OK, so admittedly some of our “X looks just like Y” posts have been a bit of a stretch. But holy shitnuggets, do you see that shit?? [sent in by metalgf via People]. I’m not sure whether to be elated or freaked the fuck out… methinks freaked the fuck out. If all else fails, Mary-Kate can always fall back on a career as an “elderly baby” in the eventual sequel to Ozzy’s “Time After Time” video. Maybe we can even start a petition to get Ashley to dress up as No More Tears-era beardless Zakk Wylde.

-VN

Black Dahlia Murder, everyone’s favorite Michigan death metal doodz, will be releasing their first ever DVD Majesty on May 12th. As seems to be de rigeur these, you get not only one disc of awesomeness but two: Disc 1 features a documentary with ridiculous tour antics, live footage, and band interviews, and Disc 2 is a collection of full live tracks and official music videos. The bottom line: it’s Black fucking Dahlia fucking Murder, so you know it’s gonna be funny! If you like what you see from the exclusive preview clip below, you can pre-order the DVD set for a special pre-release price of $17.99 or order a limited edition DVD/t-shirt combo for only $26.99. Get on that!

[This exclusive has now ended.]

Say what you will about Victory Records – and chances are you have, even if you’re in a band that was once on Victory – but it’s hard to find a label with a better sense of marketing and a better understanding of its audience. Its lasting success can of course be attributed to its decision to move away from the buzz cuts ‘n’ bros hardcore on which the label was initially focused and releasing albums of mutated ‘core (post-hardcore, metalcore and later deathcore) and fringe genres that the hardcore kids could grasp on to (third wave ska, indie rock, emo, etc.). A label that can run an ad on MTV2 for Hawthorne Heights, Aiden, and Silverstein one minute and another for BTBAM, Darkest Hour, and Emmure the next is one dedicated to survival, even in an increasingly splintered music climate.

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Twenty days ago it was announced that Burton C. Bell and Dino Cazares would be joining forces for a new project with Gene Hoglan and Byron Stroud; at the time, I wondered why the hell what is basically a Fear Factory reunion wasn’t going to be called Fear Factory.

Well, turns out it will be called Fear Factory.

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[via Revolver]

Trevor Dunn has a new band called MadLove–and apparently it isn’t some freak jazz thing for a change. Just the idea of the legendary bassist making what he calls “straighter, more commercial” rock music should sound irresistible to fans of his heavy work in Mr. Bungle, Fantomas, and the Fantomas-Melvins Big Band. A regular in New York’s downtown avant-garde community, he can frequently be found playing artsy-fartsy venues like The Stone, supporting likeminded subversives such as John Zorn or even leading his own ensembles like PROOFReaders, an Ornette Coleman cover band. That might suit jazz aficionados, but for metalheads it just aint heavy enough. Judging by the video above, MadLove should interest at least some of you.

If you didn’t happen to catch MadLove during the ATP Nightmare Before Christmas weekender last December, the band is playing three shows this week, in Philly, Joisey, and Brooklyn, the latter of these featuring openers Pink Noise and some Thurston Moore trio.

-GS

[Gary Suarez has swine flu. He also writes for Brainwashed and usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

There’s a new website on the metal block called Metal Insider. Launched yesterday, the new site offers a candid inside look behind the scenes of the metal industry featuring interviews, industry news, exclusive insider dirt and more. Check out Metal Insider’s recent interview with Sun O))) / Southern Lord’s Greg Anderson in which he talks smack about major labels, and an interview with Roadrunner A&R guru Mike Gitter about the future of the metal industry and what he looks for in bands he signs. Expect more in the coming days / weeks / months as the site continues to grow. Check it out!

Let’s be honest everyone: Susan Boyle ain’t very pretty!

I’m sick of the PC bullshit we see all over the news shows these days. When you first saw this story all of the beautiful anchors would say the same thing: “This woman, Susan Boyle, a person you might not expect, just blew everyone’s minds with her rendition of blah blah blah.” Let’s look at the phrase in question here. “A person you might not expect.” Short for U.A.F.

Ugly. As. Fuck.

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The new video for Heaven & Hell’s “The Bible Black” is… meh. Not the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but not really that interesting.

