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Editorials

HERE’S A PHOTO OF LARS’ LITTLE ULRICH

 Monday, March 30th, 2009 at 1:00pm by

Got this email from MetalSucks Maniac Andrew Doty over the weekend:

I was reading through the MS archives earlier today, as I completely lack a real
life, and was browsing through the “Fuck you, too,” blog series. So, I came upon the
response to Kristen Randall naked picture thing, wherein something about a naked
picture of Lars Ulrich was mentioned, as though it did not exist. So, I thought I
would alert you that it totally does.

I found it when I was looking for Lars being a dick, to illustrate the point that
Lars Ulrich is a dick. Google wasn’t about to take that shit lying down, however,
and let me search for the word “dick” without giving me porn as a result.

Well, fair is fair, and I did say if there was a photo of Lars Ulrich naked, we’d post it, so… after the jump, Lars’ penis. Needless to say, this is NSFW.

1137889078f1ti

-AR

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  • Muzikwhore

    can’t help but stare @ Fuzzfro and tan line. Not bad….not great but alright.

  • Blackthorned

    In front of ‘Arry of all people!
    Where eagles dare? Not quite worthy of an eagle status really.

  • Lady Metal

    That’s sad. And furry, iuck.

  • Patton

    he’s penis is so small cos all the “dickness” went into his head ?

  • http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8345/outside21.jpg Revrant

    I’m not sure why this exists.

  • mr_izan

    hahaha reminds me of GG allin’s Macropenis

  • Johnny Ringo

    i dunno about you guys but this makes me feel better about myself…i mean if my dick is bigger than lars ulrich’s at least that gives me one reason not to off myself every day

  • Cash

    Phew!! Finally my dick’s bigger than someone else’s…

  • ferocious_fetus

    lol at Kirk staring at it.

  • Malacoda

    They’re all checking it out and laughing their asses off.

  • DanyLektro

    Normally, Hetfield would say, “No remorse – no regret”, but I think he’d make an exception for Lars.

  • http://metalmartyr.com Scott

    Some may say “Some are growers and some are showers” or that it may have been cold that day but I think the reality is that Lars just has a tiny pecker.

    Anyone else notice that Kirk is a meat-gazer and appears to be touching himself while doing so?

  • http://www.myspace.com/bannisterslash Bannister Slash

    Penis, imprisoning me
    All that I see
    Absolute shortness
    I cannot fuck
    I cannot lie
    Trapped in myself
    Penis my holding cell!

  • http://yo Becka

    Uhm is it really that small? It could be photoshopped..
    Idc I still think he’s hot. I love Lars. lol.
    Haha I love how Kirk is staring at it…I know they are gay..I just know it.
    (=<3

  • http://hakfjd she

    CHODE

  • Mary

    that’s…one small dick IMO lol

  • http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/11/03/top-5-reasons-why-liv-kristine-can-suck-it/ phale

    hahahaha! i clicked on the link from todays liv kristine post (my name is linked for reference) and i totally did not expect there to actually be a photo of larss penis there! trauma!

    but come on guys, its not that small. if he trimmed that bush it would look normal-size.

    • Mary

      NONSENCE!! thet’a one small dick xDDDDD
      it’ was eithr -15ºC or he has one hell of a SMALL dick :/

  • DuncanTW

    So THAT’S where they got the song name for “The Shortest Straw”!

  • Dethspace

    Mephallica.

  • D&C

    DAMN – i thought that i finally would find one with a smaller penis than mine – guess i have to look somewhere else ! :(

  • matias

    The good things came into a smallers boxes

  • jasjdajsdj

    hell that other guy seems like some heavy emtal bassist from a very well know band

  • Mary

    harris was probabbly laughing at Ulrich :P

  • A girl.

    He’s still hot as fuck :DD

  • stoney

    WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT,i think that’s problably worse than their new album xD

  • Barbara

    ANOTHER REASON WHY METALLICA SUCKS! >:]

  • gorgothaum

    wow… I WINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew ulrich was always a needle dick!

  • Tom Araya

    wow!!! lars you are my angel of death!!!

  • Journey

    OMG…..i don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. I had to zoom in on the picture to even see it. This is hilarious but a little sad at the same time. Lars, it’s not really about the motion of the ocean- My advice would be to get yourself a toddler pool, then it would be appropiate to show it off. ;-)

    • Jj

      i bet you are on the small side as well, right?

  • gaahl

    a little too small, but a dick is a dick
    *fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mani-Kanta/1655307323 Mani Kanta

    It reminds me of lady gaga’s dick………lol

  • http://no edu

    su pichula es normal como la mia igualita.

  • http://no peruvian friend

    is a normal dick,a little small but normal,and erect must be 14 cm,the world penis media,steve harris’ penis is more little too. penis lars is like mine.

    • Mary

      14 centimetros sigue siendo pequeño :D

  • Irondokken

    Is that Steve Harris in the middle!?

  • Ian

    Why is Seve Harris with them????????????

  • kylie everitt

    Poor Guy, how does he keep his wife happy with that?????????

  • tom

    who gives a fuck! he’s obviously not too concerned about it if he’s in the habit of flashing it.

    good advice for most blokes………stop worrying about your dick. Use it.

  • Izabel

    There’s also one of James flashing in the same photo series… haha

  • Lisalee

    all you guys make fun of his penis so that you can now feel better about your lives, and your penises. by the way i love all cocks big and small and his is not an exception. a woman who cares about size is a woman with a large vagina. 

  • Lisalee

    all you guys make fun of his penis so that you can now feel better about your lives, and your penises. by the way i love all cocks big and small and his is not an exception. a woman who cares about size is a woman with a large vagina.