REMEMBER WHEN CHRIS CORNELL WASN’T A LAUGHINGSTOCK?
Yeah, me too. That was pretty cool. Well, anyway… here’s a clip of Soundgarden performing “Outshined” live in 1991.
-VN
Archive for February, 2009
WE CALLED IT: WES BORLAND RE-JOINS LIMP SUCKIT
Fuck Wes Borland, and fuck everyone who supported this lying sack of shit.
METALSUCKS SPONSORING BLACKENDFEST, FEATURING MAYHEM
Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 at 6:00pm by MetalSucks
MetalSucks is pleased to announce our sponsorship on what is without a doubt the darkest, bleakest, blackest lineup hitting North America this Spring — BLACKENEDFEST! The lineup is headlined by none other than the kings of Norwegian black metal, suicide and murder — Mayhem — and features Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered in support. That’s a fucking br00tal lineup if you ask us. Tickets go on sale this Friday, February 13th — an appropriate date — so take a look at the full list of tour dates (with buy links) after the jump.*
DAVID AFTER DENTIST, GONE METAL
By now you’ve probably seen the viral YouTube clip “David After Dentist,” now approaching 8 million views, in which a drugged up 7-year old says some seriously hilarious shit after being put under at the dentist’s office. A slew of remixes have since hit the webernets including this one [sent in my metalgf] set to an In Flames jam. ‘Cause nothing is more metal than a drugged up 7-year old… rocking out to In Flames.
-VN
TWITTER-NATION! THE METAL EDITION
Is Twitter the new Facebook (if Facebook was, in fact, the new MySpace)? MetalSucks isn’t gonna wait to find out, and has now officially joined 2008 by signing up for Twitter (follow us!). In case you’re over the age of 20 and not yet hip to Twitter, Twitter is a social networking site that’s basically just the “status update” section of Facebook with everything else stripped away. Users can update their profiles with short messages and links with quick updates about what they’re currently doing (140 characters or less), from a web interface or from their mobile phone. Musicians have begun dabbling in the world of Twitter, and, naturally, this provides loads of entertainment for us.
Aside from the obvious humor inherent in a bunch of br00tal metal dudes doing something that’s called a “Tweet,” some notable metal musicians are already ensconced in the world of Twitter. And what’s cool about it is that you know, at least until marketing department heads become hip to it, that you’re getting a direct link to the actual person. When Vernon Reid Tweets about the guy that designed his custom pedalboard, you know it’s him. When Fred Durst Tweets about a tattoo of Frankenstein he’s getting… uh, you know it’s him, for better or worse. Let’s look at what some notable quotables in the metal world are saying on Twitter:
SUM FORTY WHA?
MetalSucks Maniac Matt Fields sent us the below clip this morning, bringing up all sorts of repressed demons I’d been trying to forget for years. I can’t say I’m at all surprised that Tommy Lee agreed to play with these douche chills – after all, Lee is an even bigger whore than Pamela Anderson – but I gotta ask: Why, Halford, why?!?!
-AR
GUITAR HERO: METALLICA IS GONNA BE REALLY, REALLY HARD
I haven’t touched any edition of Guitar Hero in ages, but this clip of some people playing along with Slayer’s “War Ensemble” is enough to get me juiced again – in fact, I’m almost sad that there’ll never be a Guitar Hero: Slayer. Still, this looks like a fun way to pass a lazy, strung-out afternoon with some of the MS Mansion monkeys…
-AR
[via The Deciblog]
BLUT AUS NORD PROVE THEY’RE THE GREATEST FRENCHMEN SINCE HENRY IV ON MEMORIA VETUSTA II
Blut aus Nord’s 2003 post-black metal touchstone – The Work Which Transforms God – was a lot like a David Lynch movie: I wanted to like it more than I actually did. Taken on a song by song basis, the album is striking (even if being in the right mood is still necessary). But as a whole, the album is indigestible, a jagged, abstract chunk of atonal Godflesh-via-Burzum avant-garde metal. I respected the hell out of it, but when pressed, I couldn’t say when I listened to it. And even though I’ve maligned clean singing when unnecessary (hell, I’ve done it numerous times on this very website), TWWTG was a little too rough even for my liking. The French kvltists’ latest, Memoria Vetusta II: Dialogue with the Stars, seems to have taken my concerns to heart, eschewing the slow industrial trudge of their last few records and indulging in some melody and atmosphere, focusing less on being obscure. It’s to The Work Which Transforms God‘s difficult credit that Memoria Vetusta II: Dialogue with the Stars can be seen as a lightening up despite being a broad, inventive, and fucking brilliant black metal record that makes all the right moves, pushes all the right envelopes, and never tries to hard. Easily an early contender for black metal record of the year, the album is another chapter in the band’s mission to redefine black metal, even if doing it by easier-to-swallow means.