So I encourage you to concentrate on the awesomeness of the music, not the blandness of the animation – ’cause this album is pretty spectacular. I’ll post a full review sometime this week, but for now, just know, this album rules.

-AR

Last week in the comments on my review of Chimaira’s The Infection, someone used the phrase “I’ve got an erection for The Infection,” and I’ve been saying it ever since. Good work, whomever you are.

So. A couple of weeks back, we asked you to answer this trivia question…

CHIMAIRA BASSIST JIM LAMARCA’S FAMILY OWNS A PIZZA SHOP IN CLEVELAND. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THAT SHOP?

…and promised that everyone who answered correctly would be entered in a drawing to win limited deluxe fan edition of Chimaira’s awesome new album, The Infection, signed by all six members of the band (pictured above). And while a whole lot of you correctly identified Master Pizza as the pizzeria owned by Jim LaMarca’s family, there can be only winner. And that winner is…

Olivia Major from Naples, ME!

Congrats, Olivia. This baby is friggin’ sweet.

Don’t be too sad if you didn’t win: you can still order one directly from Ferret. It’s worth every penny you’ll pay for it!

And don’t forget to check out Chimaira’s MySpace page for all the latest info on the band!

-AR

Here are things I didn’t know until I checked Blabbermouth this morning:

1. The bass player for my absolute favorite band in the entire world, Dope, is named Derek “Tripp” Tribbett, aka “Sinister.” Because apparently “Virus” was already taken.
2. Daisy from Rock of Love 2, a.k.a. The World’s Best Argument for the Illegalization of Plastic Surgery, is getting her own show, the horribly titled Daisy of Love.
3. “Sinister” will be a contestant on this show. Which means eventually, these two might fuck:

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Is it already that time of year? Holy shit, it is! The second annual run of the MetalSucks-sponsored Paganfest USA tour kicks off tomorrow in Toronto and runs through May 18th all over the U.S. and Canada! This is huge news for the following reasons:

1. You finally get to dust off that old viking helmet that’s been lying around since last year’s Paganfest.
2. You get to drink lots of beer, repeatedly pump your fist in the air and yell “hey!,” and generally act like an asshole at a concert without feeling bad about it.
3. You get to see this year’s lineup of ridiculously awesome pagan metal bands: Korpiklaani, Primordial, Moonsoorow, Blackguard and Swashbuckle.
4. Last year’s Paganfest was the most fun we had at a show all year; for serious!

We’ll be at the New York date on Monday, May 4th at Irving Plaza. Brownie points to anyone who dresses up in warpaint and loincloths. Bonus: after the jump, check out the chill-inducing Metal Injection-filmed live footage of Turisas performing “Rasputin” at last year’s Paganfest.

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Lots of people have emailed us about Denmark’s rockabilly metallers Volbeat over the past several months, and lots of folks have told me in person how much they adore this band. I guess I think they’re pretty cool, though I certainly ain’t wowed, and this is the kind of band that perhaps is best appreciated live in concert.

Here’s their video for “Maybellene i Hofteholder” from the Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood record which came out last year.

What does the MetalSucks Haterade Mafia think of Volbeat?

-VN

Check it out: Canadian metal masters 3 Inches of Blood have collaborated with Nike 6.0 on these new kicks, the Blood Oncore High. As you can see, they may very well be the most metal sneakers ever created:

The shoes will go on sale at select retailers starting this Friday, May 1, but MetalSucks is teaming up with Nike 6.0 to give away one free pair to one very lucky winner! Here’s all you have to do to win:

IN OUR COMMENTS SECTION BELOW, TELL US WHICH 3 INCHES OF BLOOD SONG BEST REPRESENTS THE BLOOD ONCORE HIGH.

And that’s it! Axl and Vince will choose the best answer and pick a winner, who gets an absolutely free pair of these killer shoes. Please make sure you register for the comments section using a real e-mail address, as the winner will contacted by e-mail. Also, please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only. This contest ends at midnight EST on Monday, May 4.

You can get more info on this awesome footwear at Nike 6.0′s official website, and don’t forget to check out 3 Inches of Blood’s MySpace page for all the latest info on what 31OB are up to.

After the jump, check out some more photos of this sweet ass sneakers, and then post your entry in our comments section!

