belief, Australia hasn’t seen a flake of snow since the ice age. He was however very excited to discover that Sydney is the home of the world’s only palm reading kangaroo. The kangaroo was overheard saying “Months from now, a picture of us will appear on Metalsucks.net’s funny photo caption contest. It will be there that a bunch of people will make remarks about you trying to replace Slash, and it will never be funny.””

For his troubles, Jesse will receive a vinyl and CD copy of The Haunted’s latest opus, Versus. This week we’ve got a 2009 official Revolver Magazine t-shirt to give away. Take a look — these things are fuckin’ cool looking and ordinarily cost 20 bucks. Just come up with the funniest caption to the below photo, and one is yours in the size of your choice – you can surely outdo the lame caption already on the image.

problem

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  • dthrasher

    Fuck.

  • Steven

    Oh! So that’s how you like Chinese Democracy!

  • AB

    Apparently, Axl has failed to re-erect Slash’s performance (on his album and in his sex life)

  • http://citadelbloodbeard.blogspot.com/ Shanetera

    This is what happens when a Tool fan takes Billy Maynard’s lyrics too literally.

  • Matt

    So that’s where Axl has been hiding over the last couple of months, up his own arse.

  • bill`

    thats me

  • Malacoda

    Why Coldplay didn’t notice they ripped off Satch’s song.

  • http://www.coreymitchell.com Corey Mitchell

    Porn star Sasha Grey practicing her latest self-denigrating move.

  • Slender

    I heard that’s how metallica got pumped for studio.

  • http://cultclassicmoviereview.blogspot.com You Don’t Know Me

    Hey everybody! It’s Marilyn Manson!

  • palinaborted

    Seeking the true essence of what it means to be brutally honest with one’s music, David Lee Roth takes a peek within himself and gets stuck in the tightest of situations and thinks, “Maybe Diamond Dave should have taken that room closer to the fellas so someone could help Diamond Dave not turn into an actual diamond.”

  • Juan

    The cumulative body of Metallica after 1988: They went from “Metal Up Your Ass” to having their heads up their own asses.

  • Ninja

    Before the “Miss Machine” cover shoot went horribly wrong.

  • Giles

    Hey wow, we’re doing two axl rose captions in a row…

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    The “logic” behind the Creed reunion has finally been explained.

  • tarpit

    I know that Waco Jesus disc is somewhere around here.

  • The Mighty Fucking Quinn

    Mark Asch, Editor-in-Chief of The L Magazine, caught in a candid moment.

  • slips

    Dallas Coyle brainstorming.

  • Riot904

    The Inspiration for Hinder’s albums.

  • http://www.myspace.com/jay234t Brutal Jay

    We now bring you to the man responsible for the “MTV Music” campaign.

  • Sofa King

    First thing my boss does every morning is take a shower, though he can never seem to get rid of that smell…

  • http://metalmartyr.com MetalMartyr.com

    “Suddenly the reason why the RIAA still hasn’t learned how to capitalize on the age of digital music becomes quite evident.”

    Or…”this is where the Grammy board gets their ideas for the hard rock/ Heavy Metal category nominations”

  • Strapping Young Lad

    Rob Halford doing his vocal warm-ups before a big show.

  • Cody

    Found inside the deluxe edition of Chinese Democracy

  • Pat

    Ladies and Gentlemen……….Dave Mustaine.

  • TheHardG

    “Axl Rose Circa 1994″

  • Stephanie

    Just trying to find the pleasure point

  • Joe

    Lars inspiration for his “unique” sounding snare drum.

  • Chuck

    So this is what Lars does in bathroom now that he is done with the coke habit.

  • http://metalmartyr.com MetalMartyr.com

    How G.G. Allen used to prepare for his short lived stage shows

  • http://metalmartyr.com MetalMartyr.com

    If Scott Weiland’s head was made of heroin, this is how he would try to get it past customs.

  • http://metalmartyr.com MetalMartyr.com

    The next phase of home colon cancer screening.

  • Mike Malice

    Maynard’s artistic genius manifests in his new side project, “Dreams of a Contortionist”

  • Walker

    Wanting to make sure all of the broken glass from that jar he sat on got out. (if you’ve seen the vid, you got this)

  • Dave D

    Your problem is obvious: You just heard the new Nickelback album.

  • Sam

    Man I would rather sit here like this all day than wear that shitty T-shirt.

  • http://www.nobudgettv.com C.J. the D.J.

