I haven’t yet had a chance to fully digest Obscura’s Cosmogenesis, but based on my brief listen I 100% endorse Satan Rosenbloom’s rave 4.5 out of 5 horns review of the latest from these German tech-death masters. Just look at their new video for the song “Anticosmic Overload.” It’s completely about the shred-factor, showing off the chops about which Reb. Rosenbloom waxes ecstatic: “To follow the workout metaphor, Obscura are like one of those dudes with -5% body fat that can go top speed on the elliptical on level 20 for an hour straight, then do 1000 crunches in five minutes and bench press an elephant all without breaking a sweat.” No fancy CGI effects or shaky cameras here; it’s all “Yo, look at us play, motherfuckers!” with plenty of bass pedal and fretboard zooms, birds-eye drum cams and, best of all, uber-close shots of fleet-fingered 6-string fretless bassist Jeroen Paul Thesseling.

Aspiring death metallers, prepare to feel impish.

-VN

Well, we’ve been hyping it for months, and now the time has finally arrived: God Forbid’s latest opus, Earthsblood, is streaming in its entirety on their MySpace page right now.

There really isn’t much left to say right at this point. We think the album is awesome; Vince will post a full review soon going into greater detail. So for now, just go check out the album for yourself, and then come back here to discuss.

-AR

So yeah, we all sat around last nite in the family room of the MS Mansion and chuckled incessantly as our infamous MS Monkeys instinctively knew to fling their feces at the wall onto which we were projecting the Grammy Awards broadcast (in between games of Guitar Hero)…lucky for us, 1) it’s only a wall and 2) we have the aforementioned monkeys to clean up their own poop.

In any case, a few things happened on the show which seemed vaguely noteworthy:

– Bruce Springsteen won Best Rock Song for “Girls in Their Summer Clothes”. We didn’t realize the Boss was still makin de hitz, but obviously fully endorse girls and their summer clothes (or lack thereof).

– Coldplay won for Best Rock Album. Ugh.

– Radiohead won Best Alternative Music Album for their excellent In Rainbows. We cheered, but then became confused because we thought “alternative music” and that term itself died in the late 90s. In between beer bongs, Sammy O’Hagar predicted that in the next couple years, the Grammies would change that particular award title to Best Indie Music Album. We agreed, and also found it funny that Pitchfork didn’t mention anything about “metal” or “hard rock” in their Grammy round-up. Pussies.

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One thing of which I am convinced: Hatebreed doesn’t need two guitar players. Seriously: besides like twenty seconds of “I Will be Heard,” is there even a Hatebreed song with two guitar parts? I saw the band several times between 2002 and 2005, when Sean Martin – he’s the giant, skin head looking motherfucker, FYI – was the sole six stringer in the group, and they sounded pretty much identical to pre-’02 and post-’05, when they had a second axeman.

I mention this because Sean Martin and the band have apparently parted ways. From a statement from Martin:

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Methinx even Mortiis itself would likely crack a lil smile at some point during this tune…any of your hearts too dark for a bit o’sunshine?

FISHBONE – “Everyday Sunshine”, from The Reality of My Surroundings

-KW

No, silly — I’m not talking about a seminal musician or some legendary band (although in a way, I am); me’s mentioning the almighty Spinal Tap as a reference to how humor so accurately fits into this world of music criticism within which we play. It’s often hard for the most serious artists among us to remember that it can all be pretty fucking laughable, and so here’s a couple reminderz for ya (after the, y’know, jump):

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“There’s enough Brazilian power metal bands to go around for more than one day?” I hear you asking. But of course there are, and we’ve got an entire wing of our talented MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys who dedicate their lives solely to weeding out the best of the best. But today our special primate friends can take the rest of the day off to go home and enjoy bananas of the highest caliber, for MS Maniac Anthony has sent us a message on MySpace to let us know about Hibria, a fine Brazilian power metal export indeed. No Dragonforce-style wankery here (like ‘em or not), just 100% unadulterated kick-assery. Their latest album is called The Skull Collectors and features gems with names like “Tiger Punch,” “Steel Lord of Wheels,” and “Millennium Quest,” all of which are streaming on their MySpace page. Because power metal bands can always be judged by a) the quality of their song titles, b) the cheese-factor of their band photo, that’s really all you should need to know to go give them a listen. Plus, the singer is wearing his own band t-shirt so you know they HAVE to be good. Raise those fists high in the air and grab the invisible oranges if ya got ‘em!

-VN

• FORMER MEMBER OF GN’R NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DELIVERS HIS REACTION TO CHINESE DEMOCRACY TO A MIRROR: “Yes, I listened to it on a long drive to Phoenix, Arizona,” ex-GN’R rhythm guitarist Gilby ‘I Swear I’m Not Izzy’ Clarke allegedly told “a fan” (actually his reflection). “But there was [sic] too many slow-to-midtempo songs on it for my taste and some of the solos are a little overdone; they don’t match the song.” When the “fan” flattered Clarke by saying the album’s solos would have been vastly superior had Clarke played them, he chuckled modestly: “You’re too kind. Too kind.”
• CLINT LOWERY SAYS DARK NEW DAY’S FUTURE “DOESN’T LOOK GOOD.” Also: water is wet.
• MEMBERS OF SHADOWS FALL AND FATES WARNING JOIN FORCES IN 80′S METAL COVER BAND NAMED AFTER THE “BAD” DOJO IN THE KARATE KID: Still less fucktarded than being named after the dude from The Neverending Story.