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I friggin’ love it when I’m right: Megadeth will indeed be doing a co-headlining trek with Slayer. And Machine Fucking Head and Sucide Fucking Silence are the support. Holy fried shit sandwich, that’s a great tour.

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So here’s  a good story for you: way back in October of ’07, when MetalSucks wasn’t even a year old yet, I wrote a pretty miserable review (to put it mildly) for The Autumn Offering’s Fear Will Cast No Shadow. Cut ahead to last month, and The Autumn Offering vocalist Matt McChesney actually e-mails me to say he likes our site and he’s bummed about the negative review. And then we had a completely calm, casual, and intelligent exchange about said review. So even if you hate The Autumn Offering, you gotta give McChesney props for being so chill about the whole thing. We’ve certainly encountered bands that did not look upon us so favorably after we said terrible things about them.

Now The Autumn Offering have a new album coming out on June 9, Requiem. McChesney has let me hear one song off of it, and I gotta say, it is a huge step in the right direction. Will the whole album be good? I honestly don’t know. But I’m certainly gonna give this band another chance.

Here’s a teaser for Requiem… we’ll have a full interview with McChesney – and another nice surprise from the band – a little later this week.

-AR

Actually, we don’t have to pirate our own articles. Plenty of other websites do that for us, often without giving us credit or linking back to us. Once upon a time someone even accidentally included one of our bylines in their cut and paste job. Said “writer” apologized but then went on to shamelessly rip us off many more times, which was nice, because it shows his apology was sincere. You know who else tried to pass off someone else’s work as their own? The guy who went on to shoot Dimebag. So good company you keep, fellas.

Here are other ethically questionable decisions people made in the metal world this week:

• Hasidim moshed, we made punny jokes.
• Matt Heafy and Paolo Gregoletto of Trivium asked fans to illegally burn and share the band’s music.
• We’re streaming God Dethroned’s entire new album until Tuesday; listen now! We also debuted new tracks from Animals as Leaders and Burning Human.
• Arch Enemy choose to re-record old material; we choose to stop talking about this project from hereon out (starting… now!).
• Tyson vs. Holyfield 3 Underoath vs. Avenged Sevenfold! We love this kind of shit.
• Some Russian high school black metallers headbanged for show and tell, and we pondered how to improve our corpsepaint skillz.
• The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Greg Puciato sounded off against President Barack Obama. You sounded off against each other.
• We looked at new releases from Chimaira, God Dethroned and Goes Cube.

Next week brings more contests, more interviews, more new music streams you won’t be able to hear anywhere else, and at least one confrontation with a singer Axl once gave a terrible review. Come back and read more. You know you want to.

-Vince and Axl

…and any hope I had that this might be better than Rob Zombie’s Halloween just went right out the fucking window.

Michael Meyers doesn’t have mommy issues. He’s also not a hillbilly. Both of those traits describe Jason Voorhees just fine, but not Michael Meyers. Congratulations, Rob, you are now doing sub-Platinum Dunes work.

-AR

The MetalSucks-sponsored Relapse Contamination Tour, featuring Obscura, Graves of Valor and Abysmal Dawn, gets underway this coming Tuesday in Birmingham, AL — and guess what? We’re giving away a pair of tickets for each show date!! In addition to a pair of tickets, one lucky grand prize winner will also receive all three bands’ new albums (Obscura’s titillatingly awesome Cosmogenesis, Graves of Valor’s Salarian Gate, and Abysmal Dawn’s Programmed to Consume), a Relapse Cult T-Shirt, Relapse Patch and buttons, and a rour poster.

Alls ya gotta do to win is send an email to recontaminate [at] metalsucks.net with the following in the subject line, replaced with your own info: RECONTAMINATE – DATE / CITY / VENUE – FULL LEGAL NAME. Winners will be randomly chosen.

Full list of tour dates and cities after the jump in case you need reminding. Good luck!

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Earlier this month, to help celebrate the fact that our favorite Massholes, Shadows Fall, are going to play decimate Bonnaroo, we asked you to tell us the best way to stop a hippy using metal. We got a lot of great entries but there was only room for ten winners. And those winners each get an awesome Shadows Fall shirt (pictured above). Congratulations everyone!

Read the ten winning entries after the jump. And don’t forget to check out Shadows Fall’s website and Shadows Fall’s MySpace page for all the latest updates on the band!

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