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FOR THOSE OF US ACTUALLY GETTING LAID, HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO GET YOUR WOMAN TO LIKE METAL

 Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 12:30pm by

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Vince has gone into some detail in the past about the travails of dating a girl who isn’t into metal; I’ve kept my own struggles to educate the future ex-Mrs. Axl Rosenberg more private, but I do feel Vince’s pain.

Lucky for us, then, that Thrash Hits has pointed us towards this article at self-titledmag.com, which outlines a plan to get your non-metal gf to give into the dark side. Here’s an excerpt:

1. Start with something she can tolerate.

Might we suggest Black Sabbath’s self-titled debut or Paranoid. Ozzy is a voice she’ll recognize, if not from TV, at least from “Crazy Train.” And the blues riffs will remind her of Led Zeppelin, which she loves (especially II, which is overrated). Also, believe it or not, but a steady diet of mainstream ’90s rock such as Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins and Jane’s Addiction just might break through her first wall of distaste. Be sure to pepper your conversation while listening with such comments as “Wow, that’s a brutal riff” and “Hell, Billy Corgan might be a candy-ass, but the yelling part of ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’ is fuckin’ metal” (emphasizing the word metal) when necessary to solidify the connection.

2. Help her understand that not all metal is Cradle of Filth.

Despite this band’s ultimate suckiness, Cradle of Filth is, without hesitation, the first thing that comes into your girlfriend’s head when she thinks of metal, a travesty that absolutely must be remedied. This is a perfect time to introduce Mastodon, whose crossover appeal is known and proven.

This is solid advice, as both Vince and his woman have confirmed to me that Vince empoyed many of these tactics when trying to show her the power of the metal (It hasn’t really worked, of course, but, y’know. Baby steps.).

Read the rest of the article here.

-AR

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  • Mike =O

    LOL. Hm I should try that

  • TXn

    One starter I tried was Alice Cooper actually… School’s Out, I’m Eighteen.

    Also, even though not really metal, try noise rock on her too…Sonic Youth, My Bloody Valentine, etc.

    GOOD LUCK guys

  • Jenna

    Haha, I’m a girl who already likes metal. Guys have actually tried the opposite of this article, believe it or not. …Ew.

    • Soul

      so ur saying guys have tried to make u not metal, some typical ditzy girl
      god help us all

  • Benny Lava

    In my opinion, it is best to soften her up with something she’ll really hate. Maybe some Merzbow noise music. After that, Opeth sounds soothing and pleasant. One might also have success with a female fronted band, like Nightwish or Aghora.

    …and then there is Iron Maiden. You see, if your gal is like mine, she might hate the way Bruce sings. All bets are off here.

    Though honestly I don’t think you can change people’s tastes per se. I mean if your girlfriend tried to get you into Conway Twitty would you be really into it? Could you ever see the light? The only real shot you have is if she hasn’t really heard anything that metal has to offer, then maybe.

  • lordandmaster

    the best way I can describe the absolute best way to do it is like the first time you’re introducing her to anal…..

  • Molti

    Interestingly enough, my relationship is the other way around.
    I love metal, but my boyfriend prefers Jimmy Buffet. *shrug*

  • Rob

    Also, you should consider that maybe your girlfriend/wife just doesn’t like metal. My wife said she loved death metal up until the day we got married, at which point she let me know that she hates extreme music of any kind. She still kind of digs on Psycroptic and Gojira (she likes the double bass), but even then only marginally.

    But, seriously, don’t let music get in the way of getting you laid. So your lady/man isn’t totally rabid over you finding a hand-numbered, signed edition of Absu’s Tara with a poster-sized version of the cover art on Blackmetal.com? Who gives a fuck? There are way more important things that can destroy your relationship, like politics, religion, and each others parents.

  • taog36

    my girlfriend hates all death metal, or anything extream, but i been geting her to like stuff like metallica, megadeth, GnR, dream theater. i showed her the kid from black tide is/was 15, and she thought that was cute and now she loves that band.

  • Ben

    Rob, if you’re serious, your wife is a snatch. Who the fuck lies to their significant other about their musical taste up until they get married????

