THE ECONOMY IS IN RUINS! ONLY DUFF MCKAGAN CAN SAVE US NOW…
Friday, January 30th, 2009 at 1:06pm by Axl Rosenberg
In case ya didn’t know: in the years following his time in Guns N’ Roses, Duff McKagan actually went back to school and got his degree in… finance. If I’m not mistaken, that makes him the only member of the original GN’R to have a college degree – when they were most at their most successful, only Izzy Stradlin was even a high school graduate – which may explain why Duff and Izzy are the only members of the original band who have not completely humiliated themselves in the years since, either by appearing on a reality show, becoming a fucknuts recluse, taking gigs with anyone who can meet their quote, or being Matt Sorum.
ANYWAY, McKagan has a column at SeattleWeekly.com, and this week he chose to make a big announcement: he’s going to be a financial columnist for Playboy.com.
Now, I know this might sound like a completely ludicrous idea, but we’ve managed to obtain a copy of Duff’s inaugural column*, and it’s actually pretty good. Check it out:
DUFF MCKAGAN’S TOP TEN TIPS FOR GOOD FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT by Duff McKagan
- Stay Sober – it’s much harder to keep track of your money when you’re fucked up.
- Don’t Let Your Pancreas Explode – it’s costly to fix.
- Don’t Sign a Contract Giving Ownership of Your Band’s Name to Your Lead Singer – you will regret it later.
- In Fact, Don’t Even Hire a Lead Singer – they’re costly and nuthin’ but trouble and you can sing good enough on your own.
- Get a Piggy Bank - but it doesn’t actually have to look like a piggy… mine is Batman!
- Marry a Really, Really Hot Woman – there’s no money in this, but it will make you feel better when you’re broke.
- If You Have More than One Child, Only Feed One a Day – my daughters know to ration.
- You’re Better Off with a Roth IRA than With a 401(k) – and it’s easy to remember because it rhymes!
- If They Pay You in Cash, You Don’t Have to Report it to the IRS – true dat.
- You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory – so don’t try.
What financial gems will Duff offer in the future? We’ll hafta wait and see…
-AR
*But not really. Please don’t sue us, Duff.
Look at the funbags on that hose-hound!
I’m talkin’ bout a little place called assspeeennnn….
That lady’s chest wagons look really far apart
Playboy has a financial column?
Maybe “I read it for the articles!” could be a decent excuse lol
Believe it or not, Duff invested $50,000 in Starbucks when it was first starting out and made millions of dollars from that investment.
Probably the most financial sense anyone has made in a while.
Duff is so cool, one time some guy(drummer from faster pussycat) passed out in his bed at a hotel so he duck taped him up and put him on the elevator shaft, also he is a financial beast who REALLY REALLY needs to write his own book!