GEE, I WISH THEY’D AT LEAST GIVE DYING A SHOT
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 at 9:47am by Axl Rosenberg
THERE’S AN NSFW IMAGE AFTER THE JUMP. YOU’RE WARNED.
Too Pure to Die’s Confess has got to be the first contender for worst album of 2009.
This album is so bad, I wouldn’t even give my copy away. There’s no one I hate that much.
You always hear bands saying how they wanna record the next Reign in Blood or the next Master of Puppets. Listening to Confess, it seems as though Too Pure to Die wanted to record the next Bury Your Dead. And still failed.
The record was co-produced by Zeuss (Shadows Fall, Kingdom of Sorrow, etc.) and Hatebreed’s Jamey Jasta, but you have to think that those two dudes could have found something better to do with their talents. Like produce anything that wasn’t this record.
The good cop vocals don’t sound like they have any auto tune, but they could have used it.
At a running time of 31 minutes and 37 seconds, this album is a mere 31 minutes and 37 seconds too long.
Seriously. I’d rather listen to that “MetalSucks is Run by Cunts” mp3 for half an hour.
Fuck this album.
(Blow Me out of Five Horns)
-AR
I’m at work here, thanks for the warning!
Yeah, you may want to put a NSFW on this guy.
The crime is that this will probably end up selling better than the Cynic album.
Damn, get that pic off the page or give us a NSFW warning.
CARRY THE BLAAAHME!
I believe that’s a rip off of a George Michael album cover.
C’mon, you guys are reading Metalsucks at work, do you really need and NSFW warning?
Wow, two shitty albums in one day. Nice way to kick off the new year.
NSFW??? what is that?? seriously…
NSFW: Not Safe For Work
CARRY THE BLAAAHME!
Idk why you guys hatting this album, this stuff is top notch; it’s right up there with Crossfade!
I had to review this album for Alternative Press, and it truly is unbelievably shitty.
I just finished reading most of these reviews during my break between classes and I must say they are pretty biased. These reviews seem to be based entirely on personal preference and are garbage at best. This album may not be very good but has more credit musically than “Chinese Democracy”; which is a sad sad attempt by Axl as a money grab on GnR fans, better yet is not remotely metal by genre, which is sad because the reader might figure this is a metal site that contains reviews of fucking metal albums. GnR’s new material is garbage hard rock with signs of other horrific mainstream genres that truly should be dragged out back and smothered. This album is part of 2P2D’s new direction and the band has gathered a solid foundation of followers of the past few years.
Fuck this horrid review and your sad media metal taste.
So, Mike, how many glowing reviews has Too Pure to Die received from respected publications? Just curious…
Insight for Mike: ALL reviews contain bias. You learn as much about the critic as you do from the review itself. Based on that, you decide which critics you like/respect/hate, then use their opinions as you see fit.
What have we learned about Axl? Well, he hates shitty, generic metal.
What have we learned about you? Despite your able to express yourself with mostly correct grammar, your tastes do not line up with this site. You are most likely drooling over your Jonas Brothers front row tickets.
And me? Well, I think you need to calm down and go tell your big brother who is in Too Pure To Die that not everyone likes his stuff. It’s not all bad, even Nickelback sells records.
In all honesty though, this album’s not THAT bad. But after giving it a few listens it feels like they’re doing what Bury Your Dead did with their last album. But there are LOADS of other bands to bash under a guise of a so-called “review.”
JTL, its the 21st century my friend. Most credable reviewers these days do their homework and subscribe to objectivity. So in fact, ALL reviews do not contain bias.
I sadly had no clue who the Jonas Brothers even were; upon taking a quick Google check on the name I now know them to be a rock group of sorts… Why do you know who they are in the first place…
As for “he hates shitty, generic metal”, thats the funniest thing ive read all day; the guy payed off myspace and various other media tycoons to get the album out to the greatest amount of ears, and unhappy with the albums numbers he has tried to/or has already sued Dr.Pepper.
2P2D is a band trying to break a new sound on a not so media-large label, they are american and I am German, which might just mean im not related to any of the member in that band. And seeing how English is my third language and I dont resort to spell check, id have to think my writing and speaking of it isnt half that bad seeing how those I write and talk to have no problem in understaning me.
Didnt expect any better from another American so called “metal blog”.
Cudos moron.
I’m listening to Diecast right now……What up bitches… ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
Sorry Mike but there is no such thing as a music review without bias. We all have our own tastes in music. For example I recently downloaded a couple songs by a band named Devourment who I’d never heard before. They play some pretty extreme death metal and I fucking hated it. I’m not th biggest death metal fan so if I reviewed their album it wouldn’t be very flattering other than some positive comments on the technicality of the music. But I’m sure someone who really enjoys this genre of music may think it’s totally awesome and give it a great review. My bias gives a bad review and someone else’s bias gives a great review. JTL hit the nail on the head. An album review with no bias is not a review at all just a technically correct observance. You don’t even have to listen to an album to do that. Music is as much about personal taste as technical proficiency and it’s review should reflect the same.
define: objectivity, get with the century cavemen.
Sorry guyz, I are an dumbass!
@Mike:
“the guy payed off myspace and various other media tycoons to get the album out to the greatest amount of ears, and unhappy with the albums numbers he has tried to/or has already sued Dr.Pepper.”
What are you talking about?
If you dont know about the axl and him sending his lawyers after drpepper, than your an idiot.
Anything touched by Jamey Jasta has to be pure shit.
i looove this song!! it definitly stands out!! i LOVE JB!!
i cant wait to see the jonas brothers 3d conert experience! this song is the best!!
love this song!!!!!!
i saw them at the gibson ampitheartre here in LA they rocked so hard!!! I LOVE U NICK JONAS!! lol wow that does not sound like me.
there awesome live