Vince and I were this close to going to see the latest incarnation of Anthrax play last night at some Red Bull snowboarding event. It didn’t quite work out, and knowing now that I would have been freezing my nuts off watching the band play in the coldest fucking weather imaginable, I can’t say I’m exactly filled with regret.

Luckily, Blabbermouth has some video footage of the event – including a performance of “Bring the Noise” with Public Enemy’s Chuck D – so I can at least get a sense of what we missed. The band seems lively enough and this Dan Nelson fellow seems fit for the job, so really, I just have one question: what the fuck is going on with Rob Caggiano?

-AR

I had the displeasure of seeing Dope live once (don’t ask). They were playing at Don Hill’s, a club here in NYC that holds about 300 people, and, to my surprise, they actually managed to pack the place pretty full. So after the band before them concluded their set, Dope kept the crowd waiting for 45 minutes while their roadies set up elaborate stage dressing fit for an arena show: extra platforms and a new PA system and lighting rig (I guess the house systems weren’t good enough for the band) and giant wooden backdrops and a chain link fence (!) and who the fuck knows what else. This kind of shit really isn’t necessary for a small club gig, but it might have been forgivable had the band come out and rocked the kids’ faces off; instead, they came out and played for… 45 minutes. To repeat: the band played for as long as they kept the crowd waiting for them to play. In hindsight, it seems clear that all the rigmarole was really because without the fancy lights and props, the band knew they didn’t have much to offer.

I’m telling you this story because Dope will be opening for Black Label Society and Sevendust on their upcoming tour, which still strikes me as an odd package – that Zakk Wylde, who once proclaimed “Fred Durst can eat a dick” on his band’s DVD, would share a stage with not one but two nu-metal bands just seems weird.

Weirder still: Wylde has now recorded a track with Dope. Let me type that again, lest you think your eyes are failing you: DOPE HAVE A SONG ON THEIR NEW ALBUM WITH ZAKK WYLDE ON GUITAR.

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When this video came out I thought it was the absolute shit. Actually I still think it’s the shit, and was reminded of this fact when it came on the radio in a cab on my recent jaunt to the Dominican Republic with metalgf. I mean, those mountain guitar-hero shots of Richie Sambora (hit 3:45 for the guitar solo) — fucking epic! Second only to Slash’s epic solo in the “November Rain” vid, natch. But what I love about videos like this is that they give the appearance that bands record all at once in a room together with their vocalist, an MTV-fostered notion I fully bought until some time in college when I got into a real recording studio and realized how it was done. Also, say what you will about Richie Sambora but the dude’s guitar licks have always been fucking tasty, on display here with his little “fills” between Jon Bon’s lines in the verses. Also, the dude shtupped Heather Locklear and Denise Richards. Respect.

-VN

Fred Durst’s first foray into the world of feature film making, The Education of Charlie Banks, played the Tribeca Film Festival here in NY to surprisingly strong reviews, but never got a theatrical (or even straight to DVD or cable) release. After The Longshots, Durst’s follow-up, opened to bad reviews and worse box office numbers this past summer, I kind of assumed Banks would never get a theatrical release. Looks like I was wrong: Anchor Bay will release the movie in theaters on March 27.

I know that certain long time readers think I rag on Durst too much, so I’m not gonna say anything about this. The poster is above, and if you’re interested, the trailer is after the jump. Enjoy. Or don’t. Whatever.

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Congrats to groverXIII, the winner of last week’s funny photo caption contest. Grover will receive a CD copy of the Underworld Soundtrack and an Underworld poster for coming up with the following caption to the photo at the right:

The Drunken Knights of Lord Heineken celebrate another successful day of rape and pillaging.

Not that funny, we know, but we weren’t given a whole lot to work with. This week we hope you all can do better, ’cause we’ve got a recockulous God Forbid prize package to give away! ONE grand prize winner will receive an autographed copy of the band’s genre-pushing new album Earthsblood, an Earthsblood t-shirt, a poster, and a Beneath The Scars of Glory and Progression DVD. TEN runners-up will also be chosen to receive a signed copy of Earthsblood. With 11 total prizes, your odds of winning something are pretty good… so get crackin’! You know the deal. Photo below. A bit more abstract than our usual fair, so make ‘em good.

The members of Skeletonwitch were so jealous that Vince and I got to host our own edition of “The Fix,” Metal Injection’s video podcast, that they called the MI dudes up and got all “Let us do one!” And the MI dudes did, indeed, let them do one. Which you can now watch below. The Skeletonwitch dudes choose their favorite metal videos and, um, look all grizzly n’ metal n’ shit.

You can also download (and subscribe to!) this podcast on iTunes. And Metal Injection have some sweet new live footage of Skeletonwitch, too. So, there ya go. Get yer fix.

