There were a fuck load of entries for last week’s funny photo caption contest. That’s ’cause the prizes are so damn awesome; 1 grand prize winner gets a signed copy of God Forbid’s new record Earthsblood, a Beneath the Scars of Glory and Progression DVD, a t-shirt and a poster. And 10 runners-up win a signed copy of Earthsblood! We’re not gonna waste your time with the 10 runner-up entries (though these people will be contacted shortly), but here’s the grand prize winning caption to the photo at right (side note: anyone who thought this vegetable is celery is a fucking moron and needs eat somewhere other than Taco Bell occasionally.):

Mike: “After seeing the looks on Manowar’s faces, the doomed roadie realized that they had asked him for “noble stallions,” not “noble scallions.”

This week we’re giving away 3 copies of the new CD El Rojo from The Bakerton Group, aka the dudes from Clutch sans vocals. The CD comes out next Tuesday, February 17th. Alls ya gotta do to win a free one is come up with a caption to the photo below that makes us laugh. Thanks to Daniel for sending in this week’s photo.

Cosmo Lee over at Invisible Oranges is on a Justin K. Broadrick kick this week. Lee says he doesn’t especially care for Broadrick’s more recent output, even if he loves the Broadrick of yore; I couldn’t disagree more, but, hey, I understand that Jesu ain’t for everyone.

In all honestly, Broadrick has been kind of untouchable in my mind. I’ve never heard him do anything I didn’t think was awesome – at least, not until now.

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We regret to inform those who entered our contest to win tickets to the Scion Rock Fest that those who win will still not be guaranteed entry. You’ll still have to get there early and wait on line like everyone else. However, since we’re one of the only places left where you can even get tickets, we still think it’s a pretty sweet deal. Sorry about the mixup! Winners will be chosen tonight and notified tomorrow, so enter now!

When the excellent line-up for this year’s Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival was announced last month, we wondered: who would be left for Ozzfest? It’s not like there’s ever gonna be a shortage of excellent bands to play the tour, but in terms of “namier” acts that were actually going to be touring, it seemed as though most of them had made other plans.

Well, now we have an answer: there isn’t gonna be an Ozzfest in ’09.

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Golly, it sure pays to visit Metalsucks regularly – even for a blogtributor like me! This morning, while perusing the “Upcoming Releases” list in the right-hand navigation, I happened upon the following series of words, which when read in the proper order present the following “Holy Shit”-worthy message:

March 23, 2009: Therapy? – Crooked Timber (Global)

Then I jizzed in my pants.

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Guitar World, the favorite magazine of six string dweebs everywhere, has video of Mastodon in the studio recording their forthcoming Crack the Skye, and what struck me most about the footage is this: how different Brent Hinds seems from the crazy dude of interviews past. Is this really the same guy who did his entire part on the band’s The Workhorse Chronicles DVD from inside a shower? I guess he learned his lesson from all the drunken drama of the past few years.

I was kind of looking forward to Hinds becoming his generation’s Ozzy Osbourne – in the “Hahaha he peed on the Alamo while wearing a dress” kinda way, not in the “Someone please just off this fucker already” kinda way – but I guess I can settle for Brent being happy and healthy instead.

-AR

Preface: this is purely speculation and we do not have confirmation that the music below is, in fact, a new Mastodon track!

That said, it would certainly appear that the background music in the trailer for the forthcoming video game Splatterhouse is new Mastodon music. Let’s look at the evidence:

1) In a preview piece about the game, IGN reports that “The soundtrack is all Mastodon all the time. In fact, Rick will be wearing a Mastodon t-shirt before hulking up and going all crazy-like.” Furthermore, Gamespot.com confirms that “US heavy metal band Mastodon has also been brought in to provide audio work for Splatterhouse.”

2) Members of Mastodon were signing autographs at the Splatterhouse booth at the New York Comic-Con last week.

3) It sounds like Mastodon.

Take a look at the video game trailer, featuring at least a good solid minute of audio, after the jump:

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Few bands in modern metal are as exciting as Chimaira. That’s because few bands constantly undergo such a dramatic and undeniable evolutions from album to album – and do so with a bare minimum of line-up changes. From their 2000 self-released debut, This Present Darkness, right up to 2007′s Resurrection, Chimaira have never made the same album twice. Elements of thrash, death, groove, black, and even prog metal and punk abound, and, ultimately, the only thing you ever know for sure about a new Chimaira album is this: it’s gonna be heavy as a motherfucker, and just as catchy.

As the band – which includes guitarists Rob Arnold and Matt DeVries, bassist Jim LaMarca, drummer Andols Herrick, and keyboardist/sampler Chris Spicuzza – anticipates the April 21 release of their sixth album, The Infection, we were lucky enough to snag an exclusive e-mail interview with vocalist Mark Hunter. After the jump, read Mark’s thoughts on the group’s latest offering, the ongoing metamorphosis of their sound, reuniting with longtime producer Ben Schigel, the internet as a marketing tool, the state of his pure hatred, and more.

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