2008, THE YEAR IN SUCK: THE FINAL TALLY!
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 at 12:00pm by Vince Neilstein
Yesterday was a fun day at the MS Mansion; with our Top 10 lists all handed in ahead of time, we let the MS Mansion Monkeys run the show whilst we watched you guys duke it out in the comments (”no ________?????? wtf???? you guyz are suxorz i’m never coming here again!!”) If you missed the fun, be sure to take a look at the Top 10 lists of your favorite metal blogger douchebags.
Anyway, we thought it’d be fun if we kept a tally of the nominations on said lists as well as the ridiculous shit that went down here yesterday while the MSM Monkeys flung poo at each other. Our list of lists, after the jump.
- Number of #1 nominations for Gojira’s The Way of All Flesh: 3
- Number of total nominations for Gojira’s The Way of All Flesh: 7
- Number of baby seals killed in the making of these lists: 0
- Number of commenters who expressed outrage at the exclusion of Protest the Hero from a list: 5
- Number of commenters who expressed outrage at the inclusion of Protest the Hero on a list: 5
- Number of commenters who think Genghis Tron are brilliant: 3
- Number of commenters who think Genghis Tron are total shite: 5
- Number of nominations for Enslaved Vertebrae: 5
- Number of nominations for Nachtmystium’s Black Meddle: Assassins Pt. 1: 6
- Number of writers with Van Halen-based pseudonyms to choose Nachtmystium’s Black Meddle: Assassins Pt. 1 as their #1 pick: 2
- Number of writers who used “hipster” and “black metal” in the same sentence: 4
- Nods to Torche’s Meanderthal: 4
- Number of times Corey Mitchell used the phrase “old fart” in his list: 7
- Number of commenters who expressed outrage at Gary Suarez’s list: 6
- Number of commenters who thought Gary Suarez’s list was the best on the site: 5
- Number of times Gary Suarez commented on his own list: 2
- Number of times Axl Rosenberg told Gary Suarez to stop commenting on his own list: 1
- Number of #1 nominations for Brian “Head” Welch: 0
- Number of total nominations for Brian “Head” Welch: 0
- Number of Top 10 lists that included Chinese Democracy: 1
- Number of Top 10 lists including Chinese Democracy written by someone with a pseudonym based on a member of Guns N’ Roses: 1
- Number of commenters to question the inclusion of Chinese Democracy on said list: 0
- Number of hours of sleep lost at the Axl Annex of the MetalSucks Mansion due to the Annex’s latest inhabitant, Sacha the death metal puppy: hundreds
- Number of Top 10 lists including Metallica’s Death Magnetic: 0
- Number of Top 10 lists written by Dallas Coyle: 0
- MetalSucks mansion fist fights induced by “Toxic Garbage Island”: 2
- Number of bong hits collectively ingested by the MetalSucks staff in 2008: bzzzzt, does not compute, bzzzzt
- Liters of Jameson consumed by Kip W. through list-making process: 750
- Liters of Jameson consumed by Vince at last week’s MetalSucks holiday party: bzzzzt, does not compute, bzzzzt
- Number of times Vince will continue to refer to Byzantine’s Oblivion Beckons as “overlooked” and “underrated”: infinity
- Number of times “overlooked” and “underrated” appeared in Top 10 lists: 4 (2 each)
- Commenters who expressed shock over the inclusion of The Mars Volta on Kip’s list: 1
- Commenters who expressed delight over the inclusion of The Mars Volta on Kip’s list: 2
- Number of MetalSucks staffers who actually tried to make something out of babies: 1
- Number of MetalSucks staffers who will no longer be MetalSucks staffers not because they tried to make something out of babies but because they’re in the slammer for said baby-using: 1
- Number of Top 10 lists I ever want to make again in my life: 0
- Number of days remaining until we start trying to wrap our heads around the inevitable “The ’00s Suck” countdown: 15
Good job team, hit the showers.
Number of days remaining until we start trying to wrap our heads around the inevitable “The ’00s Suck” countdown: 15
Put it off for a little while, still gotta make it through 2009, who knows what bullshit could happen by then.
I would just like to point out that the ad on the left side of my screen right now is from Shopzilla for “black metal briefcases.” Which is just a great mental image. Unfortunately none of the briefcases pictured are living up to my expectations.
Number of people who care about what Vince Neilstein thinks: 0.
you obviously care enough to post here…dumbass
^^I’d argue against that kind of logic….but I don’t care enough to do so.
How many people at the Mansion get naked to The Way of All Flesh?That oughta be on the list, cause I know someone has to do it.It can’t only just be me…..
I get the impression that those in the MS Mansion dig Gojira…
Number of Metalsucks readers who think “metal” is not so narrowly defined that in includes only the sub-genres with these in their name: “death”, “____core”, “prog”, “extreme”: Just me, I think.
Sammy, I’d be right there with you on that one.
You still didn’t mention All Shall Perish’ “Awaken the Dreamers”.
Oh, and we ALL forgot about Warrel Dane’s solo album ‘Praises To The War Machine’ when writing our lists. I regret the error.
Good job gang. Start a drinking binge that will last till Dec. 26th. Rest for 2 days and begin your New Year’s Eve drinking binge.
Holy fucking shit they read the comments.
Number of Writers who will include the new Napalm Death record in the 2010 list?
Better be damn everyone or I will promise bloodshed.
number of time psycroptic’s ob(servant) mentioned in year end lists
…0
YOU FUCKING CUM DUMPSTERS