    After his disappearing act, Axl Rose was finally found in the I-80 Truckstop shower room
    searching for his dignity.

  • SYL Townsend

    i’m such a fart smeller, errr… smart feller.

  • poopynuggeteer

    Where the hell did I put those keys?

  • SYL Townsend

    “If someone mentions Axl Rose one more time, i’m never coming out…”

  • ChrisH

    “Metallica has released a statement reporting that the next four shows on their tour with Lamb of God have been canceled due to Lars Ulrich being ‘under the weather.’ No information as to the nature of the drummer’s illness has been released.”

  • SickSixSeth

    Even with his head far up his own ass, he was not able to avoid metallica headlines.

  • Scott

    Wellp, we finally found where’ Axl Rose’s been hiding all these weeks.

  • mr_Izan

    metal (caption?) up your ass!

  • mr_Izan

    axl rose.

  • mr_Izan

    is this what happens when you cross-breed an ostrich with a porn-star?

  • stevie steve stamopoulos!

    just checking im not a thin skinned pussy…

  • jonowev

    This could be any member of Avenged Sevenfold.

  • CT

    This is what’s becoming known at James Hetfield syndrome. There is an epidemic breaking out.

  • Sacajawea

    Slipknot’s newest addition to the band has chosen a very unique mask.

  • Pat

    I swear to god if I read one more unfunny Metallica or Axl Rose comment I’ll shove my own head up my ass.

  • Jason

    It looks like Fred Durst ran out of gerbils

  • Stephen

    Not music related but whatever.

    The search for Osama Bin Laden have reached a new stage of development.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/wrath_of_vishnu Dillon

    First Lemmiwinks, then Paris Hilton, and now Mr. Slave goes head first up his own ass! Ooooh, Jesus Christ!!

  • http://myspace.com/edenunearthed hollywood

    your problem is obvious….But I just can’t see it from your perspective

  • Jackie Treehorn

    The first photo emerges of what is turning out to be a common reaction after listening to Metallica’s new release “Death Magnetic”.

  • banter

    Oh, that’s where I left my car keys!

  • banter

    The great search for the meaning of life continues.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    Finally Axl Rose is doing some PR for Chinese Democracy. This should get it to No. 1 in no time.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bminekime enemyofgod72

    And the Grammy for Best Metal Performance goes to …

  • key

    GG Allin warming up for a show.

  • Jenna

    The reason Chris Martin was unavailable for comment on the plagarism of his song.

  • Luca5

    - Axl Rose looking for Sebastian Bach.

    - The marketing guy from Dr. Pepper

    - Jerking off is so last year

    - Deathcore´s new karate mosh move

  • Muttweiler

    I know Obama won, Cletus, but would ya come out of there? The rally starts in 20 minutes and I used Downy on yer hood and everything.

  • Anthony

    Finally, Metallica tells everyone who complained about the sound quality of Death Magnetic how to listen to the album with this handy brochure.

  • http://www.failsafefight.com bmwtech

    From page 50 of the definitive book record labels use to model their business plans after

  • Luca5

    IWrestledAnAnusOnce

  • Axolotl

    Inside What’s Within Behind

  • Malacoda

    It’s better than listening to Limp Bizkit.

  • http://www.myspace.com/amethyst_shadows scary mary

    were goerge w. bush has been hiding all these years.

  • Crack Hitler

    Iron Maiden were most displeased with Adam Jones’ original pitch for their new album cover.

  • Pez

    “And this position is call the Death Magnetic”

  • http://www.myspace.com/damagedmike Damagedmike

    Metallica’s Audio Engineer for “Death Magnetic”

    But seriously, I instantly thought of Axl Rose.

  • RobotScythe

    A member of the MetalSucks staff prepares for a meeting.

  • Dorian

    palinaborted’s caption FTW

  • Jesse

    Never attempt “The Flying Butt Plyers” without parental supervision.

  • ChrisH

    SHITHEAD HAPPENS

  • Devin

    Oh… so that’s why Death Magnetic seems so loud to me.

  • Vinnie

    SOMA searches for the brown note.

  • Zues85

    Listening to pop music leads to one thing, self implosion through your rectal cavity.

  • chris

    assface

  • Porkspam

    What happens when one listens to tool’s aenima cd on peyote

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    NOT AN ENTRY:

    Hey folks, I don’t mean to be a ‘shit-disturber’ (whatever the hell that is) but I think this photo has been plagiarized from an anti-George W. Bush site (http://bushspeaks.com/home.asp?did=18) and appears to have been edited to remove the URL-watermark and the ‘Kiss Me’ on the right butt-cheek. Still, overall a very funny picture. The original caption on BushSpeaks(dot)com read:

    “I do not believe…that the government should impose on power plants mandatory emissions reductions for carbon dioxide.”

