ANOTHER SIGN OF THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE: COLD HAVE REUNITED
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
I saw Cold open for Marilyn Manson once. Even though it was a good month after Halloween (I recall only because it was Thanksgiving weekend), guitarist Terry Balsucko wore a Michael Meyers mask the whole set and stood almost perfectly still, hunched over his guitar as though he should be in the belfry at Notre Dame; vocalist Scooter Ward stood at the lip of the stage, smoking a cigarette and remaining otherwise completely stationary; and drummer Sam McCandless’ hair was dyed to look like a cheetah’s fur.
Needless to say, it was the most painful forty minutes of my life.
SO. I got some press release last night about Cold touring with a bunch of bands I’ve never heard of and I assume are terrible. Once I got done having a panic attack, I actually read the press release, and, yes, the band has joined the “Nu Metal Refuses to Die” club and reunited, following in the footsteps of their heroes, Limp Bizkit (A band which, oddly enough, Balsamo played guitar with for all of ten seconds before Fred Durst finally figured out a number high enough to lure Wes Borland back into the fold.). Along with the Creed reunion, this is the latest in an ongoing trend of terrible bands from the 90s attempting to make a comeback. Which we always knew would happen – if two versions of LA Guns still have careers, there was certainly room in the world for Limp Bizkit to make money.
The difference, of course, is that I don’t mind hair metal, which at least doesn’t take itself too seriously,while scientific studies have proven that listening to Cold, Limp Bizkit and Creed will, without fail, lead to nut cancer. True story.
So: how long before all of these groups team up for big summer shed shit fest, the way Poison/Warrant/Cinderella/Slaughter/whatever other 80s band is avail do on an annual basis? And, once that happens, shouldn’t we all pretty much put our heads between our legs and kiss our asses good-bye, as the end of days will surely follow immediately thereafter?
While you ponder these questions, here’s the video for Cold’s “Stupid Girl,” the only Cold song that doesn’t make me wanna join a terrorist cell and devote my life to destroying the Great Satan. Mostly, I reckon, that’s because the song was written by Rivers Cuomo, so it sounds more or less like a Weezer song, but belly achier. Cuomo was reportedly really, really into Limp Bizkit, too, and I think I even read somewhere that he recorded a song with them or some shit.
Man, fuck Weezer.
SSStupid girl
sloppy fingers submitted too soon (tab entered). Anyway, Stupid Girl was the only song I ever knew from these guys. Was never interested enough from that song to hear the rest. I guess that was a good thing?
I always thought they had some pretty cool songs. I’m not as worried about this as the Creed or Limp Bizkit reunions.
You guys are really testing my patience with all your bitching. Just get back to sucking that God Forbid cock.
lol@Ben.
I’ll admit it, I like Cold. You guys will tout Lacuna Coil but not Cold so I’m a bit baffled. Let them come out with a song first before we throw them down the stairs.
I like COLD’s music, so I guess I’ll start my Chemo. I could do without their “look” though.
Agreed. Fuck Weezer. It’s clear the Blue Album was a fluke and the man has shit taste. On a related note: I hate bands/musicians/guitarists that hunch over their instruments. I saw Godsmack (I know, I know, but it was Ozzfest) once, and the bassist literally stomped in a circle for 40 minutes hunched over his instrument like a retarded child. Fuck him, and fuck these guys.
I’ve never seen them live, but for quieter moments, I don’t mind some Cold.
Damn, I usually agree with Axl. But not only do I think Cold is good “first two albums at least.” But to say that stupid girl is their only good song is like saying starlight was Muse’s only decent song, which is pretty gay…
Cold was not as terrible as you play them out to be. True, being lumped in with the nu-metal crowd may not be a touting endorsement for those who really never heard them, however the worst thing in music history next to Don Johnson and Eddie Murphy recording albums is a Limp Bizkit reunion.
For the record, Rivers Cuomo did not write Stupid Girl. As a result of the song sounding “Weezer-like” the band invited him to do the second vocal tracks on the chorus. And in my opinion it is the worst song Cold ever did. So it goes!!
Forget all of these bands, just by the new God Forbid and Daylight Dies and enjoy the day. See you in Atlanta!!
I think Scooter Ward lost the plot a little but I disagree with this dismissal of them. Year Of The Spider is a good album – good songs.
And why continue the Creed reforming rant. It’s never been more than a rumour. Alter Bridge have just begun work on a new album.
I’m really concerned about your impartiality. Cold is not nu metal, to be fred durst’s discovery doesn’t mean they suck. Their first album is very weird (in the good sense). I agree their last effort sucks, but I understand that they are back with their first line up.. so, I hope good music comes with this.
I don’t think it’s fair to lump Cold in with Limp Bizkit and Creed. Cold was one of the few bands lumped in with that crowd that actually put out good albums.