-AR

Iron Maiden bassist/mastermind Steve Harris has brought his daughter to the slaughter; the young and fairly foxy Lauren Harris, who has been opening for dad on much of their “Somewhere Back in Time World Tour,” appears in a nude shoot in the UK’s FHM Magazine. The photos ain’t bad but they also ain’t full-frontal, so for the Maiden superfreaks who just want to get as close to their heroes as possible I recommend skipping straight to the nipple-slip pic we published last year. If only her music were quite this alluring.

-VN

We loved Neuraxis’ 2008 release, The Thin Line Between, so much that the opportunity to have the band do an exclusive tour blog for MetalSucks was too good an opportunity to pass up. Below, check out vocalist Alexandre Leblanc’s entry; you can read guitarist Rob Milley’s entry here. Enjoy!

January 28th
We left Montreal on Wednesday morning (6am). Four hours later, at the border, even with passports, work visas and a full inventory of our merch and instruments, we get pulled over. After waiting for another three hours, they tell us we need a broker (like we’re a 18-wheeler) to pass our shirts through the border and that the fees coulld go up to $900 for not even $2000 worth of merch. Even after we tell them the shirts were printed in the states (they’re left over from the Faceless tour), we have to turn around and rent a locker to store the merch for the month. After finally passing the border (where they almost pulled us over again???), we head out to Cleveland in a snow storm. Arrived at 3 pm, where our bass player for the tour (Derek Engmann from Unmerciful, Cast the Stone, and many more) was waiting for us at an hotel room near the airport where he landed earlier. Scheduled time of arrival: 6pm. Actual time of arrival: 3am.

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The best thing about getting advance copies of CDs for review is knowing that you might be the ONLY person in the world listening to that particular album at any given moment. A few weeks ago I was blasting Obscura’s second disc, Cosmogenesis, over headphones at the gym. As the fluid sweep-picking intro to “Universe Momentum” erupted into its opening brainmelt riff, I looked around to see if anyone else looked as happily stupefied as I did. Nope. Clearly, Obscura had an audience of one at Bally Total Fitness.

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The short version: this is an excellent mash-up someone made of Ozzy and Dio singing “War Pigs” as a duet. There’s not much I can say about it, other than as the rare person who holds Ozzy-era Sabbath and Dio-era Sabbath in equal regard, I find it lotsa fun.

Thanks to MetalSucks Maniac Adam Meyers for sending us the link!

-AR

Of the MetalSucks Mansion inhabitants only Gary Suarez was (reportedly) man enough to attend the shit-hot Dillinger Escape Plan ticket (w/ new drummer!) at The Studio room of NYC’s Webster Hall on Saturday night, part of a brief 3-date East Coast DEP jaunt. While I was happily sleeping off the sedative effects of a 10-course outdoor Snow BBQ (that brisket… holy fuck!!), the video warriors of Metal Injection snuck in a hand-held video camera and captured 5 songs, among them a cover of hometown heroes Living Colour’s now-classic “Cult of Personality.” Unlike previous DEP cover experiments that sailed right over the heads of Warped Tour attendees not even born by the time F.U.C.K. came out let alone 1984, the hipper and older NYC audience lapped that shit right out of Greg Puciato’s bodyglove. Watch as the band tears the house down and Ben Weinman rips through Vernon Reid’s metal-jazz-gasm solo like Vince Neil through a new pair of jeans.

-VN

We here at MetalBlows take our retro obscure seriously. Not simply the passing fads of ‘ain’t-it-oh-so-hep’ genre rehashes-of-de-moment, but I’m talkin real-deal old-school underground shiz…naturally, this holds especially true when it comes to classic psychedelic prog.

And therefore, I am honored to present to you this long-stuck-in-the-crates (or hard drive, rather) Japanese gem from yesteryear. I first heard this album one early weekend morn at the infamous Shit Factory (well before the first phase of the MS Mansion was even under construction), after a long night of galavanting about in the nether regions of Brookland — and I’ll be damned if it didn’t take me one hell of a minute to find it at my music-gathering place-of-choice, our many internets.

I recently got into a debate with the esteemed rebbe Anton Oyvey(sky) about obscure 70s psych-prog bands, which fast turned into a challenge, then eventually a bit of a pissing contest, and finally a bet…needless to say, I brought up The Flower Travellin’ Band, and he’s since become the only head of a rabbinical studies program at a renowned yeshiva with a handlebar mustache. Mucho props to you for going through with it, buddy!