  • Muzikwhore

    My experience in this situation wasn’t positive. You see I was the Metalhead and he was a graff artist and we connected on the art level but when it came to music taste…forget it. He said my music was a negative out look and made me aggressive toward life. I put up with this for about 6 years cause the sex was great and I loved him but after he said he didn;t want me attending shows anymore…..well let’s just say I had BOB attending to me @ nite when needed. If you can make this work…more power to you. But if it’s just as sex thing then keep ur Metal and Non Metal sex separate. I’ll never date another Non Metalhead or Metalhead! I need therapy……

  • Emily

    As a woman, I feel qualified in saying that getting her into Within Temptation, Nightwish, Poisonblack, After Forever, etc would be a good first step. Most girls I know can dig Nightwish just fine. If you want to continue on, introduce some growling with Epica/Tristania/Sirenia/Trail of Tears. Then you can ease into melodic death with bands like Into Eternity and Scar Symmetry! And go on from there. It’s worked for me!

  • Phil

    This thread has turned into a therapy session… wtf?

  • da tr00f

    i had some marginal success with opeth’s ghost reveries and between the buried and me’s colors.

  • raiseyerfists

    Sabbath definitely works…Opeth and Pelican are good too. Dying Fetus most definitely does not work. That one might set you back a few weeks.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/amarkonthedoor Catherine

    Try Opeth! Or just find a girl who likes metal already ;)

  • RandyxJames

    ‘Traced In Air’ is perfect

  • iolanach

    Bullshit. Don’t pamper ‘em. Go straight in with the classics. A good mix of Death, Carcass, Obituary, Atheist and Dismember should do the trick.

  • Savarose

    I’m a chick who loves metal, married to a guy who loves country. Yes, it does suck. Fucker used to like AC/DC. Now it’s Toby Keith. Argh!

    Best thing about being a female metalhead-there is never a line for the restroom at the shows I go to!

  • davemon

    my wife was first introduced to metal through mastodon…..then katatonia….then opeth. she credits gojira as her first real “metal” favorite…now she enjoys going to shows loves the doomish style death and withered is a new inspiration as well….crazy how it evolves. and how quickly!

  • Sammy

    Keeping in mind that I do *get* that the article has a sarcastic tone, I think most of those who listen to the bands touted on this here Metalsucks site are desensitized to what the “outside” world thinks is “metal”. Cradle of Filth is hardly top of mind in any circles outside the most narrowly focused metal scene.

    My wife will hear the slightest Mesa Boogie rectified sound and instantly is irritated by the grating sound of “metal noise”. Hell, she thinks some Nickelback is too heavy. I find metal fans to have a very serious problem with a lack of perspective.

  • hatewinter

    Gotta agree with Sammy, I’m pretty sure the average woman has no clue what Cradle of Filth even is.

  • Fog

    As a female who likes metal I had to deal with a nonmetal fan ex boyfriend who told me not to mention that I was a metal fan to his friends.

  • ell

    My relationship is the other way around, only my boyfriend’s into rap/hip hop. This would suck ass if he didn’t ‘kind of’ like metal like Devildriver (mostly, i think, for the drums/underlying groove and stuff) – his only complaint is that he can’t understand what they’re saying.

    Plus, he’ll happily borrow a shirt from one of my ‘metal’ friends and tag along to a Lamb of God show, so I can’t really complain :) I think he likes that I’m different.

    Besides, if your differing music tastes are enough to wreck a relationship… well, have a think about that.

  • http://www.myspace.com/yourmomsasmoothtalker jamie

    I have to agree with ben and iolanach.
    ho, how lame of me to read comments.

  • ferocious_fetus

    I used to make my girlfriend mix CD’s when we first started dating and incorporated “extreme metal” into the mix slowly over the years.

    It’s also a matter of finding the right song that could lead to instant conversion.
    The Dillinger Escape Plan’s more recent pop stuff like “Milk Lizard” got my girl into diggin their crazier old stuff like 43% Burnt and Sunshine The Werewolf.