COURTNEY LOVE’S FACE MAKES BABIES CRY
The Huffington Post is reporting that Courtney Love and The Wrestler star Mickey Rourke are secretly dating. I find that kinda funny, given that The Wrestler features a line about what a pussy Kurt Cobain was, and Rourke is a known accomplice of Axl Rose, who famously feuded with Love and Cobain back in the day.
But there’s nothing funny about the way Courtney Love’s face looks.
SCALE THE SUMMIT LEAP WAY OVER DESERT CANYONS ON PROSTHETIC DEBUT
Scale The Summit are an instrumental metal band. While that very fact might cause lots of you to excitedly skip to the next paragraph where I actually talk about the music, it will likely send just as many running to the hills. And that’s perfectly cool, because the type of heady, proggy music Scale The Summit peddle isn’t likely to appeal to a lot of folks anyway, regardless of whether or not there’s some dude screaming/growling/singing on top of it. This is the kind of band that musicians are gonna cream their pants over and most others will shrug in overwhelming “meh”-itude. But the fact of the matter is that Scale the Summit are immensely talented musicians and composers, and they just don’t feel like letting those pesky things called “lyrics” get in the way of enjoying what matters most, the music. If bands like Intronaut, Russian Circles and Cynic tickle your metal bone(r), Scale the Summit’s Prosthetic Records debut Carving Desert Canyons is likely to do the same.
A KNOT OF NOT A LOT OF DIR EN GREY
Of the dozen or so Japan-based acts that have attempted to crack the English-speaking market, Dir En Grey is fortunate to have an edge in their singularity; no band sounds like them in America or elsewhere. Sure, we can trace the roots of their spare, low-register guitar parts to Korn; the rabid, multi-voiced, and diminutive singer to Cradle of Filth; the addictive melodies to uh Duran Duran; and the caustic imagery to Marilyn Manson and Japanese visual hyper-rock. But like a Hayao Miyazaki or Pretz, Dir En Grey is exotic but not exclusionary, foreign but not impenetrable. Different but the same. And awesome!
COMPLETELY UNREADABLE BAND LOGO OF THE WEEK, BROUGHT TO YOU BY ROADRUNNER RECORDS – WIN A COPY OF DRAGONFORCE’S ULTRA BEATDOWN
I am incredibly proud of MetalSucks Maniacs Stephanie Deal, Alex Carter, Jonny Giles and Scott Duchateau, and severly disappointed in the rest of you; these four readers and these four readers only correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Dyscrasia, and thus each win a copy of DragonForce’s ode to ADHD, Ultra Beatdown.
But I had five copies to give away last week and only four winners, so what to do, what do? We’ll give away the fifth copy this week, and I’m using a fairly easy logo, ’cause clearly, y’all can’t rise to a challenge.
All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select a winner from everyone who gets it right (assuming more than one person gets it right this time), and announce his or her name next week.
C’mon, guys. Make me proud this week…
-AR
WIN TICKETS TO THE SCION ROCK FEST IN ATLANTA! (RE-POST)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 at 4:02pm by MetalSucks
PLEASE NOTE: THE DEADLINE FOR CONTEST ENTRY IS NOW THIS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12TH!
As promised, MetalSucks has 10 pairs of tickets to give away for the cumgasm inducing Scion Rock Fest set to take place on February 28th at The Masquerade in Atlanta. Axl and Vince will be partying down in Atlanta, and this is your chance to join in on the fun. As usual, we prefer to leave the selection of the winners up to skill and not to fate, so here’s what you’ve got to do to win: tell us which of the bands on the bill you’d be most excited to see and why. In case you need a refresher, you can take a look at the full list of confirmed bands after the jump or squint at the pint-sized version of the official poster at right.
Remember, this is MetalSucks: in other words, the funnier/wittier/crazier your entry is, the better the chance that we’ll like it. Email all entries to news AT metalsucks DOT net with the subject “SCION ROCK FEST,” and be sure to include your full name and address. Winners will be announced and contacted on Friday, February 13th and will receive their tickets in the mail shortly thereafter. While tickets available to the general public do not guarantee entry, all MetalSucks winners will be guaranteed entry via a list at the door (details TBD). We’ve just been informed that even contest winners are not guaranteed entry, so still make sure you get there early!! Plus, from what we hear, entries at the official Scion Rock Fest website are now closed, so this is your only chance to get ‘em.
