Step 1: Load Meshuggah into spacecraft, send them to the upper reaches of the Earth’s atmosphere.
Step 2: Tell said hippies they will receive free acid if they join Meshuggah on spaceship, under the guise of an interstellar voyage to the land where unicorns roam.
Step 3: Meshuggah plays 24-hour concert in the sky the likes of which have never been seen.
Step 4: The ensuing epicness will tear a whole in the very fabric of reality, allowing flying bananas from another dimension to pour in.
Step 5: Flying bananas return to bananaverse with hippies in tow.
Step 6: Hippies are anally probed and forced to eat meat.
Step 7: Hippies return to Earth changed people.

Show hippies a picture of Lars Ulrich’s baby penis.

get their attention by showing them a closeup shot of one of Lemmy’s Epcot Centers of a mole, then wave a can of PBR in front of their faces and throw it in a woodchipper operated by Ronnie James Dio. ta da.

Drag Jerry Garcia’s corpse onstage and piss on it.

Have one of the metal bands called The Dead announce a “reunion concert”.

Lock them in a dimly lit, windowless room 2 miles underground, tied to electric chairs. At random intervals of time blast Meshuggah for a couple minutes at a time, while administering increasingly leathal shocks to them through the chair. Keep them locked down in the room and continue the process for however long seems necessary (the more hippy they are, the longer it may require). After the process is complete and they are freed, any hippy that was once in them will be destroyed. If not, merely blast Meshuggah, and their extended stays in the will cause their brains to associate the high powered metal barrage with the feeling of the shocks, and they will feel as though they ARE being shocked. You’ve now got the hippies on sonic leashes, courtesy of the baddest motherfuckers to ever spawn from Sweden.

WALL OF DEATH!!!!

Or feed the hippie to Dino Cazares for lunch

forcefeed them hatorade while the gaahl slowly converts them using torture and art.

Yes, I AM an asshole…but no, euro trash\power ballad “viking” metal sucks donkey balls.

Block the entrance at the next Phish show, with the members of Crowbar!
The beauty of this plan is it’s simplicty.

At this particular show I would do any number of things such as; not allowing sandals (or any kind of sock/sandal combination) on site, as well, no clothing made of hemp, mandatory deoderant application for all patrons, say Phish cancelled.

i say we tell the trolls that there is a christian gathering, then set em loose.
With corpsegrinder as the Overlord.

hahaha koOpa, good idea, but not very original.
poooo-no one said you had to like it,but it would work. Also, does insulting me for my idea make you any more of a human? while you have offered no idea yourself for decimation of hippies? hmm…another mindless drone who cannot make up their own ideas, but would rather destroy those of others, because perhaps as a viking metal fan i am not physically strong, but i am ripped mentally, compared to the likes of you, who would rather hide behind your computer screen acting tough than to have the balls to put your own ideas out for others to belittle. and honestly i feel like less of a man because i stooped to your pathetic level of insulting through a blog, but really, grow a pair and leave some ideas of your own. pansy.

It’s crap like this that keep people separate. Congratulations…y’all are part of the problem.

I was at Bonnaroo last year, so it seems metal is getting a growing voice at the festival. Granted, Metallica is about the most accessible metal band, and whose set i failed to sleep through last year, that and the biblical amount of rain, but it’ll be interesting to see if they get more obscure acts in the years to come.

I’d arrange another ‘WOODSTOCK’ and invite all metal bands instead of the ’60′s artists that I’d list on the Woodstock poster/website etc. I think they’ll love it!!!

Just replace their damn “fair coffee” by some cold beer, remove their precious ponchos and replace it with a Bloodbath shirt and the most important : KICK THEIR ASS !

Invite them to a party. A “hippie” party. When they’re good and comfortable, eating their vegatables and smoking their weed, you club them with the nearest blunt object, but make sure not to kill them. Put them in a straight jacket, place their unconcious body in a black steel coffin, with a hole in the side, bury them in the ground with a stereo big enough for them and it, blasting the scariest metal songs ever recorded. The hole in the side of the coffin is so you can feed a drop cord up to the surface plugged into the wall. Oh, and put the CD on repeat.
BWUHAHAHAHAHA!

Good idea, Thanatos, but get this:
Why not get a group of hippies, round them up like cattle, ya know with lasos and such, and bring them into a factory. Chain them to the wall, staple their eyelids to their faces so they can’t close them, give them all hearing aides, and fill them full of adrenaline shots so they’ll stay awake. While they’re chained there, get a hippie up on a stage in front of them and get him to start playing some gay hippie music, to make them think nothing bad will happen, then, shoot the stage hippie, splattering his blood and brains all over the wall hippies, and get Slayer, Shadows Fall, Sepultura, Chimera, Red Chord, Lamb Of God, and alot more different metal bands to play the hardest songs they have untill they turn into metalheads. Those who fail to turn are decapitated by the gillotine.

Alright, here’s what you do-

First, you write a formal complaint to the Hippie King stating why you are disgruntled and why his Hippie followers irk you. If he is a truly caring Hippie King, he will have the Hippie that offended you slayn (via poison in his tofu er sumthing). If the the Hippie King does not comply with your requests- STRIKE HIM DOWN WITH YOUR MIGHTY SWORD/AXE/DAGGER/LIGHTSABER AND WHILE HE IS LAYING THERE ON THE GROUND (possible without an arm or a leg. I guess i depends where you swing) YOU POINT AT HIM WITH YOUR MIGHTY METAL DEVIL HORN HAND GESTURE AND SAY FUCK YOU! YOU HIPPIE BASTARD!!! AND STAB HIM RIGHT THROUGH HIS HEART!!!!

:D

Ok..may not make you laugh but sure as hell made me laugh.I am not a hippie but am of the later 60′s early 70′s s.Wow is this like a trick question?Metal came from the hippies yo!

Wow I need to add to this, I have seen more bands than all of u will ever see in your life time.I would like to announce that I am a true metal head Fovermore!!! Metal is great don’t use it as a tool to make you look like a fool.
{{{SISU}}}

I ain’t talking no kung foo pit either……….a real so called wall of death pit,still cant beat a true metal head from the hippie days down….what the f is a hippie anyways?

Lol just picture Nergal with a tye dye….hilarious

Hey Hippies are cool! Fuck your shitty boring Metal. Hippies were smart enough to have no job, no money, sit around and smoke weed and fuck girls all day. Better than the Metal head losers who never get laid and are probably all closeted gays!! HAHA

i was putting gas into my truck 2 weeks ago. as i was about to get back into my truck, a hippie in a beat-up old car pulled up beside me and started playing a flute. yes, a real flute. he was glaring at me and blowing the life outta that thing. i jumped into my truck and switched to my “Thrash” playlist on my Ipod and followed that hippie with my windows down and cranked the stereo louder than i ever thought it could go. he couldn’t roll up his windows or lose me. he had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other covering his ear. in between thrashings, i could hear him say, “awe, come ooooooonnnnnn maaaaaan!!! what is that?!?!?”
i followed him until he turned into a neighborhood. needless to say, i haven’t seen that flute playing fruit since then…

Joseph…..that is just the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!
Someone should crown you.

Move to New Zealand we don’t have hippies here