  • Scott

    I got lucky enough that my girl will go to shows with me because she likes seeing me that excited about something, and she likes the going out together to do something part. She’s not a metal fan, but she cares enough about me to go with it if I’m enjoying myself. Although I probably owe her tickets to the next Motion City Soundtrack show for putting up with it… ughhhhhh.
    Small sacrifices, my friends. Plus, nowhere does it say that I can’t just make out with her instead of listen to the terrible bands she wants to see at their shows, haha.

  • Joshie

    One way I eased my girl into the way of metal is I got her to start watching Metalocalypse with me. She thought the show was funny, and started liking Dethklok’s music as a side effect. I don’t know what the general consenus around the metal community is about Dethklok, but if you don’t like them, know that it’s easier to make a jump from Dethklok to, say, Possessed than it is from Smashing Pumpkins to Death.

  • http://www.kaaghouse.com GoatRidersHorde

    My success at turn my ex-gf to metal was done by secretly hiding metal in a sex playlist. Specifically, Manowar. Worked like a charm.

  • villanj1

    Fully agree with Emily. I got an ex-girl into Metal with the below in order:
    Lacuna Coil – Comalies
    Lullacry – Be My God
    Nightwish – Century Child
    Sentenced – Cold White Light
    In Flames – Reroute To Remain
    COB – Hatecrew Deathroll
    Dimmu Borgir – Death Cult Armageddon
    I’s all over after that. She’s a full-blown Metalhead, post-breakup, to this day. Say what you want about the quality of the albums but she was listening to radio pop so I picked the albums accordingly for the time.

  • blen genton

    i dated a girl a while back who wansn’t too big on metal at all, though she could tolerate it in small doses. she was always down if COC or something else a little more mainstream was played, but death and black metal was too much… i shouldn’t say all dm, i remember she didn’t mind death. fast forward to spring or summer that year, we went to see the halford/testament/immortal tour and she thought testament kicked ass (which they did, of course). we even got to meet eric peterson and shot the shit with him for a few minutes. “See, I told you we’d have a great time!” pretty much sums it up.

  • Sean Miller

    If your lady doesnt like metal then so what? My wife of 14 years would rather listen to Segar or Eagles whereas I would prefer Exodus or Testament. Its always a toss up for us when it comes to the tunes but more often then ot Motorhead or Overkill somehow end up in the Stereo ( I do give in from time to time) Ive even surprised her from time to time when I put in Boston or Idol without being asked! I know Ive gotten to my kids when I catch my 7 yr old daughter humming balls to the wall or run to the hills!! I just thank the Devil that my wife doesnt give a second glance when I play NIB or Whiplash!!

  • RobotScythe

    My wife isn’t a big fan of most of the metal I listen to. But she went with me to the Slayer/Manson show last year (she can’t stand Slayer. she likes Manson) and went with me to the Metal masters tour. She digs Motorhead.

    But overall it doesn’t matter. She likes plenty of stuff I can’t stand and it’s no big deal. Common musical taste shouldn’t be something to base an entire relationship on. It’s a cool thing when they overlap butnot having the same music in common isn’t detrimental at all.

  • http://metalmartyr.com Metal Martyr

    My wife is ans has always been in to Pop and I’ve always been in to metal. I complain more about her music than she does mine. When she plays Britney Spears I cringe, but when I play something like Carcass or anything like that she never complains. All in all, that’s what earbuds and shit are for.

  • PD

    @ RandyxJames: Traced in Air DEFINITELY. I guess I’m just all over Paul Masvidal’s nuts though…maybe some people don’t like it.

    I couldn’t help but laugh at the first line of the self-titledmag article.

  • Dead Eternity Mike

    To get them into metal I just show them any of the slower Sikth songs……. Like: This Light, When the Moment’s Gone, or Where do We Fall?

  • Aya

    Give a try to symphonic/gothic metal first, and add BFMV to the list.(Nearly all the girls love BFMV for some reason.)

  • elvin

    Nice vademecum but starting with ozzy it’s too risky. If you think that try a full conversion could be viable because you dig the chick really this sequence of albums could be worthy of a try.