  • Stolas Trephinator

    Nifelheim immediately after calling Dimebag Darrel “a glamfag”.

  • VL

    Goatse counting for Hide and Seek.

  • http://www.myspace.com/orchids Mark

    Summing up everyone that lives in Williamsburg, Brooklyn

  • dicknballs

    You can stop looking – Chinese Democracy is in stores now.

  • http://www.myspace.com/beneaththesoil1 porterpotty

    GOOD IDEA:
    Trying to come up with a clever comment to impress the gentlemen behind Metalsucks.net to win a fun prize.

    BAD IDEA:
    Trying to reenact ’2 Girls 1 Cup’ by yourself to impress all your friends on the internet.

  • http://www.myspace.com/beneaththesoil1 porterpotty

    GOOD IDEA:
    Taking a deep breath before jumping into a swimming pool.

    BAD IDEA:
    Taking a deep breath when checking for anal warts.

  • tr00

    Joe the BUMmer

  • TheHardG

    “In a Last Ditch Effort To Find His Talent,Axl Rose Looks Up His Own Ass”

    or

    “This is Why Chinese Democracy Took So Long To Come Out”

  • Johnny Ringo

    “while discovering a new form of pleasuring himself, it is here, where Rob Halford discovered the inspiration for Nostradamus”

  • http://reaperx.deviantart.com Reaper-X

    When the record company suggested to Axl that he magically pull the new album out of his ass. They didn’t mean for him to actually do it!

  • Megan

    What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?

  • Crack Hitler

    Axolotl’s ” Inside What’s Within Behind ”

    and

    Ninja’s ” Before the “Miss Machine” cover shoot went horribly wrong. ”

    both getting votes from me. gold.

  • Chris

    The geniusness of Nickelback that no one tends to see………..

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    It was once rumored that shock-rocker Marilyn Manson had two of his ribs surgically removed so he could orally-fellate himself. Just imagine how many ribs this person must have had taken-out! Either that or (s)he’s a rather flexible Chinese-acrobat.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    I smell danger! Or last nights’ caserole! Still not very tasty…No.

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    Why bother going to the doctor for a prostate exam, when you can save yourself a couple bucks by checking it out yourself and saving the failing economy?

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    This guy/girl must be trying to reduce his/her heating expenses – and a good thing too – Did you know that the rectum is about 4 degrees warmer than a woman’s vagina? Do what this individual did and save on your heating costs this winter!

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    The late-comedian Bill Hicks once admitted during a live performance that he almost broke his back while trying to giving himself ‘head’, okay?!

    …That ‘browns’ in comparison to this: EXCRUCIATING PAIN!!!

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    So – THIS – is what ‘Mr. Fantastic’ does when the ‘Invisible Woman’ isn’t around!

  • http://www.nemrosim.blogspot.com/ AWB

    Hey everybody, I think I’ve finally found Waldo!…Oh wait, no…It’s just the guys from ‘Insane Clown Posse’…Whatever, let’s keep digging.

  • Sxfan2034

    where metallica fans go to escape the latest albums

  • iwrestledaferretonce

    Appearing at Rockstar Mayhem Festival 2009: Head Up An Ass!

  • Vesper

    That’s what you get for wearing that Styx t-shirt to a Slayer concert.

  • Ross

    After nearly fifty attempts, Bret Michaels realizes your rock of love is always in the last unwashed, cavernous orifice you look.

  • mike

    damn, i really am full of shit!

  • Kymberly Pray

    Found OSAMA!

    ~alternate,
    Found Waldo!

    Not all Cirque du Soleil acts make it into the final show.

    Seriously, does this make my ass look fat.

    Hey, Sarah Palin, the elections over – you can stop ducking those tough questions now.

    Not everyone understands Performance Art.

    Interesting way to protest the war.

    Detroit Lion fans were beyond hanging their heads in shame.

    (that was fun, thanks for the contest)

  • Bob

    I can still see Russia from my house, said Sarah Palin.

  • Alex

    “The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand…or so I have read”

  • Angel

    And They Say that MetalHeads Have Their Heads Up Their…Oh, Wait.

  • Zeenath Mogral

    “The recession has lead me to hole up in this obscure recess!”