Meh, they’re not bad. If we ranked all metal bands just by how their live performances were, there’d be some very big-name bands flopping around in the septic tank. I’ll never see the band live, thus, how the band acts live has absolutely nothing to do with my opinion of them.
It’d be nice to see a “This band sucks…” post that’s actually got some valid musical reasons as to why the writer thinks they suck, not just some inane bullshit not even related to the music the band makes.
Should I despise Cattle Decapitation because I think all vegetarians are brain-dead? No. Why the fuck would how Cold plays live affect what I think of their album music.
The “Stupid Girl” video shows a good example of what not to do at a metal show. Moshing and stage diving to that song?
damn, i miss nu metal. Bring back Ultraspank!!!!!! hahahaha biatches
I think that if you never heard anything about a Weezer collaboration on “Stupid Girl” you would never guess it happened. I dig Weezer, and I don’t hear ANY Weezer influence in the song.
Now that he mentioned Weezer, that actually does sound like something Rivers would sing. Damn; I learn something new everyday.
And Cold was alright. I liked “A Different Kind of Pain” even though it wasn’t their rockin’-est(?) album.
Come on, dude. Cold ain’t that bad. At least Scooter doesn’t bullshit us with the lyrics. Cure My Tragedy is moving song.
Are we thinking of the same band? Are we all discussing the same Cold? You know, the band that collaborated with the dreadful Aaron Lewis? The band that was discovered by Fred Durst? The band that features a former Limp Bizkit guitarist?
Maybe it’s not necessary to parcel out what is “technically” nu-metal and what isn’t, but I think the above credentials bring Cold at least dangerously close to being lumped into that lot.
And how about the band’s overly melodramatic live persona? Come on. It’s embarrassing to watch grown men behave this way. This band is so pathetic that it got kicked off a fucking Weezer tour because it was too lame for THAT crowd. That says a lot, and none of it is good.
Just what is your guys’ problem with COLD?!
They fucking rock
I think there are a lot of Staind fans reading this website. They feel your pain, guys.
Their first cd is pretty good. For someone who hypes God Forbid so much, you’d think Cold would be right up your alley!
What the fuck is the obsession with slapping every single band that exists into a genre? Seriously, who gives a fuck is Cold is nu-metal – that doesn’t automatically mean they suck.
People making that argument are no better than the morons who say “All metal is Satanic” because Ozzy bit bats’ heads off.
I think it’s embarrassing that guys paint their faces white and dance around, pretending to be human-eating demons from hell, but that doesn’t make a shit of difference as to what I think of their music.
I’m honestly amazed at the love Cold is getting. Something went wrong.
^Agreed. This reeks of Voodoo. Is there a Cold web/street team that scours the internet for negative press? Must be.
I listened to a Cold album once. That Spider one I think. Bored the shit out of me.
I don’t listen to radio, I don’t watch music TV channels, so I really don’t care. It’s not being stuffed down my throat.
I admit that it’s sad that all these garbage bands are still/back at it, and it’s an interesting bit of news, but I just can’t see how people defend shit ass bands. It’s not even an opinion thing, I don’t like a bunch of bands that get great press (Nachtmystium, or however it’s spelled) but Cold and Limp Bizkit, and Creed are BAD BANDS. They suck.
Now a reunion I want to hear about would be Sleep!!!
Qella, I like Sleep and Cold. What now???
Vincent, Conduit, and especially Only Deaf is Real, maybe if you guys would stop being so concerned with how popular your particular “genre” of choice is you’d actually have some time to listen to music for the… well… music. Seriously, grow up and get over all the bullshit. If you don’t like it, fine, but look at Only Deaf is Real’s argument here. Utterly asinine. Nothing… NOTHING to do with their music. So, who the fuck cares??? Again, grow up.
Weezer fucking rules
I met these guys right after they released the “Spider” album, and were doing warm-up gigs to get ready for the Family Values tour. They were playing in a club to about 200 people, and acted like they were Aerosmith or something. Probably the greatest example of over-inflated self-importance that I have ever seen. Heck, local bands were drawing crowds just as big at the time.
Cold is by far one of the most underrated bands of all time.they sing about life like no one does and alot of people find themselves in their songs. So what if its emotional?It touches people. So what if its not heavy metal? That dont mean it aint good. Pretty stupid in my opinion to judge bands like that.
I would like to add that Scooter Ward personally is a complete and total deuchebag. I know this first hand as we have to deal with his psychotic girlfriend daily who just happens to be the mother of my boyfriends daughter. She kidnapped the child and ran away to Scooter Ward’s place in Florida after meeting him on My space. Hmmm someone whose lyrics speak of so called pain and devastation at the attrocities of life is actually the main cause of pain and devastation to a family. That band sucks, their persona is a joke, and their is a reason why their “fame” wained so quickly. Scooter, Karma is a bitch and you’re getting everything you deserve you piece of shit!