HERE’S A PICTURE OF MARIA BRINK IN PLAYBOY!
Friday, February 20th, 2009 at 11:27am by Vince Neilstein
Because we’re the metal version of The National Enquirer, we’re journalisticly obliged to post this, right? Not to do so would be negligent, right? Right?
Fine, fuck it, she’s got huge ta-tas. I mean look at those puppies!!
-VN
[Thanks: Brutal Jay]
Wow… she only kinda looks like a tattooed Real Doll in that picture, as opposed to the usual.
Uh-oh, looks like there might be some dip-age on the way down, there, can you say golf-ball-in-a-condom?
Playboy won’t show any of her tattoos, huh? How typical.
Can’t say I care for their music, but don’t tell me read Playboy for the articles?
On better news, Mastodon’s new album leaked.
Would.
I wonder if a reduction would make her feel more confident? Her back must really be sore.
…Just concerned.
Hmmm… only leak I could find was 128 with the last track missing… I’ll wait for something better.
“I love long baths,” she purrs.
“No way!” she says, giggling.
When did Playboy turn into a crappy romance novel? I mean, I haven’t picked up an issue since I was 12, but seriously. And really, Miss Brink, why won’t you just show us the goods? Don’t let Playboy photoshop them, either. I prefer grainy cell phone pictures to whitewashed spreads in a magazine.
Well i certainly like that better than her music…she should quit the band and pursue magazine spreads as a living
damn id tounge jam her fart box
How long will it be before this, and when I say this, I mean those, is the only thing she is known for?
two words: Motor Boat.
@ CarlosRamirez:…would too.
@earth2tom: I give it six months. Worst vocalist ever, worst band ever, death to false metal, etc.
Damn, my gran’s tits are perkier than that. Aging is not gong to be good for those knockers.
@ Grim Kim earth2tom: Isn’t that already what’s she known for? That’s what really annoys me about ITM – not only are they bad, but they really owe all their success to the fact that people think Maria is hot.
look at it this way; the more chuds they can convince to buy their music based solely on the looks of the lead singer, the more often we get to see photos like this. on the flipside, if their fad train were to leave the station, she may be forced to remove that sweater in order to get some press. and since nobody is forcing you to listen to their music while looking at these pictures, its basically a win/win.
Hmmm…. ITM is a video band… if they just release a video for each song on their album (the new one blows dick, was gonna review it, decided to toke up instead), with maria doing various erotic dances, and on the final track strips completely and blows the rest of the band, I think we might have the next big thing (Hahahahaha.. get it :P…sorry am stoned)
Might aswell just release a porno… It’ll sound better then their music, and lets face it, it counts as art, unlike their rehashed bull shit excuse for music..
HAIL PUPPIES !
p.s. isnt it about time we have a monthly spread with metal chicks posing nude from various bands, and what not. is there one already and I dont know of, there cant be…
That shit will sell faster then Death Magnetic !
I never thought she was a good singer and I never thought she was hot. Do-able, but not hot. She looks nice in the picture with her tats (not tits) covered. Jewbacca is kind of right though. With time those naturals are going to sag even worse and it’s bad enough that bras and porn is so deceiving when it comes to breasts. It’s no wonder she wears those little dresses that hold ‘em up. Still do-able.
ITM came to my town last week wit mudvayne and nonpoint. pretty good show but ITM sucked. the best part in their act was that after every song she would undo her top little by little. why doesnt playboy offer a photoshoot so we can finally see those ti.. um.. tats
Ugh. Maria Brink’s mile-long cleavage: 20 comments.
AGORAPHOBIC FUCKING NOSEBLEED’S new album/track: 2 comments.
We’re a bunch of idiots.
@Pick-Axe Bobby: Nah, you’re just a bunch of DUDES. And paaaaaainfully predictable, at that.
@coffinhollow
I laughed my ass off at that shit……but seriously I would wreck her. She wouldnt be able to walk right for weeks. She would damn sure scream when I got a peice of her
Wow, and she’s still wearing a shirt :(
She looks like a white version of porn star Nina Mercedez in this picture…Ill be the meat in that ho sandwich.
I’d fuck the shit out of her.
Like my buddy always says about chicks with big tits that’ll be saggy in 10 years – “I’m fucking her NOW, not in 10 years. I don’t give a fuck about what her tits’ll look like then, I’m just worried about what she can do with the now.”
Truf.
I had to wikipedia her name to see what band she was in (never heard of them, never plan on bothering to listen to them).
I say Simone Simons > Maria Brink, when it comes to drool-worthy tits, though.
She’s had a kid, just incase any of you don’t know, not only does that make breasts swell at least 1 if not 2 cup sizes, but afterwards, they’ve been stretched and thus the same amount of matter inside to occupy more space, well, you can do the math.
goldball in a condom indeed.
