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What the fuck??

FUCK GUITAR HERO: METALLICA – SUFFOCATION ARE MAKING THEIR OWN VIDEO GAME

 Friday, February 20th, 2009 at 3:15pm by

2009 is Suffocation’s twentieth anniversary (!), and they’re celebrating in all the usual ways: a headlining tour, a new album, a DVD, and… a video game?

In a statement, the band orders fans to “”Keep an eye out for Suffocation’s upcoming video game which will include unreleased tracks from Suffocation along with a comic book and many other amazing surprises.”

Now, you gotta wonder: what the flying fuck will a fucking Suffocation video game entail? Obviously Guitar Hero and their ilk will never make a Suffocation game the way they’ve made Aerosmith and Metallica games – for one thing, I think literally every death metal fan in the world would have to buy a copy for it to make even 1/10th as much moolah as the Metallica game will, and for another thing, if the makers of Guitar Hero found Slayer’s lyrics too risqué, I can only imagine what they’d make of Suffocation lyrics.

So are Suffocation just going ahead and making their own rhythm game? Or will this be a good old fashioned platformer? Or a role playing game? Can you imagine if you had to play out some Suffocation lyrics? Like if Level 1 was “Infecting the Crypts,” and then you had to exhume a maggot infested wretched body from its timeless slumber?

I, for one, am now incredibly curious. Stay tuned for more details… and feel free to speculate on what the game might entail in our comments section.

-AR

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  • CarlosRamirez

    Metal Inquisition dudes are stoked!

  • dthrasher

    I’m sure that this game will be almost as incredible as the Mastodon game was except with 1/10 the budget.

  • kirk

    Itll be like Zelda, except you collect Effigys of the Forgotten and unleash various members of Suffocation to bring forth chaos into the world… until jesus weeps

  • http://metalmartyr.com Metal Martyr

    I remember the last time I bought a video game put out by a band. It was called Ed Hunter and it was pretty much just a way of getting you to buy another best of compilation from Iron Maiden. Hopefully this is better than that one, which I never did get passed the subway. I doubt if it will be on any platform, probably just a half-assed PC game.

    Either way though a new album and DVD will definitely be great. Headlining, they deserve and unless they totally rape the ape on this one, I imagine the new album will be even better than Evisceration Plague. Their last self titled from ’06 on Relapse was bonerific.

  • http://metalmartyr.com Metal Martyr

    I remember the last time I bought a video game about a band. It was called “Ed Hunter” and it was just a way of getting you to buy another Iron Maiden compilation. I doubt if this will be on any platform, probably a crappy PC game, but at least it’s suffocation.

    These guys deserve to headline. If the new album is anything like their 06 Relapse release, it will be well worth it. Can’t wait to see the DVD.

  • Brett

    It will probably end up going nowhere, like the Metallica car combat game and the Ozzy flying dragon game (those are real). At least Ear Ache managed to get a racing game out, but there isn’t a huge market for this stuff.

  • canea

    Please let it be a Flash game with some really tinny Suffocation riffs.

    That’s the only way it will really work for me.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    Maybe it’ll be an all Suffocation version of Dance Dance Revolution.

  • http://metalmartyr.com Metal Martyr

    Pardon the double post. Thought I had navigated away from the page by accident and reposted.

    Hell yeah, Dance-dance to Pierced from within!

  • blen genton

    I REEEECIEVEEED MUCH…. EXCITEMENT… FROOOOOM THESE TWOOOO BLOOOOWS…

    sorry it sounds like a terrible idea. but anything by the band that put effigy out is pretty much mandatory, so 40 bucks later, i’ll tell ya how bad it is…

  • lmarcellot

    It’s paper boy, but it’s totally \m/ ! First of all you’re part of a street team, instead of getting chased by dogs, you have to run from groopies’ STDs. You don’t ride a bike, but an inconspicuous Econoline van. And you wake up in a pile of bile, when you lose.

  • SourDeez

    You control Frank Mullen’s hand, and you chop the air really really fast, in order to knock down churches. As you go on, the churches get much bigger and harder to take down, requiring the use of unlockable Mike Smith blast beats.

  • Malacoda

    The object will be to make Jesus weep.

  • Will

    @ SourDeez I shot ice tea through my nose!

  • The Vase

    Hey, here’s an idea: Suffucation drums with drum controller for guitar hero ^_^

  • contemptmedia

    one time, I drank whiskey with Terrence at a strip club. I don’t think any game will be more fun than that.

  • http://www.myspace.com/kevlarskin Frank West

    Actually, is a First Person Shooter and the members of the band will be final bossess….weird, weird idea. I think there would be even unreleased stuff in the OST, along with all the suffo classics. You can check a screenshot of Frank at http://www.metalkill.com.

    I coudn’t even imagine how on earth they could make Terrance a menacing final boss…