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Slave to the Grind

NEXT IDIOT TO MENTION SWINE FLU GETS A KICK IN THE NUTS

 Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 3:00pm by

This morning a friend of mine was riding the subway. Being afflicted with terrible allergies (as I am myself), he sneezed (into his hand – not the open air) and rubbed his sore eyes – at which point some fuckwit apparently started screaming at him about spreading swine flu and told him he should be wearing a mask. At which point, God bless him, my friend did the only logical thing: he started coughing in the fucker’s face.

PEOPLE: YOU DO NOT HAVE FUCKING SWINE FLU. THIS IS NOT A PANDEMIC. CALM THE FUCK DOWN. At best, this is the media’s way of distracting us from all the other fucked up shit going on right now. And if by some fucking chance it is mankind’s time to return to the dark ages – WHICH IT FUCKING IS NOT – well, you can’t say we didn’t have it coming.

Speaking of swine and people acting like fucking maniacs: here’s Pig Destroyer’s video for “Piss Angel,” off of 2001′s Prowler in the Yard. Thanks to my comrade Gary Suarez for the suggestion.

-AR

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  • http://www.myspace.com/orchids Daisy May Tinklepants

    swine flu sounds like the name of a shitty death metal band

  • hater_guy

    i totally agree man! it’s about as hilarious as people in america freaking out thinking muslims from Al queda was sitting right next to them on an airplane thinking it was a ”terrorist” and all it was, was just a mexican. fear is the governments’ best weapon to their own people to give up their freedom for security.

    • Beereded

      We’re actually going over this in one of my college classes.

  • Beereded

    I think one thing that contributes to the spread of swine flu is the overuse of the pig squeal in deathcore. It’s just God’s way of saying “enough already.” The overuse of breakdowns and pig squeals has got to stop or we will all be destroyed.

  • poopsmcgee

    j’agree. let’s not forget that something like 20000 people die each year in the states from influenza…

  • poopsmcgee

    over 60000 if we want to include pneumonia

  • TurdFerguson

    I thought swine flu only affected cops?

    • The Roan

      marked in the win colum

    • SonOF

      Nice one. +1

    • Beereded

      No, it also affects “core” bands.

  • metalguy

    it can only really get you sick if you are an infant or young child, a senior citizen, or have an immune system disorder. the only reason those mexicans died is because they have such shitty healthcare and a terribly diseased country to start wih. other than that its just the flu

  • Will

    So true!

  • Jared

    ahahah coughed in his face. Thats epic
    I heard if you get swine flu, you turn into a swan and fly away, is that tru?

  • http://myspace.com/uptotheminutemetal Natalie – MetalSucks Intern and LOVELY LADY LUMPS

    this is awesome.
    exactly how i feel.

    • Gary S.

      We have an intern?

  • grogga187

    I just had an irish breakfast at 3 in the afternoon, Irish sausage, bacon, and both white and black pudding. This swine flu tastes delicious. Come visit me in the hospital and bring some beers.

    • metalguy

      holy crap put a mask on your computer youll infect this site

    • CrazyD

      Yes swine flu is delicious I do not know what all the complains are about. I’ll room with u in the hospital and have an all out drink till ur brain exploades contest and laugh like fucking crackheads who missed a very aswmly delisious serving of swine flu.

  • http://www.moshblog.me.uk Mosh

    Number of reported “deaths” from swine flu in Mexico a couple of days ago: 150

    Number of deaths now actually attributed to swine ‘flu after they’ve run tests and determined actual cause of death: 7

    Um, yeah. And the WHO are expected to officially label it a pandemic this evening (afternoon, your time).

    Like someone above said, it’s all down to the person who catches it. Dengue fever is rife across Cambodia and Vietnam and kills thousands – because they’re often poor, weak, under-nourished and can’t fight it. The same disease has reached Australia where it’s horrible to catch but very unlikely you’ll die from it.

    Just think – if we all coughed in each other’s faces, didn’t use all that fucking anti-bacterial soap and let our kids play in the mud we’d all still have decent immune systems.