I was never really big on her.. she’s not BAD looking, but I’m not into big tits and blonde hair. I like small breasts and dark hair. consequently, I find Kristen Randall quite eye pleasing.
OK for all of you that can only say she should perform nude… heres one for the ladies.. how about all the metal dudes that look hot (or try to ) but cant sing should only perform nude and show what they have? at least w/ the ladies you see the chest! we have to guess what you have in the pants! I will say the bashing goes on w/ her (and Im gonna hear it from this) but she sounds a lot better than a lot of newer bands out there! at least she can carry the notes / screams!
“she sounds a lot better than a lot of newer bands out there! at least she can carry the notes / screams!”
Have you HEARD this broad? First off, grandmother(let alone any legitimate metal chick) can scream better than her, and what with new albums from AnB, Blut Aus Nord, Absu, Funeral Mist, Cormorant, and Thyrfing coming out soon, I’d have to disagree vehemently with the former part of that statement as well.
First off..Blut Aus Nord sounds like all their songs are the same and nothing different let alone just meditation music.. Absu/Comorant.. what to be said kicks..Thyrfing is more closely recorded to ITM (but hearing them live v.s. album for ITM live is a lot more harder) but was mostly goin w/ chick singers.. (sorry for not being so specific.. but hey knew Id get shit for it!) We all know limits just like the dudes cant hit some notes the chicks can and visa versa…Mostly going back to the ARTICLE.. I still wanna see the guys balls/and.. out there for everytime I gotta hear the shit about a singers tits!
Not to nitpick, but saying that all Blut Aus Nord’s songs sound the same is one of the more laughable statements I’ve encountered in recent memory. Listen to Ultima Thulee, The Work Which Transforms God, and the new one, Memoria Vetusta: Dialogue With the Stars, and tell me all their songs sound the same. I can’t figure out what you were saying about Absu and Cormorant, and implying that Thyrfing is similar to ITM is like saying a rabid mountain lion is similar to a newborn kitten; Thyrfing are Swedish black metal with folk elements, and ITM are beyond shitty pseudo-metal. Also, if you’re looking for proof that women can rock out just as hard as men can, refer to the brutal women of Bahimiron, Gallhammer, F.I.D., Bolt Thrower, Darkestrah, Estuary, Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult, and Bestial Holocaust for your first lesson.
Sorry to rant, but the needless adulation of any singer with a pair of tits and no talent who fronts a metal/metal-ish band is a pet peeve of mine.
This photo DOES answer the eternal “real or saline” question though.
Jesus fuck that bitch cannot sing. I need to go bleach my ears now, and I only listened to about 15 seconds worth of that shit.
Those ta tas are the only reason she has a “music” career.
What the hell are all you fags talking aabout brinks is the shit. not only is she hot she scream like no other. if she sucks then you must not know music you dumbass peices of shit.
Maria is a beautiful wwoan who shouldnt havr to show anything just because all of you assholes dont know what good music is or what true beauty is
Fuk_allhayters you are exzactly right all these assholes need to learn how to have respect for ladies.
fuck all the other people Maria Brink is fucking amazing the most perfect scream
I think this blog is absolutely discusting. All of you fucking horny ass bastards need to do something better then sit here and think about how much you wish you could be with her. She deserves some fucking respect. In This Moment is a great band, and if you don’t like them, don’t sit there and talk about how much you don’t like it.
so true Casey.. well said! Rock on Maria and ITM!!
Exzactly Maria is the best. Looks like an angel screams like a deman
Maria is stunnin in my opinion. Just stop bad mouthing her ok.
I wish they came over to the UK!!! I’d be the first person to get a ticket to see them. I think their a great band and to me seem down to earth.
Maria has an amazing voice and just to think this is just the start to an amazing singing career.
Love I.T.M
Maria and ITM is a very amazing band everyone needs to grow the fuck up and stop bad mouthing her if you don’t like to music don’t listen stop being whinny little emo babies about it….
Maria Brink is an amazing woman/vocalist.
It sickens me to see what people say about her, just because she is attractive.
Give the woman the respect she deserves.
Im goin to see ITM in a month, cant wait… they playing with papa raoch too but ITM is what im goin for.
HAIL ITM!
all u guys are fucked in the head maria is a great vocalist. after the beautiful tragedy album they got popular because they were freakin awesome and they have great lyrical content. i admit since that album the band went down a little but as far as maria and the band “sucking” that’s bullshit and all u guys blow.
yeah she posed for a magazine…who gives a shit! she has the most amazing screams in the world. the best girl at it. and all u fucks who talk shit, just remember you’ll get hit!!!