And the confirmed bands so far are…
CHIMAIRA SPREAD THE INFECTION
I don’t know why, but every time I hear a new Chimaira song, I’m consistently surprised by how heavy it is. I mean, the band has said they don’t wanna make radio-friendly drivel, the band has no history of making radio-friendly drivel, and their shit is consistently heavy as fuck. Yet, somehow, it’s as though my subconscious just won’t let me accept the fact that these dudes aren’t full of shit, and when they say they don’t wanna make auto-tuned good cop/bad cop crap they mean it.
So: I don’t know how I missed it, but Chimaira have started a new viral website, spread-the-infection.com, to promote their forthcoming new album, entitled – duh – The Infection. And the site has at least one readily available thirty second clip of new music right now. And, oh yeah – it’s fucking Brutal with a capital “B.”
CHRIS CORNELL IS SCARING ME… YET I CAN’T LOOK AWAY!
By now, y’all are more than aware that Chris Cornell has been recording with hip-hop producer Timbaland. The consensus around the blogosphere has been that this is going to be a fiery trainwreck of Mariah Carey Glitter proportions. Now, throwing fuel on the burning upholstery, Cornell solo concerts to promote Scream (as in, what you’ll probably do when you eventually hear this album) have been announced. I know I should just go hide in my secret underground bunker with my special lady and repopulate society until this whole thing blows over – but I think I actually want to see this disaster LIVE!
THE ONLY THING THE OSBOURNES NEED TO RELOAD IS THE GUN THEY USE TO KILL THEMSELVES
How bad does Osbournes Reloaded, the new Ozzy n’ family variety show, look? So bad that I’m considering burning my copies of Blizzard of Ozz and No More Tears. So bad that it makes Zakk Wylde look like a bastion of artistic integrity. So bad that I’d rather listen to St. Anger on repeat for 24 hours than watch this shit. So bad that the creators of Rock of Love should win Peabody Awards. So bad that Gene Simmons is already trying to figure out a way to rip it off. So bad that your grandmother just died in the shower and it’s gonna be a few days before anyone finds the body.
-AR
[via Metal Injection]
BLOGRONAUT: INTRONAUT BATTLE-TESTED GIBSON GUITAR FOR SALE!
Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 at 1:00pm by Sacha Dunable
I greet you Metalsucks readers this week with a somewhat melancholy blog entry, as I am here to announce the sale of one of my favorite guitars ever. I bought this Gibson L6-S a little more than a year ago and pretty much fell in love with it. It has an all maple body and neck, which means a brighter attack than the usual mahogany that most Gibsons have. This is also one of the most comfortable guitars I’ve ever played. This thing has been my main guitar since I bought it, meaning it’s been played at probably a hundred Intronaut shows, and was the guitar used on our last record.
Click to read more…
NOW THAT AWFUL DOPE/ZAKK WYLDE COLLABORATION HAS AN AWFUL VIDEO
Last week, we told you about Zakk Wylde’s contribution to “Addiction,” an awful new song by the awful band Dope. The song now has a music video, which was directed by Kevin Custer and MetalSucks Maniac hater Dale “Happy-Go-Lucky Sunshine Fun Time” Resteghini.
Here are things about the video that I find really, really fucking weak:
- Edsel Dope is in it.
- Virus is in it.
- The song.
- That uninformed viewers may come under the impression that Virus is playing Zakk Wylde’s part.
- How the members of Dope now dress like the members of Black Label Society instead of the members of Marilyn Manson or, more shockingly, themselves.
- That Edsel Dope is actually wearing a Black Label Society jacket.
Here are things about the video that I like:
- Big Fake Titties.
- Big Fake Titties actually gets a costume change.
- That watching it will steal less than three minutes of your life away.
The video itself can be viewed after the jump. It’s not really safe for work, and definitely not safe for human ears, so… consider yourself warned.
SOME KIND OF MACHINE HEAD
In a statement, Machine Head main man Robb Flynn has revealed that he and Machine Head bassist Adam Duce have entered couples’ therapy.
MORNING MAGRUDERGRINDAGE
If you woke up on the really, really, way wrong side of the bed today (as I did), here’s something that’ll make you feel even better than Irishing up your coffee: Magrudergrind have posted two new tracks, “Lyrical Ammunition for Scene Warfare” and “Excommunicated,” on their MySpace page. The first song, especially, will make you wanna club a baby seal to death with your dick. I mean that as a compliment.
The tracks will appear on the band’s self-titled album, which Willowtip will release this summer. I have no friggin’ clue what’s going on in that cover art, but I’m diggin’ it.
-AR