    • Nick

      So true… the overuse of antibiotics and anti-microbial substances is actually detrimental to our race as a whole. Guarantee they come out with a vaccine within the next couple of weeks and with all the media attention it’s been given people will flock to get one. Perhaps an economy boosting strategy?

      • http://metalmartyr.com Scott

        Actually the flu vaccines we already have such as Tamiflu and Relenza are pretty effective against it.

  • Shep

    Did anyone hear about this Swine Flu that’s going around?? lol

  • Bill

    i’m totally naming my first born Pigdestroyer Larsulrichisadouchebag…….

  • keepitwolf

    please watch this video

    dr lenard holowitz

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBeKB7aKzOs

    • Mancubus

      Quickly, bring out the tin foil hat!

      • keepitwolf

        quickly… read a book

  • DemonicLemming

    Bored media + something that sounds scary to the retards who inhabit America = HOLY FUCK EPIC ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE PANDEMIC WE’RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!

    • Bill

      Zombies would at least be interesting.

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    We just have to look to the new Tool waterpark for some insight…can’t spell Maynard’s Wine Flume without “swine flu”

  • bob

    You guys are half right….. Because we have the internet and are able to find about infections so quickly means we can mobilize against it faster, which is why there has never been a killer virus like they predicted in the early 90s. It’s doubtful that this Swine Flu will be nearly as severe as the flu during WWI.

    However, vaccines =/= anti biotics. Vaccines are completely harmless and are not at all detrimental to you longterm and if anything, are GOOD for your immune system. If you don’t get vaccinated, you’re a dumbass.

  • Malacoda

    swine flu = bird flu of now. it will blow over in a month.

    fun fact – some middle eastern religious folks got swine flu, and they aren’t allowed to have anything to do with pigs, right? nobody wanted to offend the religious nuts, so someone proposed a name change to mexican flu :D

  • Mike =O

    HAHA. I knew you guys were gonna post something about this Swine Flu shit eventually. Yeah I totally agree. This shits ridiculous. The ordinary flu kills thousands of people a year.

  • SonOF

    Pig Destroyer destroys all traces of Swine Flu!

  • tyler09

    ive been saying this since monday. The regular flu kills 36,000 people a year in the US. this swine flu shit is rediculous. If mexico wasnt such a dirt poor country and didnt have the shittiest healthcare in the world none of this would be happening. If they wouldnt fuck pigs none of this would happen

  • Noel

    This is such an awsome song. I got if off a relapse combo CD. contamination 6 ,i think…..great song. just killer. i cant express how much this song kicks ass….its as though I could go on about it forever. its that good. so good, i could…OH!MYPOP TARTS ARE DONE!

  • http://infinitybasement.wordpress.com billybob

    Thank god for common sense! I getting sick of this Swine Flu shit being talked about everywhere, it’s gettin’ Ri-god-damn-dickulous! Destroy the pigs!

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      This should be a Rage Against The Machine lyric

  • bob

    And another thing…

    This IS a pandemic. Too many of you, including Axl seem to not understand what a pandemic is. A pandemic is simply a worldwide epidemic. An epidemic is simply more than what is expected of the normal occurrence of the disease. For example, if Bobland had 50 people and 20 people each year get herpes, that is endemic. If 21 people get it the next year, it’s an epidemic.

    We blow up words like epidemic and pandemic to mean millions and billions of people but that’s not what it means. Epidemic simply means that the infection is greater than yearly expectations and pandemic is a worldwide epidemic. We don’t need the media blowing this shit up right now, but to ignore the facts and to ignore this outbreak altogether would be disastrous. It’s a pandemic, but that doesn’t mean millions of people are going to die, and I am sure that’s not what the WHO wants to impart on us in the first place.

    So while I agree with what you are all saying, you need to use your brains too.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      That’s a lotta herpes

    • keepitwolf

      “I am sure that’s not what the WHO wants to impart on us in the first place.”

      you might need to do some research on the WHO, and the WTO.