-AR

That’s the realization I had on Tuesday night at the Mercury Lounge watching Northern Ireland’s The Answer rock the house. The kind of music The Answer peddle — retrofried, bluesy, Southern hard rock reminiscent of AC/DC, Led Zep, and even early ’00s rocksters Silvertide — gets my blood pumping and gives me a giant stiffy instantly. There’s just something about lots of D, A, C and G chords that sounds fucking great together, no matter how many times you’ve heard it before and in how many different permutations. Especially when played on a Les Paul through a Marshall amp — ya know, the kind with actual real overdriven tubes, not the fake, washy digital kind. Makes me feel like I can stay out all night long drinking, doing lines and fucking bitches because it’s rock and fucking roll, dude!!! Indeed, The Answer are a tight package that rock you just the way you want to be rocked, with plenty of bravado but little pretense.

Check out the band’s brand new video for “On and On” below, which comes from their new full-length Everyday Demons (The End). I haven’t heard the full record yet, but if their recent EP Never Too Late is any indication, it’ll be as slammin’ as the band’s live set.

-VN

Since the members of Graf Orlock are obsessed with action movies, it was a brilliant idea on the part of The Deciblog (or the band’s publicist perhaps?) to have GO’s Justin Smith review action films. This week Smith ponders Taken, a Liam Neeson/Luc Besson thriller which opened in the States this past weekend and the rest of the world over the course of 2008.

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Knife The Glitter isn’t afraid to reference the cinematic nadir of popstar Mariah Carey’s career. Nor are these noisy rockers afraid of opening for Dillinger Escape Plan for three “cozy” East Coast dates beginning tonight in Philly. Presumably, it ain’t afraid of no ghost neither.

The as-yet unsigned band – apparently still without a singer – have a few promising instrumental demos up on its MySpace page. You can also listen to some of the more metalcore-ish tracks the band did with a former vocalist at its Purevolume page. So in case you were thinking about showing up for these DEP gigs late, think again, fucker.

-GS

[Gary Suarez pooched the screw. He also writes for Brainwashed and rarely manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No.]

I haven’t read an issue of Metal Hammer since 2006, when they did that awesome Kerry King bloodpack cover for the 20th anniversary of Reign in Blood. It’s not that I don’t like Metal Hammer – it’s just that there’s no American version, and, honestly, it’s kinda costly to buy imported magazines. But my point is this: I’m not really in any position to talk about the state of Metal Hammer as a whole. I can’t tell you that’s it great or that it sucks, because it’s been three years since I purchased an issue.

I mention this because the magazine’s German edition just did a reader’s poll to determine the best death metal songs of all time, and I find the list kinda weird. I love Arch Enemy and think “We Will Rise” is about as good a melodeath anthem as we’ve had thus far in the 21st century, but is it better than songs by Carcass, At the Gates, or Opeth? What am I to make of a list that puts Job for a Cowboy and All Shall Perish above Suffocation?

See the complete list (along with the voting percentages) after the jump. Of course it’s entirely possible that some douche bags just kept voting over and over, thereby tipping the scales, but, still, I thought it was worth having a good ol’ fashioned debate over.

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As you may have read on Blabbermouth by now, Trey Azagthoth has posted a lengthy State of the Metal address on his MySpace page. It’s long and it’s a lot to digest, but I’ve posted the entire thing after the jump. Given Azagthoth’s already-secure place in metal history, I think it’s worth pondering what he has to say seriously (As opposed to just saying “Azagthoth rules!” or “Morbid Angel is for fags!” or whatever other pithy statements to which the peanut gallery might resort). Okay, here we go:

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Following Disturbed lead-crooner David Draiman’s much-publicized split with his fiancee a few months back, everyone’s favorite yeshiva boocher revealed in an interview with Altitude that he’s playing the dating game, albeit in a cautious capacity. In a prior interview with Finland’s MusiikkiTV shortly after the split, Draiman revealed that his now-former fiancee’s heritage — half German and half Persian — had become what he called “a huge source of contention in my family.” For those who aren’t privvy to our near-daily assault of Jewicisms on MetalSucks, Draiman comes from an Orthodox Jewish background and has some 200 relatives living in Israel, including his brother and grandmother.

Might Draiman now be on the prowl for a hot, young Jewess? Seems he’s being a bit more selective this time around; “I went out in Chicago. Got a couple of number, went on a couple dates. They didn’t last through dinner,” says Draiman in the below interview Altitude. Ouch! D-man’s playing hard to get. If I were the mother of a Jewish girl in the Chicago area I’d be awfully mindful of who my daughter hangs around with, lest Draiman inject her with “The Sickness.” Oooo ahh ahh ahh ahh.

-VN

[Thanks: Warren U.]

