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FORMER STATIC-X GUITARIST CELEBRATES IMPENDING RELEASE OF BAND’S NEW ALBUM BY GETTING THROWN BACK IN JAIL

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tripplikesemyoung

Tripp Eisen, who has at one time or another been the guitar player for such illustrious acts as Static-X, Dope and The Murderdolls, is apparently back in prison.

For those that don’t remember, Eisen (né Tod Rex Salvadore, which already kind of a porn-y name) went to jail in ’06 after he was caught shtupping an underage girl; apparently he met the young ‘un online and convinced her he wasn’t Tripp Eisen, just some dude who looked like Tripp Eisen. Which I think must be the first time in history a rock star has ever gotten laid by pretending not to be a rock star.

Asked why he didn’t just go the Tyler/Nugent route of becoming the lass’ legal guardian so he could legally have sex with her, Eisen responded “Two reasons: a) it’s too much work, and b) I’m not ready for a committed, monogomous relationship right now.” Fair enough.

ANYWAY, it apparently Eisen went and done it again, according to this website that helps being track local sex offenders: a report says Eisen attempted “to Lure or Entice a Child” in October of ’08. Consequently, he’s been back behind bars since December, where he will apparently remain until October of ’09.

Here’s a picture of Eisen back when he didn’t look nearly as glamorous as he does in the above mug shot:

In other Static-X news, the band is apparently releasing a new album as part of their ongoing effort to prove that there is no God. Although I know it’s wrong to associate the nu-metallers with their former scum bag guitar player since he’s no longer in the band, I don’t especially care becuse, well, fuck Static-X.

-AR

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