  • Mancubus

    People, your regular flu vaccinations are already good against swine flu. Tamiflu is effective, Mexico just has shitty healthcare (hence why Mexican cases are far more severe than the ones over here.) And if you don’t want to catch it at all, wear a FUCKING MASK! It’s a cheaper version of the flu shot that can be bought at your local hardware store.

    Also, Mexico City is finally stabilizing in terms of new infections yet they’ve only had one hundred and fifty two deaths in a city of almost nine million and a metropolitan area of twenty two million. If you actually buy into the media and government’s fear mongering, than you’re an idiot. don’t buy into the propaganda.

    Also, there was no 1976 swine flu pandemic. One guy was infected. The last flu pandemic was in 1968 which killed 36,000 Americans. Yet that’s the same number of people killed by the flu in America yearly anyway! There is NO pandemic! It’s just flu! Flu kills more people each year than you think among populations that have been vaccinated. It’s just another flu season.

    Just wash your hands and wear a mask. This whole thing is just the drug companies trying to boost their profits. Of course it’s a new strain of flu that developed from multiple flu strains across several continents, that’s what EVERY year’s flu virus is. You body develops an immunity to last year’s strain so you can’t get it anymore. Every year, the virus mutates which is why you’re able to catch it again.

    In short, this isn’t some crazy new disease, it’s the flu and the biggest case of irresponsible media sensationalism since the Amanda Knox case. You’re FINE!

  • iolanach

    “At which point, God bless him, my friend did the only logical thing: he started coughing in the fucker’s face.”

    Wow, your friend’s quite the man. A former SEAL i’m guessing?

  • http://www.myspace.com/hateband666 Wanga

    I decided at work today to take the edge off Swine Flu – we’re calling it “Piggy Wiggy Snuffles” – it’s much nicer. “Oh, you’re kid died from Piggy Wiggy Snuffles? How cute!!!”

    (I actually have the flu at the moment… I mean I have Piggy Snuffles)

    http://www.myspace.com/hateband666

  • valuum

    imo, swine flu is just a viral marketting operation for last Chimaira’s album

    • Noel

      ahhh, i get it. ahhhah..good, yes.

  • MightyBlue

    Are you guys fucking serious? My wife is an attending physician in a hospital and they are taking this shit serious as fuck. You cough in my face on the subway, you eat my fucking fist. Then I drag you to the fucking hospital to make sure you don’t have this shit.

    But, no, you keep being Mr. Ignorant Tough Guy to the microbes. They eat your types for breakfast.

    • balls

      you’re a fag

    • keepitwolf

      of course they take it seriously they have millions if not billions of dollars at stake

    • CrazyD

      Go smoke a blunt drink a bottle of whiskey and calm ur balls you fucking cum swallowing cock mongler

  • http://www.myspace.com/sciomancy hater_guy

    i wonder who fucked the pig. you know he/she started this. heh

    • CrazyD

      LOL the Mexican

  • Some Random Dude

    Holy shit guys, did you hear about West Nile Virus? It could cause a plague!

    • Beereded

      Or 12 lolz.

    • hater_guy

      and the worst has yet to come. there’s still the Limp Bizquit reunion tour, plus if Britney Spears comes out with a new album we’re all fucked!!!!!!

  • CrazyD

    Lololol I love you. Will u marry me?XD
    The fuck faces that brought up the stupid flu really do need their faces bashed into the cement floor over
    And over. Fucking ridding on a bus u sneeze or cough ppl look at u like u have tentecles forming out of ur head, but on the bright side if u sneeze or cough u do not have to worry about not finding a seat lol. What’s next a desease that turns u purple with orange pokadots??

  • http://www.fishoilfaq.com Beatrice

    i think that in asian countries the Swine Flu did not spread rapidly compared to those countries that are located in colder climates. we should still be very thankful that the swine flu did not cause massive infections.

  • http://www.acnetreatmentlab.com Teddy Blake

    2 of my cousins in mexico got infected with the swine flu virus. thank God, they recovered well. it is a great news that the pandemic on swine flu is gone now.