And so I turn to you, our hate-mongering tripped-out readers, and suggest that perhaps this would be a good afternoon to unearth that frozen 8th of fungi, whip up some of Grandpa Wingerschmidt’s World-Famous Mushroomz Tea, put on this album from start to fffinish, begin cleaning your home, and have a good ol’ fashioned buggout when you get to the back closet…yelp!!

After the jump, in its entirety, Satori.

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I’m ’bout to go party at a triple-birthday event then get rowdy at an outdoor winter BBQ tomorrow afternoon (Bacon Explosion, anyone?). But not before I can tell you what went down on MetalSucks this week:

• Dallas broke the silence on Earthsblood and told the “Blabberbitches” to fuck off.
• Zakk Wylde recorded on a Dope song, throwing his last shred of cred out the window. Yeah, Dope.
• Metal Hammer released a shady list of the best death metal songs ever. But at least Metal Hammer is still around: Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs bit the dust for good.
• David Draiman hit the singles market. J-Date.com, here comes the sickness!
• We spoke with Sunn O))) mainman / Southern Lord Records founder Greg Anderson and Sylosis’ Josh Middleton.
• We told you what we think about the new release by Dimension Zero while we asked you what you think about Lamb of God’s latest.
• Sigh’s foxy Dr. Mikannibal got naked and drank cow’s blood.
• We took shots at Camp Kill Yourself and Insane Clown Posse, and their fans took shots at us.

Peace in the mideast.

-VN

Here’s Mercenary’s new video, for the song “The Endless Fall,” which comes off the group’s 2008 offering Architect of Lies.

The truth is, it’s only an okay video, but Vince and I fucking love this band, and if we can convince even one of you to check ‘em out, then we’ve done our job. You could start with Architect of Lies, but I actually recommend The Hours that Remain, which kicks so much ass you’d think it was Christian Bale.

-AR

As a man, I’m painfully aware that at any metal show the chances of me being squeezed between two sweaty fat dudes in the front row for 90 minutes is infinitely higher than me being near anything that remotely resembles a female. I say “resembles” because I still remember the time my buddy wrestled a “dude” to the floor of the Commodore Ballroom after they both caught either end of Jimmy Bower’s drumstick. The look on his face when he heard obscenities yelled at him in a screeched, soprano voice ranks pretty highly among my favorite concert memories.

This time the venue was familiar, the metal crowd certainly was not. Oh sure, I already expected the Cradle of Filth fans who can count more zippers, buckles and chains on their outfits than times they’ve heard their parents say they’re proud of them, but beyond platform soles and midnight blue dreadlocks there were many perfectly normal and some perfectly curvy women in attendance. Now, I’ve never really believed that Dani Filth could be a sex symbol for anyone old enough to buy beer, but I guess being the front man of a popular metal band can make even a hideous midget significantly more fuckable. Then again, the gals probably just came out to hear the music.

Oh yeah, you probably want to hear about the music.

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Typically, I’m not very interested in or even impressed by the majority of the acts that perform at the New York’s annual No Fun Fest, now a three-day event showcasing multiple noisemakers from around the world. On the occasions that I’ve actually attended, it has only been for a single night and typically to catch a single act. Though I read about this year’s lineup some weeks back, I’m still surprised and impressed just how many of these acts are actually exciting me–in my pants.

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I bet a lot of you are wondering why I haven’t been doing my blog lately. Well, let me tell you. Our album comes out very soon and I say a LOT of fucked up shit when I’m writing these blogs. I guess it’s not as fucked up as what the BlabberBitches say but I guess I can get people all riled up. Maybe they have no lives. Maybe their user name handle is out of date and they just can’t change it because their anxiety of being un-”famous” prevents them from doing so. I don’t know.

I slowed down on the blogs for a bunch of reasons. 1) I had a baby. 2) I got a job. 3) I wanted to quiet myself before the album came out so you can pay attention to the music. Of all the shit I say, in the end, none of you would know me if it weren’t for God Forbid so I think it’s respectful to let GF have the spotlight while the record is set to be released.

Now that the record is about to come out [pre-order here. -Ed.] there’s been some press, you’ve heard some songs and you’ve seen the artwork. Most of you are probably familiar with the fact that we’re touring with Ill Nino in Europe in March, Lamb Of God in the states in April, doing the festivals in Europe in June and doing MAYHEM in July and August. That is a lot of touring. And to the BlabberGrundles who said we’re washed up: Yeah, we also got fabric softener with our sick tours… Fuck off.

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Today is Axl Rose’s 46th birthday (!), and he decided to celebrate by giving his first official interview in nine years. The interview, with Billboard, was conducted by e-mail, and Rose reveals that one of the reasons he granted the industry rag’s request was because he “liked the questions,” so apparently the only way to get in good with the guy is to give him up-front approval on everything (no real shock there). Still, there’s some entertaining nuggets in the interview, which, even from the point of view of an Axl apologist such as myself, is pretty friggin’ ridiculous. Check out the highlight reel after the jump, with our observations in italics.

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