FUCK WOLVERINE
Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 4:00pm by Axl RosenbergIf anyone watched the Oscars this year – and I don’t know why anyone would have, but I did – you might remember that the most inadvertently hilarious moment was when Hugh Jackman, at the end of a huge song n’ dance number, shouted “THE MUSICAL IS BACK!” My friends and I spent the rest of the telecast shouting that very phrase at random, usually inappropriate moments – e.g., the video montage of dead people, Kate Winslet crying because she still has to go home and fuck Sam Mendes, etc. – and if my girlfriend really drags me to see this piece of garbage movie this weekend, as she’s been threatening to, I plan to shout “THE MUSICAL IS BACK!” every time I get bored. Rude? Yes. Funny? To me it is, and I’m a a narcissist, so fuck the rest of the audience. Also, the movie is not going to be good anyway, so fuck anyone who cares.
One thing that could have made this drek at least mildly watchable would have been an egregious use of Entombed’s “Wolverine Blues.” Not that this is my favorite Entombed song by any stretch of the imagination – in fact, the tie-in with the Marvel mutant seemed random at best back in the day – but, y’know, I’m grasping at straws for anything that would make this movie feel less like a mouth raping. Think about it: every time Wolverine gets angry, every time something explodes, every time something dramatic happens – this song starts to play:
THE MUSICAL IS BACK!!!
-AR
All I can say is…
WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO DEADPOOL
Ditto to what Kyle said. This movie sucks.
THE MUSICAL IS BACK!!!!!!!!!
….tonight at cattle decapition that is…whos with me?!
i still want to see it. and i probably will enjoy it because im lame.
ditto
double ditto. And i’ve never been a fan of Wolverine Blues. Don’t know why, i even like Entombed *shrugs*
tell your girlfriend to be like the million other fanboys and dowload movie online from what I hear its not worth the 8 bucks to see it
i never associated that song with the comic character wolverine back in the day. I always thought that album would make a great soundtrack for a zombie movie though.
movies suck. Avoid them. Music = better.
I come by here everyday for some good metal news and what do i get today? A rant against a movie. F for content on this one. I didnt know this had turned into Moviessuck.com
fuck wolverine? fuck the studio that fucked him up maybe, but fuck wolverine? that’s like saying fuck michael myers because rob zombie fucked him up.
I saw maybe the last 20 minutes of it on a bootleg dvd somebody had and Ill never get those 20 minutes back
I saw it today. I liked it. Lots of stuff blew up. I haven’t read a Wolverine comic (or any other X-Men related comic) since the early ’80s, so whatever they changed about the characters between page and screen I really couldn’t give a fuck about. Like I said, lots of stuff blew up.
You can’t trust an Austrailian with their own anus, never mind a cultural icon.
Too right, dickhead!
Deadpool!!1! =(
The scene after the credits gave me a little bit of hope though.
of course it’s gonna suck
it’s the Fox X-Men
had Marvel just done it themselves (like with Iron Man. . .the only good Marvel flick to date) it might’ve had a chance.
. . . .is your girlfriend going to see it just because of Gambit, like every other girl in the world?
Deadpool? What DID they do to him? I haven’t seen/heard much about the movie but I fucking love that guy in the comics. When I heard he was gonna be in this I knew it would either be awesome or a waste of a good character.
The guys in Entombed actually didn’t want to be associated with the comic book character. The song (the whole album) is about the wolverine: the giant weasel native to Sweden and other northern climes. It’s some kind of literary reference. At least that’s what I read in Choosing Death. They were a bit miffed after they did their song in front of blue screen and somebody made it a comic book thing.
The musical is back! (but my attraction to the opposite sex is gone)