    Any of 70′s Led Zeppelin or deep purple
    Kiss – Destroyer
    Ac/Dc Black Album
    Iron Maiden – Powerslave
    Guns Appetite For Destruction
    Soundgarden – Superunknown
    Megadeth – Youthanasia
    Alice in Chains – Dirt
    Metallica – Black Album
    Motorhead – Inferno

    From this point onward there is all the 90′ metal surely viable, that can lead to the actual stuff.

    Ok, it could take years, but you got more chanches than diving immediately in some norwegian black metal album :D

  • pooooooooo

    wow, what a dumb conversation..

  • Ken M

    EXODUS – TILL DEATH DO US PART.

  • Jay

    I’m not exactly sure but how hard is it actually for guys to find a girl who’s actually into metal? I’m one but I don’t know any other girl who is.

  • NK

    I got my girlfriend into metal in the following order:

    Dethklok
    In Flames
    Eluveitie
    Scar Symmetry
    Opeth
    some Meshuggah
    and so it continues…

  • Taephit

    Line it up with what she already listens to. Every form of music has a metal counterpart that incorporates the same underlying influences.

    Plenty of metal derrives its essence in the orcestral, operatic, punk, pop, soft rock, rap, etc.

    Pretty much everything but country has a metal counter-part. Southern hillbilly metal like pantera or COC will not work on a country-girl no matter how hard you try. (but the likelyhood you will be able to tolerate her for any length of time is questionable, so don’t worry)

    Lots of good suggestions in the comments and article like CKY and HIM (despite how much they blow, they are a decent litmus) and of course Ozzy and Manson are perfect intros.

    Her loving Slayer is the desired end result, but unless your chick already loves metal, diving straight into that would be a retarded mistake.

    However *THE BEST* way to get he into metal is to take her to Nite Clubs that play Rock music, as they will always play at least a few soft-metal and nu-metal songs through-out the night plus the classics from the 70’s & 80’s. (this fine-tunes her for the stuff you’ve got at home or in the car)

    And once she starts dancing to metal, the rest is easy!

    And the one thing that every successful nite-club player/douche knows, its ALL about getting her to dance.

    • Metal Virgin

      I’m all in..

      Let’s dance ;)

      • Taephit

        Bring lots of booze…that magically turns dancing fun somehow

  • Samantha

    I’m a girl, and I do something similar to this while introducing family and friends to metal…

    My father was an asshole about metal at first, until he heard a variety of things I listen to. When I listened to metal around him, I didn’t blast it, and he didn’t bitch. I watched Lamb Of God documentaries, and he got interested. I played Mastodon, because they aren’t just scream-your-fucking-head-off metal–they bring in other aspects of music. I confronted him saying this is who I am and the metal ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE. So he had to deal with it. the Fucker.

    My mom wasn’t really a bitch about it, but sometimes she wasn’t in the mood. She does like it, and she finds it very interesting about the bands. Go mom!

    My sister was a total asshole. Sometimes still is. She listens to shitty ghetto rap, and there still is a constant battle between us between rap and metal…she does listen to Korn, Rob Zombie, System Of A Down, Static-X and such bands. Yes, I like these too, but I’m into Lamb Of God, Mastodon, Slipknot, High On Fire, Down, Bloodsimple, Cathedral, Alice In Chains, Rammstein, Danzig, and Slayer (to name a few.) She grees with some of these, but she is still can be a total bitch about metal. Suddenly, she is interested in the new Slipknot cd, wants to burn a copy from my own. She doesn’t bitch about Alice In Chains, and that’s good (I still would like to have a debate with her of how they’re better than shitty Nirvana.) She’s warming up, and I suggest some metal when we drive in the car, but I know not to push it.

    And if any of you assholes wanna criticize a 16-year old girl, you can come argue with me on myspace. pussies. (www.myspace.com/themontyscientist)

  • Soul

    i found the best way to convert the girls ive slept with who were not metal heads
    metal music playing in the backround during sex
    each girls ive slept with has heard full cds of slayer, pantera, lamb of god, devil driver
    and now most of them are coming with me to see Lamb of God and Devil Driver when they come to Australia
    my friends have had the same sort of outcome
    so yeah thats my way