Lots of you have been emailing us to tell us that Wrath has leaked. Thanks for the memo, but we’ve had it for weeks, you sillies! In any case, by now those with enough motivation and brianpower to seek out the leaked album have had a chance to listen to and digest the latest from Lamb of God, undoubtedly one of the biggest (and best, IMO) modern metal bands of the ’00s. So what do you think? How does it stack against prior LoG releases? Vote below, and tell us why in the comments. Then check out the very awesome “Escape the Plague” contest Lamb of God is running in conjunction with the new album release.

n

Legendary dronesters Sunn o))) and record label Southern Lord share not just a penchant for original, outside-the-box thinking but a man by the name of Greg Anderson, who splits his time between playing guitar for the former and running all operations of the latter. In the interest of full disclosure I’m not really much of a fan of either the band or the label for no other reason than it’s just not my thing, but I have the utmost respect for the legacy of Sunn o))) and the business acumen, foresight and individuality of Southern Lord and all the bands thereon. I was recently given an opportunity to email a few questions to Mr. Anderson himself, and the man was so kind as to respond with his thoughts on the roles the band and label play in the metal community, his thoughts on the metal community at large, and what’s in store for both Sunn o))) and Southern Lord in 2009. Our chat transcript, after the jump.

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When I was a teenager I used to yell at Mama Neilstein for fading my black t-shirts when she washed them. No joke. If only I’d had Atmosopheric Black Metal Kitchen‘s “Heavy Metal Laundry Tips” (written by Scott Maxwell) to show her then, a whole lot of teenage-induced familial strife could’ve been avoided.

You should really read the entire excellently-worded post, but here’s the nitty-gritty:

… for you, the truly elite metalheads, I am here to bestow the darkest secrets of Laundromancy upon thee. I have consulted tomes of ancient wisdom (i.e., I asked my mom) in preparing this guide. May it serve you well… in darkness:

1) WOOLITE IST KRIEG. Your precious metal shirts are meant to be handwashed, so as to preserve the ink prints and the integrity of the fabric. Woolite is expensive, but it is an investment in your metal cred. In recent years, WOOLITE DARK has been introduced, formulated for dark clothes exclusively. USE IT! Immortal would endorse no less.

2) COLD WASH ONLY. Allow your clothes to soak in waters as cold as the rivers of Blashyrkh itself, without agitation. HAND WASH, or use the “hand washables” cycle on your washing machine. Your precious metal shirts get enough violent agitation when you’re wearing them in the mosh pit.

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1. The box office success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Doesn’t it seem like this movie should just be some kind of Darwinian trick – like anyone who buys a ticket is automatically deemed too stupid to live and is consequently immediately shot in the head?
2. The virus-like spreading of the Valley Girl accent to women all across America. This is why the terrorists hate us. These women’s tubes should be involuntarily tied (with no anesthesia) to prevent the furthering of their wretched species.
3. Fucktards who think it’s okay to hold the fucking elevator fucking door and have a conversation with a friend when there are other people on the elevator who presumably want to get wherever they’re going. I think I should be allowed to kill their families while they watch.
4. This asshole. His point is…?
5. Anyone not loving Death. ‘Nuff said.
   

-AR

An anonymous source has confirmed to MetalSucks that legendary magazines Metal Maniacs and Metal Edge — both published by Zenbu Media — have closed their doors for good. At this time we can’t report whether either magazine will print any final issues or whether Zenbu itself is in trouble, but we can confirm that the end is nigh for these once mighty metal publications.

Any time hard luck falls upon anyone in the metal community it’s a tough pill to swallow, but Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs are fucking institutions and this news will undoubtedly send shockwaves throughout the metal world. Though these once mighty publications may not have carried the same weight in recent years that they once did, their demise delivers a shocking blow in one fell swoop to two industries already in peril, publishing and music. To say the absolute least, this is the end of an era.

Of the many implications running through my brain — not the least of which are the awesome people at both publications who are suddenly jobless — I keep coming back to two:

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Hats off to MetalSucks Maniacs Tony Cordone, John Douglass, Joe Pitz, Ben Russo and Carrick McClane. They each correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to to theband Guttural Secrete, and each win an autographed New York Dolls One Day it Will Please Us to Remember Even This CD booklet. And, hey, don’t be sad if you really wanted that booklet and didn’t win: we’re gonna have lots more to give away in the coming weeks.

But this week, the fine ladies and gentlemen at Roadrunner Records have bestowed upon us five copies of Dragonforce’s most excellent 2008 release, Ultra Beatdown, to give away. This album is metal’s answer to a crazy friggin’ sugar rush, and if you don’t already own a copy, here’s your chance.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

Good luck, everyone…

-AR

In the summer of 2006, before MetalSucks was even a twinkle in our young, stoned eyes, Axl and I headed across the pond to England’s famous Download Festival at Castle Donington to get our metal on. Our minds were literally blown; neither of us had ever been to an event of such magnitude and we were literally shocked at the seemingly endless and welcoming metal community in Europe. In 2007 and 2008 we talked of going to other European festival mainstays like Wacken and Hellfest, and though we never made it back we were continually jealous of the rich European metal festival scene.

Americans have reason to be jealous of their European forefathers no more; a glut of both indoor and outdoor festivals have hit the American circuit in the past few of years, and in 2009 even more promoters are jumping on the bandwagon with a glut of killer destination metal festivals already lined up.

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