MetalSucks

In the past while on tour, I’ve encountered many special things that I regret not having a video camera around to document. Last summer, we did have the foresight to bring one along, and it was totally worth it. We ended up whittling down close to six hours of footage into a ten minute “rockumentary” of that particular tour. However, some of the people we filmed along the way deserved to be seen in their fully candid, unedited glory, and here’s a particular character I’d like to share with you all.

We arrived to the show in Orlando, FL early enough to hang with the daytime locals at the bar we were playing. Not long after we sat down, this dude comes in announcing that he only has one dollar, but needs a beer. He got it, and proceeded to infiltrate our little clique, dazzling us with his sloppy redneck wit. I grabbed the video camera and let it roll.

The amount of pure gold that spewed from this guy’s mouth was very impressive. World, meet Bobby:

Within an hour, we had played out the “we love each other detrimentally” line harder than a Borat impression. And unfortunately we didn’t have the camera rolling to catch his first spoken words in our presence, a charming-but-not-effective “why you so pretty?” to the bartender. Sure, I filmed Bobby because everything about his whole redneck facade is entertaining, but I don’t want to come off as thinking I’m better than him. I mean, I am, but there are many things about this man that I admire, and I’ll always have fond memories of him.

-SD